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Have you ever written about love
until your eyelids were heavy
and tears drip dropped
from your eyes,
when clearly you knew
you had awakened the beast
that lies inside you,
deep and wide.

This is when I hear the world begin
to count the ways
it can swing
against my pride.  
When I want to hear you say
I am beautiful
wipe away
the tears I cry.

I could proclaim that roses
slide over all of my shadows
and hold me close
until I no longer want
to be anywhere else.  
Say farewell
to these lines I write,
put them on a shelf.

Yet still, I write of the love I know,
day by day, on paper
until the ink of my soul
becomes a gentle scent
which fades into each page.
Again I wake the beast
inside of my heart's cage.
Each time you turn and walk away
I find myself searching
for the sunny days
I know
once ran through my veins.  
Until I wish
I could dip my fingers
into the places
where your teeth bit into my heart
once again.

I think of all those conversations
where I believed
that every shadow
lying on the floor
made our lives exciting.  
Like an ocean of wine
one drinks within a dream
full of memories,
capturing all
we have been fighting.

Reality seems to lie inside
everything I forget
about loving you
when it blends inside my heart
then hides.
And I can't tell
what is black or white
each time you walk away
and leave me feeling
only........
gray inside.
 Feb 2012 TinaMarie
CG Abenis
Smile masks his face
when actually
inside
he is
dying.
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