Is it really so narcissistic of me
To have the desire to be the person
To make someone's life better?

There are chinks in my walls though tall they may be
Spots of weakness
Where mortar and brick were placed too hastily
To cover up what was
I stand an ever watchful guard upon the parapets
Unwilling to unbar the gate
Willing to fight to keep all out
I sit alone in my false castle
A great and powerful facade for me to hide within
A projection of an image rather than reflection in truth
If left to my own these walls will only grow
Left behind them to rot
They serve to build a fear of what lies beyond those walls
Almost like the walls themselves
I willingly seclude myself from the greatest opportunities
Because it is easy. No
Because I fear they be only half broken by someone
To be able to see over the edge
Yet still too high to make that leap
I have seen that path
These walls still show the marks of repair
Like the rings on a tree
They mark the passing of loves, friends and family
I beg of you
Lay siege on my walls
I'm ready to see these walls come down around me
Bring your greatest canon and siege works
Although I am ready they will not fall without a fight
Take aim at these chinks, those great fears piled like stone
They will hold fast for they are old and high
Yet no wall can stand forever
They will fall
Walls will tumble and turn to dust
From the dust I will emerge free of these prison walls
To see the world firsthand good and bad
Please I beg of you
Lay siege to my false castle

I flip through, song after song.
Playlist after playlist
Looking for those sounds to sooth my soul
Nothing seems to cut it tonight
I only wish to hear you sing
To the world
To me
I only wish to hear you sing

My friends tell me you're all I speak of
How could I not
You have a natural beauty about you
Iradiant of something I cannot lay words on
An auroa is the closest word I can touch
I gravitate towards you since we met
Everytime in the same room
It seems we find each other
To this connection we share
Such ease of communication
It seems a constant debate but this is what I love
The ever swinging pros and cons of conversation
That sly smile
Those blue green eyes break down these dishonest walls Ive built
It coaxes an honesty from me no one but you has seen
How could I be untruthful with such truth in beauty sitting across from me.

Once again I lie here
The depth of the night shortly to give way
To the creep of sunrise
I lie here again my mind swimming with you
Words that could be said
Your smile graces my closed eyes

have you ever sat up at night
just sat there cigarette after cigarette
a feeling of what the **** is going on
why this and why that
the pillow might as well be cement
the dark inflicts more wounds than rest
what keeps you up
faces, expiriences
**** i dont know
its everything all rolled up
what words exist in any language to describe it
its your worst nightmares
and the best high youve ever known
they simultaneously intertwine
to become something resembling addiction
i mean what else could it be
its the best gift a mind could be given
yet drives you to see your dark edges
like fire and gasoline
its beautifuly destructive
but like ashes on the burnt plains
green grass may grow again

I do not wish to seem forward
No disrespect
I say this not of prying eyes
But of open mind
Forgive me my butterflies my stomach is full
For never have I said such to anyone
Your words have sparked my mind
Statements of alone despair
Feelings of seclusion no one knows
Feelings of difference
No one to talk to
No one to truly listen
Trepidation to unveil your creative mind and soul
To bear all for all to see
These feelings you speak of
They echo my own words never before uttered
It does not have to be this way
I see in you an artist
I understand the torment of sleepless nights
Unrelenting restlessness with no answer
I see you speak with nothing but emotion even if subtle
You understand how convoluted emotion is
Like the layers of a song
It is a sum of all parts
I see your wish to convey
Lost in translation in a world that doesn't understand
I too share these tormented nights
Fueled by whiskey and never ending smoke trails of so many cigarettes
I wish to see your beautiful spark unleashed on this world
I too wish my own to be seen
Two artists afraid of the world
Lost and looking
For ourselves
For someone else to share it all with
Support
A helping hand
To learn, live and love in an entirely new fashion
To leave preconceived notions behind
To forge a new path.
I try to find the courage
To speak these things to you
Yet I feel held back
By the very own fear and self doubt we share