i hope that in every lifetime
every lover i have
is a reflection of you

you tear my heart to shreds
but you’re the only one who can ever
put it back together again

every word feels like a knife
cutting through my chest
searing white hot pain

i can’t stop myself from loving you
needing you
it has to be you.

do you ever think about how we know everything about each other yet we live our lives as strangers?

i remember being gentle
being kind
not a single word i spoke was angry
i was soft
and sweet
and quiet

i don’t remember becoming cold
learning to be so mean
filling my words with venom and razors
i stopped being soft
and sweet
and quiet

i wish i never left my heart unguarded
i wish i could be gentle again
i miss when love came easy

it is so exhausting
trying to live in a society
that was created to destroy us

i want you to forever interrupt my alone time
my heart aches for your presence
the comfort of existing
with you

i write my pain
thousands of letters and words
hidden away in a place only i know

i hold things in
until i can find the words i need
to say what i feel

i let it go
tears smearing fresh ink
making the words bleed

so that i don’t have to