But you, you’ve hurt me, pretty badly. But for the first time, I don’t want to forget, I want to remember, everything. All memory I can possibly remember when I’m with you. Every sequence, every detail, every thing. But I know my brain can’t do that. But my heart remembers how it feels. How happy, how sad, how afraid, how shocked, everything.
I don’t want to forget anything, I don’t want to forget you. For that little time you shared with me, I never felt something could feel so real.
The time I’ve spent with you was the best time of my life. I was being spontaneous. I was me. You’ve let me be me. No one has ever let me be me, but you. I’ve always been the person they want me to be. But this time with you, I am who I am. The one I’ve always wanted to be.
I’m used of being alone, I like being alone because no one can hurt me. No one can stop me for being me because I’m all alone by myself. But you came into my life. I never knew I could share myself to someone and still be whole.
From the previous relationships I've had, I’m used to be the one being chased, the one who loves the less, the one in control. But this time with you, I’m totally out of control. It feels so good to be influenced and be controlled by someone. The suspense, the thrill, that gives me nervousness, it makes me want to be less in control.
I am in control of my life, the way I see, I think and feel but with you, I’m willing to give up that control. I’m so tired of trying to be in control of my life, and I wanted you so badly that I trusted you, to take control of me. To own me. But you never did.
June 2, 2016