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Aug 2021 · 208
Thomas Esparza Aug 2021
The rage I have inside.
It's wants to come out, I want to let it out.
I keep it bottled up, and a bottle keeps me up.
If there were a way I could make this rage go away.
Keeping the rage at bay, I go day to day
Fore if this rage were to come out.
There would be no way out.
Out of the way.
The rage takes way.
Lost in the rage, no help came my way.
May there be a tomorrow, let the rage be caged.
I just go day by day, keeping the rage at bay.
Just words, I put down
Aug 2019 · 216
Thomas Esparza Aug 2019
If today was your last day, would you have said all the things you needed to say.
If you knew that tomorrow was your last day, could you say everything that needed to be said.
Did you make your parents proud.
Did you marry the love of your life.
Do your children know you're proud of them.

Life threw you a curve ball.
Did you swing for the fences, or back out of the batters box.
When your time on this Earth expires, and you go home to be with God.
Can you say you lived your best life.
It's a challenge, it doesn't come with a manual.
It will beat you down, and lift you up.
Life, live it to the fullest.
I've had writers block for a few years
Nov 2016 · 401
Thomas Esparza Nov 2016
I feel down, just want to be alone
Going nowhere, stuck in a rut
Lifes going good, I just can't be happy
The ***** not helping, tired I need rest
Sleep is a challenge, no comfort there
Work is a struggle, I hate it there
Just walk away, away to where
There is no place to go
Life is heavy, i'm to weak to bare
Stare into la la land
Just going through the motions
Day by day further down I go
How far down will I go
Far enough to know, this will pass
Just burned out, you thought I was in dispair
Down further I shall not go
Sep 2016 · 744
Only Time
Thomas Esparza Sep 2016
As time goes by
We grow older, wiser
Learning from mistakes past
Time never slowing
Clock always turning
Seasons ever changing
I think of my life
Have I lived up to my potential
Accomplished all I wanted
I have not
There has been no love of my life
This lonely life i've lived
Let down so many times
Was blessed to have kids
A pain in my side
Although I wouldn't change it for the world
Had fun at times, I did
But to no avail
Is there still time to change this life I live
Only time will tell
Credits to Karina Norris-Veirs for helping me with this one
Aug 2016 · 905
Thomas Esparza Aug 2016
My day begins before the sun comes up
It usually ends after the sun has gone down
Theres times when the sun rises again
My day still going
Over worked and under payed and no time off
8 days aweek was a great Beetles song
It's not so great living it
Why do I work all these hours and all these days
I don't know how to do anything else
To old to start over to many bills to pay
I feel like Rhianna all she does is Work,Work,Work,Work,Work
Tired I stay, the days all seem the same
Are there actually 7 different days of the week
Mine all seem like they never end
One day i'll get a break
The day I break
Aug 2016 · 330
Tonight I Lie Awake
Thomas Esparza Aug 2016
Tonight I lie awake thinking of you
You done me wrong, for so long
You were young, I was dumb
How could I think you would love me true
I lie awake thinking back
To times of fun and times of not
Our daughter barely born, so brand new
She was taken to young, we had to mourn
For her life barely begun and to end so soon
Our love grew apart and now we're torn
You live your new life, never looking back
I live my life always wondering what could have been
Your new life so happy and full
Never knowing how much pain I go through
I think back to days we shared, times of old
I lie awake and think of you
Never knowing why you came and went
I never deserved someone as beautiful as you
But I never deserved to be left with no excuse
I lie wake always thinking of you
Jul 2016 · 513
Thomas Esparza Jul 2016
Today was a day
A day like any other
I came across an old picture today
Her and I
The days we shared, the love we had
Today is a day,I still find myself not over you Our love would not last, try but fail
Today is a day, a day that must pass
I ask why today
The memories come back
Where would we be today if our love had not failed.
I will not know.
For today is just a day.
Feb 2016 · 259
Thomas Esparza Feb 2016
Lonely I have been
Lonely I will ever be
I have been lonely for so long
Lonely is my way of life
I sit alone in my chair dreaming of a girl so fare
Only to awake, alone with who I am
One day true love will find me
Setting me free from this loneliness
As for now
Lonely I am, and lonely I shall be
Jan 2016 · 855
Thomas Esparza Jan 2016
The way she makes me feel
When she lays her head in my lap
The way I caress her face as I gaze in those eyes
How I run my hands through her hair
We kiss like we 're in love
Yet we are not
Merely playing a game
A game were only fools rush in
I don't want to be the fool rushing in
Why cant we just be fools in love
Stop fighting the urges
Let happiness embrace you
Time to mend this broken heart
Jan 2016 · 385
The Wind
Thomas Esparza Jan 2016
The wind always blowing.
North, South, East, and West.
The wind never calm.
Always changing.
Change the way I feel.
The way I feel for her.
Wind blow these feelings out of my heart.
For I know she could never love me.
The wind ever changing.
Change the way she feels.
Jan 2016 · 469
A Beautiful Women
Thomas Esparza Jan 2016
A beautiful women may never know.
Know how beautiful she is.
She's never been told she's beautiful.
Day by day her beauty goes unnoticed.
To see, and to be blind of her own beauty.
This shall happen no more.
I must let her know.
Let her know she's beautiful.
So she can see her beauty.
The beauty I see.
Dec 2015 · 344
She Wants Me
Thomas Esparza Dec 2015
She wants me
Yet she loves another
She wants me, yet
Her past won't let her

I chase her
Trying to show her
The past is the past
We cant change what was then

She chooses to let the past keep her distanced
I can only hope she see's
The past only holds memories of what was

She wants me
Will she see through the past
To let herself move on
Or shall whats in the past keep her from me.
Oct 2015 · 3.0k
Behind The Mask
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
I hide my face from the world I know.
I wear a mask, a mask to hide.
A mask to hide who I really am.
The mask that hides the face .
The face of a depressed man all alone.
My mask keeps all my insecurities hidden.
Behind my mask I am everyones friend.
By masking my emotions no one gets hurt.

If I were to not wear my mask.
Would people accept me, for me.
Lonely and meak
Or would they only feel sorry for me.
If only I had the courage to take off my mask.
Show everyone who I am.

My mask keeps things at peace.
Keeps the inner me.
From ruiningĀ  the outter me
If I was to take off this mask who would I be.
Would you know me. Would you like to get to know me.
Let me take off my mask.
We shall see.
Oct 2015 · 245
Time Will Heal
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Although your heart aches now.
Know that in time, time heals all wounds.
You may feel that your world is ending and
your heart needs mending.
Time will mend this heartache of yours.
Stay strong & move forward, life will go on.
Along the way your gonna say .
What must I do to make this pain go away.
I say to you time heals all wounds.
Let time take care of you.
Oct 2015 · 215
The Thoughts In My Mind
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
It's the thoughts in my mind.
Which my hearts locked behind.
Locked behind my thoughts my heart stays in a bind.
Fore when the stars fall.
My thoughts fall with them.
I carry these thoughts of you.
So as to never forget.
Plenty a years gone by.
These thoughts of you stay fresh on my mind
I must find, find the time
To share with you these thoughts of mine

One day you'll know, one day I will show, these thoughts in my mind
Oct 2015 · 4.0k
There Are Good Men
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Women are always saying, why are there no good men out there anymore?
I say there are plenty of good men out there.
Good men with great qualities.
Might not look like Brad Pitt but strong enough to never quit.
You can't wait for a George Clooney you may go ******.

You chose to go out on a date with that handsome man.
Who drives the fancy car and wears that fancy watch.
That handsome man wined you and dined you.
Took you back to his place where you ended up staying late.
You left in the early morning hour, heading home for a shower.
A few days have gone by, that handsome man never calls.
You're feeling sad and rejected, thats what handsome men do.

A good man would not have rejected you.
A good man who drives an old pickup truck.
Who worries when the rents do.
A good man working to make ends meet would sweep you off your feet.
Good men aren't hard to find.
Just open your eyes and you just might find.
That there are a few good men out there.
Thanks to Karina Veirs for the grammer help.
Oct 2015 · 690
A Young Marine
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
A young Marine is called to duty.
A young Marine is called upon.
To defend his country.
Defend his country in a far off land.
Al Queda walks among'st this land.
Be strong young Marine.
God has your hand.
In a far off land.
A young Marine stands.
Oct 2015 · 465
The Box
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
As I sit in this box all alone.
I ponder, whats outside this box?
Is there a great big world?
Is there a place for me in that world?
Outside this box I must go.
Because in this box I am alone.
In order to see what this great big world will offer me.
First I must flee.
Away I must go.
Leaving this box I call home.
Oct 2015 · 207
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
I must free myself of all this pain.
Pain no one can see.
Will I drown in this bottle?
Or shall I cut with a knife.
Will these pills take away my pain?
I'll take ten and see.
I awake to see another day.
Another day of pain I must bare.
I'll try again.
Can anyone HELP!
For anyone who feels this way. There is help out there.
Oct 2015 · 262
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
As the sun rises pushing out the night.
What will the day bring.
Will it bring new light to my ever fading heart.
Will the sun shine on a new love.
A new love for my faded heart.
As the day sets on I ponder.
Where would'st this new love come.
Or whilst she come at all.
For as the day fades to night.
I must await another daybreak
Oct 2015 · 827
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
I use to be so young and free.
Till Uncle Sam got a hold of me.
He made me a lean, mean, killing machine.
So I could be shipped off to war.
To protect where the eagles soar.
I did my tours.
Thinking nothing more.
Till night when all I see is war.
I use to be so young and free.
Please help me rid this PTSD
To all my fellow military brethren out there suffering.
Oct 2015 · 357
The Bully
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Don't be scared.
Don't be shy.
Don't be ashamed.
Don't be somebody your not.
The bully wants you to feel that way.
The bully is strong.
Yet he is weak.
He needs to be violent.
To hide his own weakness.
He must try and shame you.
Only to mask his own shame.
Stand tall to the bully.
Be brave when you want to be weak.
You are who you are.
Bullying is weak.
To anyone that has ever been bullied
Oct 2015 · 616
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
We all have our own.
Lurking inside.
Waiting for weakness.
The demon wants weakness.
So it may creep in.
Demonizing us.
To the point, in we give.
Fight the demon inside.
Fight the urges.
The feelings of worthlessness.
Self doubt.
The fears of lonelyness.
Fight the bottle.
The needle.
Put down that knife.
Fight the demon till there is no more to fight.
Fight cause you,re more.
Thanks to Karina Veirs for the helpful changes.
Oct 2015 · 203
No Other
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Fore as long as the sun still rises.
There will be hope.
Hope that i'll find her.
Find her wanting me.
Needing me.
Me needing her.
Us needing each other.
Two hearts in one.
There could be no other.
As long as the sun shall rise.
I will want no other.
Oct 2015 · 196
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
A heart breaking makes no sound.
Nor can be seen.
Only I can feel the pain.
The pain you've put in me.
It's only a pain I can bare.
I must bare this pain.
Till a new love calls.
Calling to put the pieces of my broken heart together again.
So that I may love once more.
Fore one day my heart will not be broke.
Oct 2015 · 174
The One
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Waiting for the one
The one that will make my life complete
The one who will make my heart breathe new life
The one to bring meaning in my life
The one that needs me in her life
The one that I can make my wife
For one day I will find the one.
Oct 2015 · 258
Summer Rose
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
Beautiful as a summers rose.
Poisonous as poison ivy.
Her love like a never ending summers night.
She loves you when you need it.
She loves you when you don't.
Yet I could not keep my summer rose.
Fore she has left with the summer.
Wilted away.
Will she return in the spring.
My heart can only hope.
Summer rose let spring bring you back to me.
Oct 2015 · 263
The One You Let Get Way
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
There will never be another.
No one can compare to the brilliance & beauty she held.
No one will ever be able to compare to the one you let get away.
There will never be another, who makes you feel the way she did.
The way your heart pounded everytime you saw her beautiful face.
They way your knees got weak when she was near.
The way she made you feel entirely.
There will never be another.
The one you let get away.
Oct 2015 · 1.1k
She Needs to Know
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
She needs to know how much she means to me
She needs to know how much I care
She needs to know the love I have for her
A love that will never show weakness in her time of need
A love that will show her i'll be there.
There for all the little things and the not so little things
She needs to know,  i'll always be there
She needs to know
Made some revisions. Hope everyone still likes it.
Oct 2015 · 217
Thomas Esparza Oct 2015
As the sun rises in the morning
I awake to find myself all alone
If only I had someone, someone to hold
Someone to care for
Someone to spend the rest of my life with
If only I had that certain someone
That someone to call my own
To wake in the morning
Not being alone

— The End —