Psychosomatic Illness  


1.  Of or relating to a disorder having physical symptoms but originating from mental or emotional causes.
2.  Relating to or concerned with the influence of the mind on the body, and the body on the mind, especially with respect to disease

a.k.a. thinking I am mentally sick can actually make me become mentally and physically sick.

is this what has been happening this whole time..

cried so much last night
over 2 hours
in my room.
lips quivering trying to stop it
closing my eyes
trying soo hard.
sister walks in
starts talking
I do one shake of the head and there it is..
the tears.
the tears that have been held in for too long
the tears that started for no reason
trickling down my face
forcing myself to smile
makes it worse
people saying "I hope you feel better"
makes it worse
so close to balling my eyes out in 2 of
my classes
today
held it all in.
just keep telling myself
"Keep it in.."
but
Its okay to not be okay
-te

why did saying I was getting better
make me feel so
happy?
Im not getting better.
I think im getting worse.
maybe saying it made me believe I was
but im not
someone
please
help

I
am
getting
better!


Hallelujah!

maybe I talk to guys more then girls
because
they actually listen
they are sweet-talkers and know how to
turn my frown upside down
they're good listeners and help everything.
and I just
don't
want
my 'girl'friends
to
**worry..

parents don't understand what society is like nowadays.
the hypocrites
the back stabbers
the way people treat each other is horrible
I actually want to cry thinking about it all
please
don't
make
me
go!

on  Wednesday I have to go to school for pre-registration
I just want to
shoot myself
seeing all those people again.
happy smiles on their faces
having to face those certain people I happily avoided all summer
I find out whos in my classes
I find out who I will be sitting next to while being taught a lesson
school really brings me stress
just knowing I have to deal with all the judgement all over again is torture
it wouldn't be so bad if there was no one there
this generation is horrible
criticising everything you do!
no wonder some people avoid going to school some mornings.
I would too.