everything i gave up on lurks around me,
final stutters and tarnished metal.
lather rinse repeat
and fly on your broken bird bones
towards written thunder
and what used to be everything.
what i want to tell you
is like feathers in my hair
and fake rainbow smiles.
the drawer is full of
plastic angels.

i gave up.

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.
I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.
I threw your sh*t into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.
I crashed my car into the bridge.
I don't care, I love it.
I don't care, I love it, I love it.
I don't care, I love it. I don't care.

You are like
the smoke left
on my clothes
after a bonfire

summer’s salty sweet
taste still sticky on
warm skin

you-
are the last breath
of autumn sunset
so pink
once orange
slow to disappear
off the horizon

you’re winter’s
chilly breath
all the way to
the center of
my feeble heart

thump thump thump
like the springtime
again and again

pierce me with your sweet
green dagger

dragonfly wings
unnatural beauty

you my
slow season
breath

my wanton
unforgetting

8 month
long lost
lullaby

sweet girl
how I missed you

late summer
solstace

soul sweeper
secret
goodnight

In my happiest moments I think of you,
To share my world with you,
On my sad days I want to protect you from the world,
On your victories I want to make you feel how special you are,
Every day when I wake up I want to tell you how much I love you,
Cherish how I am yours,
Even when you are never mine.

Do people really enjoy feeling like this?
I would like these memories to dry with the kisses you left on my neck,
But my skin is starting to absorb them.
I would appreciate it if these feelings would float away with the breath you blew in my ear,
But I would never be so lucky.
You left butterflies in my tummy,
I can feel them starting to rot.