what are some of your skills?
besides
hurting those who
love me
I'm exceptionally good at
not
eating
for extended
periods of time
and have
plenty of experience
with avoiding
responsibilities

why do you want to work with us?
so I
can continue
living
while wishing
I were dead?
so I
can have money
to buy
food
I won't eat
games
I won't enjoy
clothes
I'll never wear?
so I can
buy
indie authors
books
and make myself
broke
by supporting their work

why should Gigantic Corporation Inc. hire you?
you shouldn't
I'll be late
frequently
and
probably
slack off
every time
I get the chance
but please
hire me?
I need
money
and something
to do
sleeping
in bed all day
only
anchors
my depression

what's your least favorite part of each day, and why?*
what kind
of ******* question
is this?
is this a joke?
my least favorite part
of each day
is
waking up
going to sleep
and the time
in between

how about
I ask you
a question?
what's the excuse
you tell yourself
every day
to make yourself
feel human?
do you
make
a persona
create
who you are
a fake
personality
formed out of
tv shows
and
books you've read
other people's
traits
that you admire
and think
would make you
admired
by others?
or are you
exactly
who you are?

what's
YOUR
least favorite part
of each day and why?
is it lying
to your wife
when you tell her
that you love her?
is it lying
to your children
telling them
that it will get better?

or is it
getting up in the morning
to go to work
to the same
******
job
that you're stuck in
but you have to
do it
because you have
a family
to support
necessities
to purchase
prostitutes
to buy?

I feel like your questions
are mocking me.
I feel like you're
probably
a pretentious
****

anyways,
I'm looking forward
to working
for your company
I will be
a positive
(-ha!)
and motivated
(-too funny!)
staff member
to bring
to the team
I hope you
will give me
this
opportunity

promise
I won't
let you
down