The cable car is inert
A mixed bag
The second coming of sweet talk
The bathroom attendant is the culprit
Who is trying to get his point across
And gain some sensibility

He was in a cold sweat during a heatwave
She had hot flashes during a cold snap
Fever blisters, heat blisters
Frost bite and heat stroke
Take a cold shower together
Then put on your street clothes
Feast your eyes
Set your sights
Impeccably punctual

The rag tag constituents
*** rush the 'ol drawing board for bragging rights
A jail break in the making
Drinking rat tails at last call
Scarfing down pickled pigs feet
It'***** or miss
It's a leap year

Locking horns with one another
Ornery
Putting forth an esteemed ultimatum
Swing and a miss
Hock your watch
And mind the store
Don't ask don't tell
It's a work in progress

    -Tommy Johnson

It's sad to say this
We live under umbrella terms
On some kind of spectrum
Abiding by Murphy's law
Being read our Miranda rights
Numbers on a scatter plot
In other words it's an open invitation
For one trick ponies
To sideswipe us
Knock us for a loop
Knocking us down a few pegs
Making us a laughing stock
Sieg heil the zeitgeist
Study the hermit's manifesto
It speaks of finicky beggars
And groveling choosers
Honor slayings
Oscar-worthy faked *******
First rate blood baths
Second rate novelty acts
Bending over backwards
And knee **** reactions
Cooking up something abominable
Having it hit the fan
To ensnare and entrap all who are near
Hot off the knock-off stenograph
Tack on another ten thousand years
In other news...
       -Tommy Johnson

A term of endearment
A pure bread
Pedigree
Imbecile

The firing squad on parade on the thoroughfare
The death squads are on patrol for run on sentences and chemical runoff
The peer mediators tell us all to calm down
The rapscallions try to push us into their get-rich-quick schemes
And the shut-ins settle down with their mail ordered brides

The wallflowers tell everyone to go to hell with great brio
I guess I'll see them there
It won't be much of an endeavor
It'll be like a dog finding its way home

The blood brothers perturb everyone else
Telling them their open blood pact is BYOB
Then starting a be-in singing Come all ye faithful and Kumbaya
It all comes full circle, monkey see monkey do

A sob story
About empty toilet paper rolls
And toilet seats being left up

Living nine lives
In a dog eat dog world
Fighting hunger tooth to nail

You look ravishing
I am famished and undeserving

Turning your home into a ***** house
Your conscience has signed off
It bailed

Cool kids and wild cards
Getting off Scott free

Life ends
When the parents come home

I'd give you a hand
If it didn't cost me an arm and a leg
You'll be in my thoughts
And my heart goes out to you

I laid my eyes
On your tapping toes
And buckling knees
You have no back bone

I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach
Even though you split my sides
I could read your lips
And I saw you were lying through your teeth

You were tongue tied
Your wrists were slit
Hair frizzed
Voice raspy and dishonest

The Kleptomaniac sat in his stolen smoking jacket
Disregarding all the trifling troubles of the world
And plotting his next lofty move

The Urchin rolled down his window
And screamed his head off about Manifest Destiny
In the Sahara

The two met at the airport
A rift in fate
They were both subjected to a pat down search
The Urchin attempted to interject
The Kleptomaniac saw him as an irritant who should just keep his mouth shut, yet respected his bold brashness

The Urchin saw the Kleptomaniac as a person on the right track
Someone of substance

He wanted to simulate
Emulate
Imitate
Everything he was

They were both the biggest all star losers at their all time low winning at having the two longest losing streaks ever  
Inglorious

They traded numbers
But never spoke again
Even though they knew the phone worked both ways