Doubled over with glee
Extinguishing the flaming escorts
Then taking off to Alphabet city
To meet the escape artist
He's nutty
And has asked me to accompany him to his thirty four acre plot of land
Somewhere out in East *******
He wants to film a blockbuster
It's top secret, only we know
There will be a scene where the protagonist yodels for his father
And erects a windmill with his honest hands
I found this pony-tailed guy in the classifieds
He was looking for an accordion player and I replied
He called me The Flavor of the Week
He had boxes and boxes of wigs and toupees
And every time he put new one on, he was a different person
He would go upstairs and leave me in the den
I'd hear thuds, thumps and screaming
Some kind of emotional turbulence
He said he bit the bullet when Houdini made it big
But when Houdini bit the dust, he went rapping at the door of his estate and gnawed at the door handle
And would not stop ringing the bell
Laughing and laughing
It was his chance to get the rebound
And get down to the nitty gritty
But I couldn't bring myself to tell him this was going to be a box-office bomb
He tried incessantly to revive his dreams
He went mad and ran a square mile
He still writes me, and tells me I never call
The phone works both ways buddy
And I do not see you coming in today's forecast
So I'll come to you, you *******

"Take a throne, we're all royalty here"
Said the Master of Ceremonies to The Peeping Tom, The Spokesperson, The Wretch and The One Man Band

He pulled out the syllabus
It said that each of his colleges must fulfill a duty if they wanted membership into this social club
The One Man Band had to seek out a impudent amputee, a touchy nomad and give them brochures to a day spa
The Spokesperson was asked to to find his inner child, his feminine side and his sensitive side while making good conversation with Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand and ask him why he holds a grudge against Bosnia

The Wretch was given the task to sell Avon products to those who looked like death warmed over and sway their urges to burn their candles at both ends
Lastly, the Peeping Tom was told to teach the languid, rough and tumble lipid worshiping people the number line then pass out pamphlets on healthy living

After reviewing their work and the rubric, the Master of Ceremonies congratulated them, they were in

"You will all now be a part of history, figures on this brotherhood's timeline; you fit the bill!"
They all got up as the Wretch footed the bill and went on to go wassailing

       -Tommy Johnson

How can you judge?
How can you count?
How can you perceive?
How can you know?
What it's like in a day of  life of another?

Different time zones
Zip codes
Regions and countries
Cycles
Circumstances
Hemispheres of women and men

Likes
Senses
Problems
Dislikes

Measurements
Of weight
Distance
Height
And time

But we all share a life force of love
Whether we embrace it or push it away
Is every individual's choice
And that is life

Season change
Time passes forward
We can only look back
But live in the now

Will this moment by mine, your's our last?
Plan
Remember
Savor
And hope

Learn
Feel
Absolve
Go on

Celebrate, commemorate and commend
The circle never ends
Have no enemies and make friends
There is no room for hate so re-amend

Look deep into the eyes of those who you share air
Look fondly into the soul of those who sip from the same cup
Overlook color
Disregard secular stigmas

Swap each other's shoes and run a mile
Then you can comprehend
You will know
What love and what life means

One day Frick when to the place to buy some stuff
While Frack stayed in the area to do some things
Frack tossed out some junk
He used the the whatchamacallit to clean the thingamajig
Pick up the odds and ends
And he scrubbed a doodad with the thingamabob


Frick purchesed some knickknacks and bric-a-brac
A few sundries
A couple of tchotkes and trinkets
Some whatnot
A gizmo
A gadget
And more miscellaneous paraphernalia

When Frick got home Frack asked "What'd you buy?"
Frick said " Oh, this and that" "What'd you do all day?"
Frack said "Just a hodgepodge of etcetera, etcetera"
       -Tommy Johnson

I'll save my money for a rainy day
I have filled up tube socks like no one else I've ever known
Tucking it away for my trip to see The Man on the Moon
He's someone who's like no one else I've ever known

When all is quiet in the dead of night he sends out screaming shooting stars
I know it's The Man on the Moon when I look up
When the tides come farther in to touch the shore
I know it's The Man on the Moon when I look up

Here comes the sun, hide your bills in your cash box
Expenditures bigger than any other I've ever known
It burns a hole right through my pocket
Deeper than every hole I've ever known

When it rains and it tastes like moonshine
I know it's The Man on the Moon spilling his cup
When it's a crescent and I see a fishing line
I know it's The Man on the Moon pondering I don't know what
When it shines so bright at midnight
I know The Man on the  Moon is looking down at me
When it's full and it's just right
I know The Man on the Moon is at peace

Now every one down down here thinks he's a lunatic
With all his lunar antics some kind of ludicrous
I tell him this, he has a laughing fit and ask how he's the clown
When we live on an over populated rock with gravity that just keeps us down

When the sun goes down and it comes up
I know The Man on the Moon is wide awake
I see it rise, oh what luck
The Man on the Moon has until day break
Here it is it's in orbit
I see The Man on the Moon swimming in his craters
When the light comes he is merely dormant
But in the darkness every moment with The Man on the Moon I savor

Her life has gone haywire
So she hits the sack of hay
Capital Hill tries to take advantage of this
So they try to revive their old conservative practices
With tools of maladjustment

The criminals give good ideas
To the goody-two- shoes looking to bust loose
Who create dark desire
For the demented ones with power

The Birthgiver slaves away
Until her heart gives out
The Embeder is on his hands and knees
Searching for sustenance
I, the final product is at the first national bank
Missing all who have died

The man from Illinois
Pleads not guilty
The judge looks in the eye
And says this mistake will cost him

His lawyer stands up
And puts his hand on the mans's shoulder
And tries to cheer him up
And says "it's only a life sentence, you'll be fine"

The smart mouth, while ridiculing the knife thrower
Sees the sword swallower  doing his act
And asks, "Did you pick that trick up from your ***** mother or **** father?"
The sword swallower regurgitates the saber and removes the smart mouth's tongue

Soon after, the smart mouth becomes the fat head
Who is now a priest
Who has no idea what he's talking about
But, neither do the people who follow him

Our six-star rank general calls an assault
And tells his soliders to do handstands
As he personally executes our last hope
To end this holy war we have nothing to do with

All the branches collectively agree
The public can never know their plans
They can only be spoon fed political promises
That aren't meant to be kept but to get votes and fund their federation

If you look up naive in the dictionary
You'll see the synonym ignorant
But in an atlas you find the address
Of some one who sees the school system more useful than an encyclopedia and library cards

I hope that the kids of tomorrow will be prepped and ready
For a world where it's not what you know but who you know
And where a degree is the equivalent to bathroom tissue  
But mutual friends are golden tickets

The musicians these days aren't artist but entertainers
Who write catchy tunes with an accessible message
While the social networks keep us connected
And up to date with everything they say we need to know

I dream of creating something simple
That can wake up the world from this trance
So it can stand up and make a change
And save the unborn and put the dying at ease

The retired vaudevillian engraves his love's epitaph while eating caramelized clusters
The local sodomites huddle around and mourn outside the morgue
Waiting for the body of their **** to be handed over
They've given her body an overhaul
She looks more alive than when she was living
Hobnobbing with the well-to-do

The retired vaudevillian comes to collect the body of his deceased wife
He looks down at the sodomites
For their outlandish appearance and choice of employment has resulted in mistrust

"Oh my love, why couldn't you have been the driver instead of the passenger whose body was jettisoned into the air and smashed upon the asphalt?"
"She could do ten thousand breast strokes, paint masterpieces with one brush stroke"

The sodomites began to taunt the vaudevillian
Calling him washed up
He retorted back calling them toothless heathen ******  
A mercenary was called to end the dispute outside of the morgue
He killed half of the sodomites and tasered the vaudevillian

The undertaker wheeled out the body bag on dolly
But he lost control, and the body went careening down the hill into a cloudy bay
The party of mourners grouped around the bay and watched the body float on to the afterlife
She left behind her has-been husband and her **** ******* cohorts
I bet she would have appreciated this little organized dime store wake