you soften me
with calm
you smooth my roughness
with ease

heal me,
love

our gazes
meet
and
my smile,
sleek shy grin
is the beaming
of my heart
that cannot be contained

i'm not sure
what
you were expecting
but
you got
me

i'm waiting
for you to slow down
this seems to cause
a torrential downpour
persistent
in strength
defying
my wish

you give me
everything i need
to be free

on your last day
the sun was shining
and big white clouds ran across the sky

someone held you tight
and told you, "i love you"
admired you
and cherished you

on your last day
all of your love poured out

you inspired
and you soared
you lived
and you died

your love remains
always

sometimes
when i look back to you
i am astonished
with how your eyes
meet mine
paralyze me
with this look
that words cannot describe

while it's true
you inspired
my open eyes

from here
my pursuit of freedom
has to be
just for me

when you look at me
i become
a shooting star
sailing across the sky
soaring
away
spreading our light
everywhere

time taken
exploring the newness
of each other
turns into
settling into
the awe
and wonder
of us

hope
disappointment
and hope again
always hope again

each time i find the strength
to release this stress
it comes back to grip me
even tighter

every ball
i've tossed in the air
is on its way
back down

this dream life
is starting to blend in
with my real life

you took my screaming heart
into your gentle hands
and then
all was quiet

i have to be careful
so you don't think
i'm too broken

people are starting to notice
our hidden love

what are you going to say
when
she finds out?

hope lost now
is strength
for the future

i know you
too well now
to pretend
that you're a stranger
my eyes tell
the whole truth

i need to shake this hate
so my children don't see it
in my eyes

sometimes
this sadness is so deep
i could just lie back
and let it take me

you're like..
the opposite of love
in human form

i'm tired
of feeling guilt
for what comes naturally

my blooms
never reach the sun
because
you crush each one

beautiful you
how powerful you make me feel
how loved
and how special

our existence
right now
makes me whole
makes me free

renewing love
like a fountain
overflowing
over
and over

all the way up
and
all the way back down
again
and again

echo love
fades
repeats
comforts
disappears

this calm
this quiet universe
we created
together

it can only be ours
it's only for us

we always meet
in the same spot
in my dreams

convincing you
to love me
also
convincing myself
that
I deserve it

sleep deeply
let our love
sink in

the rhythm
of peaceful breathing
this calm
this solace
we cultivated
together

you have
no power
over me now
or ever

belief
makes it
real

2 empty glasses
left on the table
remnants
of a moment
not too far past

i know why
you came back
you transparent
beautiful
stupid
boy

what's the rush, baby?
i was here before
i will
be here always

am i real
without my voice?

surrounded by warmth
a familiar feeling
lulls me into
defeat

all of the people
buzzing
the loneliness
deafening

i give to you
what's left of me
and what you give back
is a newer,
golden
me

can you just
pour into me
the things i need
effortlessly
without hesitation
give me
all of you

sometimes
it seems easier
alone
but always
it feels better
with you

i'm looking
at this empty chair
with my heart's wish
and true desire
to see you there

my disgust
distaste for you
eclipses
everything else

toxic blood
toxic breath
toxic you
toxic death

songs and memories
entwined
old,
new again
you,
and me again