I don't know why you wrote it down
But you made it concrete
What you said was
You love me more when I'm asleep
Because in my peaceful slumber
I am beautiful
Yet I remain unaware of the fact.
But I would like to clarify for you
The true meaning behind your words
And the only sentiment I can understand
From what you wrote that night
And what you told the world.
You said you love me more when I'm asleep
But you only love me more
In my rest
So peaceful and pure
Because I cease to exist.
In my quiet unconsciousness
I am an empty shell
You are blind to the workings of my brain
Reminded only of the doll that exists outside of me.
You mould me into all of your fantasies
Assigning characteristics to a lifeless body
You create new people in my image
New women
New lovers
A new me
A perfect me
A version of myself I could never truly be
Because my brain is my own
And I cannot read yours
I will not shape my person to your needs.
So please don't ever say it again
That you love me more when I'm asleep
That I look more beautiful lifeless
Than when my brain is running
Than when my life shines through my eyes
And my heart sings from my lungs
Don't ever say again
That my only beauty rests
In my nescience
Because all I hear
Is that you don't love me at all
And I don't want this to end

Yet.