In the sacred palace of our dreams
the only place we often meet
the Snow is called
Lust
the vicious Tiger you call
Trust
where only he can love her
where only she can mutter
where by dark twinkling light
she screams and moans in white

her light is a bright and glowing fire
the only thing she knows, desire

older hands than yours may catch fire
a canary in a cage sings of desire

You controlled me,
For at least eight months.
You made my life hell,
When everyone was trying to fix it.
I blamed myself,
Hell, I still do.
You are a psychopath,
I tried to fix you.
Obviously I couldn't,
Now I live with this Anxiety.
I live in constant fear.
I never thought someone,
Would do this.
Someone would treat me so bad.
You're just like my father.
I guess I couldn't help you.
I should have helped myself first.

Does your skin feel as if it is on fire?
I know mine does.
Can we compare burns, i'd like to share mine with you but can you obligate
my best interest.

Tell me everything, tell me everything you know.

Can we see what we are made of from blank scars? That our arms
are weighted to hold.

Are we made of flesh or bone? Or are we simply made of flint and steel
with a heart cast in tinder. That can be lit so easily with the slightest
emotions of distress.

Tell me your stories, as we compare all our catastrophes.

This one
That one
This time
That time

Tonight we are pushing aside all the stress as the world is ignited
in the ashes of charred coals.
The voice in your head, that you come to for comfort slowly breathing on the open ash
reigniting the pain.

Show me your bruises, hiding on the hardening concrete you call skin.
Everyone holds them, we just don't know how they got them.
we don't know who put them there
or why.

Tell me everything. Tell me everything they know.

Do you feel the burning growing and growing crawling out from underneath your eyes
letting tides of tears flow. They say you will feel better if you take this pill

you think you will be normal if you take this pill.
you think you will be accepted if you take this pill.
you think this pill is an exit.
an exit at 3am in the morning when you found out this pill does nothing
but transcend past your mind, portraying a self fixed image in the mirror.

The door is locked
The ringing wont stop
Screaming, but that whisper that same whisper that told you to do it
is gone.

-Wynterz Phyer

She sits at the dinner table
Flattened lips
Tightly-****** hands
Neutral face
She is disgusted
As she lifts the spoon to her mouth
Immediate remorse fills her body as the taste buds get the first feel of the warm food
She is disgusted
As she continues to eat, she can see the food  turning into fat traveling to her cheeks
and to her jaw and to her arms and to her shoulders and to her chest and to her stomach
covering the bones that she wants to pierce through her skin
She can see it travel to her thighs, largening in size, making them touch, covering the huge gap that she wants situated in the middle
She is disgusted
She gets paler and paler with every chew and every swallow
And so to escape this torture, she lies and tells her uncle and aunt that her stomach is upset
and she feels sick
But she wasn't lying
Because her stomach was truly upset because it did not want to be filled
It wanted to stay tiny
It wanted to stay beautiful
It wanted to be more beautiful
She goes straight to the bathroom and locks the door
Washes her hands before sticking ******* down her throat
Removes them once she feels the disgust rising through her esophagus
Closes her eyes as her upset stomach throws away everything unwanted
She is disgusted
She secures the lock in her bedroom
Thinking maybe it will keep the demons away
Or at least long enough for a second of sanity
But they are too gruesomely evil because the disgust that was once in her throat has now traveled to her wrists
She criticizes how her wrist bone isn't showing enough
Disgust travels to her chest
how her ribs aren't piercing enough
Disgust travels to her hips
how her hip bones aren't showing enough
Disgust travels to her thighs
how the space between isn't big enough
Disgust travels to her fingertips
Tension building up in her palms
The demons' silence turn into screams
She gives in
Picks up the knife
and writes an new poem on her body
I
am
*disgusted

Forever, you said.
One word injected into my skin
making its way through my veins
tatted into my brain
and carved onto my heart.

And I believed you.

Every fiber in my body succumbed to the idea of your forever.
Even when you passed by and wouldn't even spare me as so much of a glance,

I grasped on your forever.

Even when I sleep, expecting to see myself wrapped up securely in your arms the next morning but instead waking up to the bed made neatly by your side
and I realize that you weren't even really with me the night before
or all the nights before that.
You were merely a body when I was soul, heart, and mind when I was with you.

I held on to that string of 7 letters
F-O-R-E-V-E-R
Strongly gripping the thin thread but gentle enough
because I was afraid that the thread will snap
and our forever will go back to being a jumble of letters
merely holding their place in the alphabet line.

I realized how you treat forever like it was spit from your mouth.
A never-ending supply that you can use as long as breath passes through your cells.
Forever, for you, was like rain droplets,
starting high up in the air, competing with other drops to get through
only to fall and
come shattering on the ground.

The cloth
we collected the stars with
you now use to wipe someone else's tears.
The paper
where we dripped our blood in
you now use to write a new story on.
The fingers
that used to set my skin ablaze upon every touch
you now use to trace someone else's shape.
The lips
that you used to set me on fire with
you now use to cloth someone else with
new hopes,
new dreams,
new promises.

I just wanted for you to hold me long enough so your touch may freeze upon my skin.
The memory of your hands on my body to last me forever.

But forever
was too much to ask.

-t.a.