I wait for cigs to appear in a tiny tea can
I buy things I don't need, not out of greed
He gets off late at night, quite near three
I'm not good at loving anybody, any man,
Anything

Why must I love the poets, the painters, the piano players?

I dilute, I digress, as he touches my chest
Soft permeating whispers of spurious love
Pretending for a reason to reach this octave
I'm somewhere distant, somewhere I can rest
A mess

Are artists meant to be with artists? Do they bring out in each other what is darkest?

He lies tired, I wide awake with moon eyes
I curl my ivory back to his kisses and fingers
My cold heart does nothing but shiver
This is a sad type of a music, reprise after reprise
I sometimes cry

And I can't get close, cause I can't relate.
No brain train is the same,
but mines off the rails and no one knows what it's like to ride,
******* great,
*this is why I don't date.

What a *****.

Everyone grows up wanting to be somewhere they're not.
Anywhere but here.
In this town, those who stick around are the ones who succeeded, the ones who gave up, and the ones who never tried.

I will never tell you; I have fallen for you.

The days grow longer and longer
Because you never came home
Because every time I close my eyes
Your face is behind these moist lids
A day became a week within seconds
Thinking you would be safe soon
But that was just a dream
No worries. These days that's all I do
Wait, forever, these days.

Things happen quickly
One minute, I'm alive
My body is warm
With each inhale, my chest rises
With each exhale, it falls
It continues on that way,
And I'm unaware of it,
Until a masked gunman pulls his trigger
As quickly as the sound of the bang
The colors fade from my eyesight
Everything looks stale
Heat escapes me, and my hands
Feel like static
Like those eerie TV stations that don't work
They're there, but not present
They don't reach anything
I've become aware of my body
But I can't feel it
At the same time, it's all I can feel,
Hollow
An empty room where you wonder
What's here?
What used to be here?
What is coming here?
This is the part where I shut down
Completely shut down
My only function is to
Rock myself back and forth
Not even to breathe
The control over that was killed
With the gun from earlier
Just had a slower death
They say when things are quiet enough
People are driven insane
Because all they can hear is their mind
And when I've shut out the rest of the world
Whether I mean to or not
That statement is the truth