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Tommy Feb 2016
Did you see all the nice things they wrote?
All the praise they gave me,
Did you see it?
Sixty-five different people all at once,
Did you see how many people liked the picture?
Are you proud of me?
I've been checking the page
Every hour
Yesterday there was a new notification
Every time I looked at my phone...

And to think I've been worried
That I didn't have any friends
Down here in the big smoke
All I needed to do
Was change change my profile picture!
Sometimes life is difficult. Having a second life online surely only makes things harder!
Tommy Feb 2016
An ant is dying slowly in the bathroom
We sit close
Huddled together
Clinging to one another
Feverishly, as the light fades
Waiting for the final goodbye and
Quietly dreading letting go
Of this moment, of all
That came before it
And all that
Never was
And may never be.
I don't want to give you up
But it seems I may have to
After never having you myself
But this is just the beginning
And your red hair
Like a wave
May just crash it's way
Back into my life
A little later down the line.

I won't hold my breath.
For now I'll let the spines of your "betrayal" do their worst
Tommy Feb 2016
I don't know why you wrote it down
But you made it concrete
What you said was
You love me more when I'm asleep
Because in my peaceful slumber
I am beautiful
Yet I remain unaware of the fact.
But I would like to clarify for you
The true meaning behind your words
And the only sentiment I can understand
From what you wrote that night
And what you told the world.
You said you love me more when I'm asleep
But you only love me more
In my rest
So peaceful and pure
Because I cease to exist.
In my quiet unconsciousness
I am an empty shell
You are blind to the workings of my brain
Reminded only of the doll that exists outside of me.
You mould me into all of your fantasies
Assigning characteristics to a lifeless body
You create new people in my image
New women
New lovers
A new me
A perfect me
A version of myself I could never truly be
Because my brain is my own
And I cannot read yours
I will not shape my person to your needs.
So please don't ever say it again
That you love me more when I'm asleep
That I look more beautiful lifeless
Than when my brain is running
Than when my life shines through my eyes
And my heart sings from my lungs
Don't ever say again
That my only beauty rests
In my nescience
Because all I hear
Is that you don't love me at all
And I don't want this to end

Yet.
Tommy Nov 2015
Encase me in a casket made of crystal
And throw it overboard
Sinking down in the depths of that deep deep blue

Wait as my body sinks further and further
The cracks begin to show
As the pressure gets the better of my hard shell

Keep looking for me as the bubbles rise to the top
Knowing that there's nothing you can do
I'm still hoping I'll float

The waves are flooding into this crystal box
As the walls fall away at my sides
Don't leave me here alone, struggling against the current
i don't know if i can keep going
Tommy Nov 2015
Slim fingers
Running through silken strands of bronze
Gentle
Careful
Loving
Light dancing
To the gravel tone
Of your soft voice
Moving this way and that
As my heart beats
Like the flicker of candlelight

Dreams of lazy sundays
Warm in my nest of cotton
Close
Steady mind
Alive
Present in the moment
Safe, as though this were my home
Soft lips
Light breathing
Like feathers tickling my skin

You lay
Heavy like the weight of my heart
Still
Smiling
Tranquil
As I sink lower into these clouds
Lower, lower, back to Earth
Reality drops
As I breathe out
written while the album Trouble by Ray Lamontagne played in the background...
Tommy Nov 2015
That child isn't real
It's just a doll in the corner
The porcelain catching dust
While its eyes roll back inside its head
The curls of plastic hair lie limp
And the bow in her hair has come untied


The child can't hear me
Or the shouting in the next room
It won't feel the shudder of doors
Slamming in my face
Reverberating through this cave of a house
It won't hear me wail in the night

The child can't see me
Or the mascara running down my cheeks
It can't see you turn your back
And leave me to my sorrows
Wallowing in the empty rooms of this dark shell

The child can't speak
She can't tell me what she's seen
She can't tell me what to do
Now that I'm abandoned in this wasteland
She can't tell me who she is
But I know she'll keep my secrets

The child can't move
From that spot she found in the corner
The cobwebs bind her limbs
And she is lifeless, stuck
The mirrors in this house are all shattered
And every window has been boarded up
All but those staring glass eyes of hers

That child isn't real
It's just a doll in the corner
Its porcelain is catching dust
While its eyes roll back inside its head
The curls of plastic hair lie limp
But I've retied the bow in her hair
Tommy Nov 2015
There's ***** on the ground
A few puddles of **** a bit further on down
There's blood all up the wall
A few drops trickling towards the floor.

Coagulated, it's a sticky dark brown
It's starting to smell like iron filings, ground
Mixed with the reek of bleeding raw meat
Just like the butcher's at the end of the street

The sirens are slowly beginning to call
Everything's slowed down, as ever closer they crawl
The guard dogs, stood loyal, bark and they howl
The creeping smell of a rotting soul turns this winter air foul

The uniforms they've now arrived on the scene
Somewhere in the distance, as always, is the wail of a scream
Over a screeching megaphone they've said to stay calm
It's a bit late for that, as they get back in their cars

Nobody will come down this godforsaken road anymore
They said they'd abandon it; they did- they swore
Out of respect for the dead, the papers they said, wrote
Heart wrenching eulogies with lumps in their throats

And now the smell lingers on while the cobwebs remain
Through the shattered windows you can see the carpets still stained
The radios left blaring, and the kids dropped their toys
But there's no sign of life here, just a constant white noise.
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