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Insults do not hurt a woman who spends her time building walls—not fragile walls, not walls of fear, but walls forged from experience, patience, and iron resolve.

These walls are not meant to cage me; they are meant to shield me, to protect the spaces that are mine alone. To penetrate them requires more than words, more than empty threats, more than the shallow venom of a lapdog.

And you, honey… you are just that. A lapdog, kneeling at my mercy, begging for entrance you have neither earned nor deserved. You tremble in the shadow of my patience, and yet, you call it weakness.

Do not mistake my restraint for fragility. Do not assume that my silence is submission. I hear your whispers. I see your attempts. I feel your claws scratching at the gates, but you will not pass.

I do not welcome dog-biting attitudes, pawing, snapping insults, or claws of envy. I do not bend for theatrics. I do not bend for attention. My walls are high, my ground is firm, my gaze unflinching.

Every insult you lob at me, every mockery you think sharp, ricochets back to you, hollow and impotent. It is a noise in the wind, a shadow on stone. You have nothing to pierce me.

And yet, you persist. You think kneeling and whining, whining for recognition or forgiveness or entry, is cleverness. Sweetheart, cleverness is earned. Respect is earned. Not begged. Not begged from walls you cannot scale.

I have lived long enough to know the value of patience. I have fought long enough to know the power of restraint. And I have built long enough to know that those who try to tear walls down with words alone are already lost.

You do not frighten me. You do not tempt me. You do not matter beyond the amusement of observing your futile struggles. Your insults, like your ego, are a paper-thin veil over the hollowness you carry.

Every attempt to claw inside, every feeble growl of indignation, reminds me of the distance you must travel, the depth of strength you lack. I am not your playground. I am not your spectacle. I am not your conquest.

Do you feel clever when you bite, when you bark, when you think your words could wound? You mistake your venom for power. You mistake your envy for influence. You mistake your begging for strategy.

But walls do not bend for fools. Gates do not open for pawns. Respect is not purchased with groveling, nor loyalty won with empty snarls. And you, poor creature, have brought none of these.

Every hiss, every half-hearted barb, every shadow of a threat—insignificant. I sip my patience as you flounder. I count the steps of your climb, knowing full well that the summit is unreachable.

The strength of a woman is not in submission. It is not in rage alone. It is in knowing her ground, in holding her boundaries, in standing unbroken while others writhe in desire for access.

And I, standing behind walls built of foresight and courage, watch you tremble at the gates you were never meant to cross. You are not my equal. You are not my threat. You are merely noise in my ordered world.

Do you feel the sting of your own impotence? That even your insults, aimed with intent to harm, land as nothing but feathers against armor? That even your hunger, your desire to breach, is impotent against the fortresses of self?

You are here, begging, groveling, offering allegiance and venom alike. And yet, I remain unmoved, serene, untouchable in my domain. You are small. I am infinite.

Dog-biting attitudes have no place here. Insults are irrelevant. Your shadow cannot darken my sun. Your growls cannot crack my foundation. And your pleas cannot compel me to lower my gates.

I am the keeper of my own walls, the architect of my own strength, the sovereign of my own domain. And you, kneeling, begging, whining—you are merely a spectator, caught in the gravity of my power.

Insults do not hurt me. Venom does not sway me. Begging does not bend me. You are here, yet invisible. You are loud, yet unheard. And the irony is exquisite, the lesson inevitable: strength cannot be bargained with, walls cannot be breached by folly, and mercy is never owed.
I know...

You're just joking around, fooling everyone around us that we were close, but nah, you're just actually really mad at me.

You know, everyone knows you now. I never did tell anyone about it. Your actions speaks for itself. Your actions were exposed. Not my words against yours. Only, purely yours.

You revealed yourself from the crowd. Millions of judgment coming from them. Judgment and critiques is in the eye of the beholder, but exclude me out. I am not one to judge, for I do not belong in their circle.

You are a laughingstock, a weakling. The talk of the town. You earned the fame in the headlines—breaking news.

I just gave you the taste of your own medicine. But I didn't do all the work. I didn't acted upon about it. Only Karma and God did the rest.

Now, I hope you learned your lesson. If not, history will repeat itself for you. Or else, you will experience a painful grave torture.

Smash your face repeatedly until you give up. The Devil is not my accomplice, only God is. Face yourself in the mirror, for you to know who The Devil's accomplice is—and that is YOU.

Do I have to spell it out for you? Nope. No need.  What you caused me is always never enough.  But I was kind enough to forget it all. I was genuine enough to forgive you despite all of the mistakes you did and the damage that has been already done.

Give me time, and I will forgive you fully. But, I guarantee you, I will no longer swallow my pride to fix and mend the relationship you broke right from the start.
Who am I to not forgive you, right?
I could forgive you. I can, if I wanted to.
But that doesn’t mean I can still accept you.
Acceptance is a different thing.
And the damage… the damage has already been done.

You made your choice.
And so did I.
I chose to stand my ground.
To protect myself.
To honor my own truth.

Don’t expect things to go back to the way they were.
Not after everything that happened.
Not after every word, every action, every betrayal.
Time cannot erase it.
Distance cannot fix it.

Don’t forget—it was you who started this.
The first move, the first doubt, the first false accusation.
It was you who set the stage for chaos.
It was you who broke the trust we once had.
And it all came crashing down because of that.

You chose to believe your son.
Without even listening to us.
Without pausing, without asking, without considering.
You took his word as gospel.
Even though we had proof.

I had proof. Solid, irrefutable, clear as daylight.
But he had nothing.
Nothing to prove that I did what he accused me of.
Yet your mind was made up.
Your heart decided already.

My trust is gone.
Gone in pieces.
Shattered like glass underfoot.
And no apology, no explanation, no promise, can put it back together.
Not after this.

You had your doubts.
I had mine.
But ours were never equal.
You acted on his word alone.
You acted without patience. Without reason.

I can forgive you.
Truly. I can.
Because holding onto anger is poison.
Because releasing it frees me.
Because I refuse to carry that weight forever.

But don’t think forgiveness means a second chance.
Don’t think it means I’m waiting for you.
Don’t think it means I will open my door again.
Because I won’t.
Not now. Not ever.

You crossed a line that cannot be uncrossed.
You let bias outweigh truth.
You let emotion blind you to reality.
And I cannot walk back into a world where that is possible.
Not with you.

I can forgive you, but I cannot forget.
I can forgive you, but I cannot trust.
I can forgive you, but I will not return to your orbit.
You may hope for reconciliation.
But hope is a luxury you no longer have with me.

I am done with explaining.
Done with defending.
Done with proving.
You chose your side.
And I chose mine.

We will not go back.
The bridge is burned.
The water beneath it is black.
And there is no crossing back.
Not for us.

So forgive me if I sound harsh.
Forgive me if my words sting.
But they are the truth.
And truth cannot be softened without losing its weight.

I can forgive you, yes.
But do not come back.
Do not think you can walk in as if nothing happened.
Do not imagine I will take you in.
Because I won’t.

I can forgive.
I have.
But acceptance? That is a door I will never reopen.
And trust? That is a treasure you destroyed.
I cannot, I will not, I do not.
You know what I’ve noticed?
Sometimes, the people who know you best… are the ones who hurt you first.
They’re the ones who laugh when you stumble,
who roll their eyes when you struggle,
who judge you like they’ve been appointed as some kind of moral jury over your life.

And it’s strange, isn’t it?
Because you’d think they’d be the ones to understand.
They’ve seen where you’ve come from,
they’ve watched you fight battles they couldn’t survive,
they know the weight you’ve carried—
and yet, they’re the first to tear you down.

Why is it…
that when life trips us,
when we’re down in the dirt,
there’s always someone watching—
not to help,
but to laugh?

It’s almost like they’ve been waiting for it.
Like our struggle is their entertainment.
They see our pain not as something human,
but as a spectacle.
A punchline.
A free show to boost their mood for the day.

You lose a job—
they snicker.
You fail a project—
they smirk.
You fall apart in public—
and suddenly, you’re the hottest topic in their group chat.

What is it about other people’s misfortunes
that makes some feel powerful?
Is it because they’re afraid of their own failures?
So they laugh at yours,
thinking it’ll keep the spotlight off them?
Is it because they can’t stand to see someone rise—
so when you stumble,
it feels like proof they were right to doubt you?

And sometimes… it’s even people we’ve laughed with,
shared meals with,
trusted with our stories.
You’d think they’d be the first to pull you back up.
But no—
they’re the ones who spread the story,
add exaggerations,
make sure everyone knows not just that you fell…
but how “hilarious” it looked.

Meanwhile, strangers—
people who don’t know your name,
don’t know your history,
don’t owe you a single thing—
reach out.
They offer help,
kindness,
a word of encouragement… without conditions, without keeping score.
It’s almost embarrassing,
realizing a stranger can treat you better than the ones you grew up with.

And maybe it’s because strangers meet you in the moment.
They see your need, not your past.
They don’t measure your worth by your mistakes,
or weigh your request against the gossip they’ve heard.
They just… help.

Proverbs 24:17 warns us:
“Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice.”
But these people?
They rejoice, alright—
not just in their hearts, but out loud,
like your hardship is a festival.

What they don’t realize is this:
misfortune is a visitor that knocks on every door.
Today, it’s mine.
Tomorrow… it could be theirs.
And when that day comes,
when the ground disappears under their feet,
they’ll remember how it felt to be laughed at—
how the echoes of mockery sting louder than silence.

So I’ve stopped wasting my energy trying to explain my pain
to those who turn it into comedy.
Because one day,
life will give them a stage of their own.
And when they finally taste the bitterness they once served so freely…
no one will be laughing.
I will love you in every lifetime
I will find you when we were apart from each other
I survived the battle,  
but this was no ordinary war.  
A battle of wits—  
with questions sharp as bullets,  
fired straight at me.

Yesterday was my breaking point,  
faced with choices I had to justify.  
Weighing each option, reasoning every path—  
I can only hope I chose the right one.

Crying was the last thing on my mind.  
I faced this battle with bullets of doubt ricocheting in my head,  
but I stood my ground,  
answering exactly as I intended.
"We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are"
-Max Depree
Lights low. A figure sits on the edge of a bed, voice soft, breaking, like glass under pressure.

Support.
It’s just a seven-letter word, right?
But to me… it feels like a hundred.
Each letter soaked in the weight of all the times I needed comfort
and got correction instead.

You say you support me.
But scolding came first.
Nagging came first.
The yap-yap-yap before I could even breathe.

Sometimes… I don’t feel it at all.
Because your actions—
they don’t match your words.

You said, “I’m here.”
But you weren’t.
Not really.
You were there to judge.
There to lecture.
There to remind me of everything I wasn’t.

And maybe that’s the truth people don’t like to say out loud—
Parents don’t really know their children.
Not the real version.
Not the bleeding, breaking, buried parts.

You think you know me?
You think I just use my phone for nothing?
To waste time?
Because I’m lazy?
You said I have no dreams…
no goals to chase.

But did you know I applied for work—
and got rejected?
No.
You didn’t know.
Because you never asked.
You just assumed.

You just told me I’m picky with jobs I want.
You didn’t know the struggles I went through.
Didn’t see the nights I stayed up rewriting resumes.
Didn’t hear the silence after every “we regret to inform you.”
You blamed me for your suggestions when they failed.
Like it was my fault they didn’t work.
You blamed the outcome without seeing the effort.
You saw the tears—
but you didn’t ask why they were falling.

You think you know everything.
Well, you’re wrong.

Did you know I got bullied in school?
Yes, I told you—once.
And you said, “Just let them be.”
Let them bully me?
Really?
Is that what support looks like to you?

Did you know I cried myself to sleep most nights?
No.
Because I made sure to cry quietly.
Because every time I showed weakness,
I got blamed for it.

And now…
I have a heart that’s enlarged.
A real condition.
A heart that’s sick,
because I cried in silence for so long,
my body started breaking
before you even noticed I was hurting.

Support?
You say it’s love.
But love that hurts like this—
isn’t love.

So I’m asking—
no, begging:

Can you love your child without yapping, please?
Can you hug her…
just hug her…
without a sigh,
without complaints?

Because she’s tired.
Not just her body—
her soul is tired, too.

Seven letters.
But for me…
it still feels like a hundred.

Support is... doing it without hesitations. not with lots of words to say.
Instead of leaving the demons alone,
you chatted with them,
befriended them,
and even adopted their ways.

Have you been possessed by seven demons?
how many demons are there in a bible?
many names to call but all of it are associated to you
Sometimes, it’s hard for me to distinguish it anymore,
because you and the devil are alike now.

You speak in echoes now,
but none of them are your own—
every tale you twist
turns truth into tombstone.

Tongues once trusted
became serpents in silk,
slithering through rumors,
swallowing guilt.

Your breath smells of borrowed vengeance,
a perfume of slander
that stains the innocent.

Even silence you defile,
dressing it in suspicion and exile.

I watched your smile warp into smirk,
while your words sank deeper than dirt—
turning allies into antagonists,
as Leviathan danced behind your lips.

You wove falsehood like it was scripture,
casting shadows on every clear picture.

Is this your communion now?
To feast on stories,
to leave souls hollow?

They say:

“Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events,
small minds discuss people.”

And here you are,
building your kingdom from whispers,
sipping tea brewed in betrayal,
feasting on the names you tarnish.

Tell me—
when did you become so hungry
for power in the dark,
that you let your tongue
become your dagger?

When did you let your demons
call your house their home,
until you could not tell
where you end
and they begin?

Now,
the Leviathan and you are one.

You possess its characteristics:
twisting truth,
breaking covenants,
severing your connection with God.

Your neck stiffens in defiance,
your heart grows hard and cold,
your ears close to the Holy Spirit’s whisper.

You carry its pride,
its arrogance,
its haughty smirk.

You speak in borrowed venom,
your silence becoming suspicion,
your words, a weapon sharpened by lies.

You let the whispering liar
take residence behind your lips,
feeding your ego,
breeding bitterness in your bones.

You think you are in control—
but the Leviathan is dancing you,
twisting your spine,
wrapping you in its coils.

And the worst is yet to come.

Because once pride has swallowed you whole,
once bitterness has choked out mercy,
once you have scorched every bridge you stood upon—

You will realize too late
that the Leviathan does not share its throne.
It devours it.

And you,
in your hunger for control,
will be left with nothing
but ashes in your mouth
and silence from the heavens.
I have always wanted to be a liar.
But I was a bad liar.
I was very bad at it.
So I never comfort him with lies
But instead, I chose to hurt him with the truth.
And that is quite fair, right?
If you lie to me despite of me being truthful to you,
I felt like a bad guy in this situation.
But still, my parents still see me as a liar
Even after all this time, even I tried my best not to lie
Still, I was seen as a liar.
expecting for a phone call now
waiting for the bunny to die
deck of cards may fly
but you won't make it out alive

they might burn you, smokes play pretend
just like your crocodile tears would ever know
thinking twice for someone with no brain
drain functions as well in your guttered mind

painted my life red
a crimson red for my blood
shame on you for keeping my name *****
one more thing, when you woke up alive
see yourself six feet below the ground

but why don't you play it right
***** is a snitch, one sided *****
play your game right
checkmate, touch move
play safe now, won't you?

medusa is unbothered and untouched but misunderstood
seems so, the war is on
waving red flags for this feud
white flags, unbowed.
blank slate, they say
but no. life is very much figurative
to trust you or not
just like every petal of the flower i hold dear
picking and asking it to forgive them but nah.
NAH. life is one of a hell of a ride or die with them.
it makes no sense at all. pointless to say.
needless to say that I was unworthy of their accusations
for there is no proof that I did it.
but rather a hearsay by someone irrelevant.
said by someone, i was labelled as a thief for stealing food
to feed it to my other half
said i stole his watch, but little did he know that i hate watches and clocks
another said I stole a muffin, but he did not know that I starve myself to eat and contain only a few
I ain't no tabula rasa for you to forgive me
i was once impure and unclean for you to accuse me of something i never do.
If life weighs you down
Bring yourself up once again;
unlimited talks, adding or subtracting words

ooh, do you know what you are
what I saw in you
You felt like the cockroach of the sea—oh no!
You are the cockroach of the land—black, white or brown
I might be ready to squish or stomp you up, but still, whatever I do, it still keeps you alive, awake, kicking and enthusiastic

But truly sweetie, what defines you? A disgrace to the community—and that mouth of yours is a disgrace to my family as well

Let's save these dramas for ourselves now, shall we?
The worst is yet to come
I'm not done yet, the show is not yet over
I'm just warming up, I might go over next for the exciting part

You made me hate you—despite that, I pity you!
For all the cries and the untold stories
I pity you, not for your experience—but for how pathetic you are to gain or earn my trust
I helped you, listened to your pleas
But this is all you gave me in return

Your presence, existence—is nothing but a social scourge
An epidemic, an illness, a pest, an addiction, that even any medicine to cure cannot prevent it
There is no such thing as a remedy for an incurable disease like yours—An addiction you bring is never tolerated

That even your efforts and intentions are even questionable
Maybe you were a broken record—repeating lies and spitting spew into me
Well, I breathe in and out the fire of the level of your innocence

Well *****, don't look down, I am not there
Look up, heads up now, front and center
Look into my eyes, let me see your sincerity

Maybe you forgot, even if you keep denying it
The truth is always there, ready to be found when I am effortlessly not looking for it

Let's establish some rules, yes
For this staring game, I am all in
Lay all the cards on me, deck it now and let me tell you your future
Time will tell, yes, along with it, comes your fate
A shadowy figure, holds its scythe and wears a black hoodie while its hood is covering its face is now pointing you
It says to be a grim reaper, your time is up, old lady
Pity or not, you will experience an awful hell of a death

But, I don't want to scare you or burst your bubble
God sees the truth, but waits because He knows when to attack

I keep silent, revenge is for Him to do and not mine
I might forgive you, for my peace of mind
I might forget you, I hope so
But never what you did to me

It caused me hurt and pain, wounded scars of my unforgettable battles never won
It caused me trauma—got mistaken for something I never did

Labelled me as a thief, what else can you give me? Is that all?
Give me your best shot—bang me with the problems and issues you cannot handle well
Well, I handled worse

Reveal to me the ***** linens of my past—I am no longer afraid
God knows me well, dear—but you don't
God knows me and my whole life well—you just saw my life in highlights,  reels and teasers but never my whole story
I got used to it by now, I dealt with things on my own
Faced my demons and ***** on my own
Is there anything I cannot handle well? Even If I look at myself in the mirror, I saw my brave reflection who is now courageous enough to face the imperfect world

Oh pity! How about you? Your experience is much more pitiful than mine
So, you keep exposing my ***** linens, well, don't worry about it, let me expose yours too
Too sad, you married a narcissistic man, you are such a weakling when both of you ran into an argument
But oh boy, you loved the thrill when we have a feud, right?
You had an introvert ******-up son with his ****** girlfriend with mommy issues
A social climber, a leech to **** off your wealth
Oops, you are not even wealthy, right? Your American husband is only the one  supporting your ******* in life, right?
Don't make me push the buttons too much to expose your *****
So that you can still redeem your head, when you walk to town.
Your opinions of me are invalid, only God's criticisms are valid

I chose to walk away, white flag is waving now
But honey, I learned—to choose my battles and you are not one of it
Never worth it.
Life is not a pageantry—we need no rubrics and criteria for judging.

Life is not a race—that no trophy or plaque, medals or cash gifts ever won.

Life is meaningful.
Maybe I look like a ******* devil. Maybe that’s exactly what you see when you look at me—smirk on my lips, mischief in my eyes. And maybe that’s exactly why I love it. I love it when I get under your skin, when I see your patience snap like a brittle thread. I love it when you lose your cool just because I exist in your space, because I refuse to bow to your silent demands.

I get on your nerves. I know it. You know it. And it excites me, watching you unravel, second by second, as if my very presence is a jolt of chaos in your carefully constructed world. You get mad so easily, don’t you? Like a storm triggered by a spark you cannot comprehend. And I watch. I enjoy. It is delicious to see someone so fragile try to contain what they cannot.

Like what the hell did I ever do to you, man? Or what the hell did I ever say to you, man? The answer is nothing. Nothing but exist. Nothing but breathe in your air and shift your reality. That’s all it takes. My being is enough to make you flinch, to make you question, to make your heart thrum with unexplainable irritation.

Oh, of course, I am a trickster. I have no shame in admitting it. I revel in the chaos I create, in the disturbance of your peace. I am a mirror, reflecting the parts of yourself you cannot face. The parts you wish were hidden. The dark edges of your patience that crumble faster than you think.

I could sit here all day, watching the subtle changes in your expression. The twitch in your jaw, the flicker in your eye, the way your hands clench into fists you try to hide. It is hypnotic, intoxicating. I could watch your mind bend, twist, unravel, and rebuild itself around me.

Your mood shifts from good to bad in an instant. It fascinates me—the ease with which your composure collapses. Like your life, like instant noodles. Boil, soak, done. Quick, hollow, flavorless. And I wonder if you even notice it yourself, how delicate your control really is. Because I do. I notice everything.

Because, after all, you are what you eat. Your anger, your fragility, your constant tension—they are the ingredients of your being, digested and served back for me to observe. And I am the chef, the diner, the observer. I do not need to touch you to taste you. I already have.

Some days, I wonder what it would take to break you completely. Not to harm, not to destroy—at least not physically—but to see your mind stumble in the shadow of your own expectations. To see the carefully constructed mask slip just enough for me to peek beneath.

I love the way fear flickers across your features. Not terror, not panic—just the subtle recognition that you are not in control. And you never will be when I am around. The little bursts of anger, the micro-explosions of frustration—they feed me, energize me, give my existence a delicious, sharp edge.

I could whisper the simplest thing, touch the smallest nerve, and watch your reality distort. And the beauty of it? You don’t even realize. You think it’s random. You think it’s your own mind betraying you. But it’s me. It’s always been me.

Sometimes, I wonder if you dream about me. If your subconscious remembers the way I smirk, the way I lingered just enough to unsettle you. Or if it haunts you in small ways—the feeling that something is off, a presence you cannot name, a subtle disturbance that scratches at the edges of your calm.

I am the shadow in your corner. I am the itch beneath your skin. I am the flicker of unease when you think you are safe. And I am everywhere you are not looking. Because I do not need permission to exist in your periphery. I only need patience.

I know your patterns. I see your weaknesses. I see the cracks you hide from everyone else. And I sit with them, quietly, observing. Not with intent to destroy—though that is a temptation—but with a hunger that is almost sacred. To understand. To watch. To exist in the disturbance I leave behind.

Your frustration, your irritability, your quiet, simmering anger—they are symphonies to me. Each note precise, each crescendo timed by your own reflexes. I orchestrate nothing and everything. The chaos is natural. The manipulation is organic. You are already playing my game without knowing it.

Sometimes I imagine the worst in vivid detail. The way you might crumble if pushed just a fraction more. The way your mind could fracture under the weight of your own reaction to me. And I do nothing. I let it linger. I let it grow. I let it bloom.

You call me devil, trickster, nuisance—but it is deeper than that. I am the shadow in the light. The itch beneath the perfect skin. The whisper in the silence. I am what you cannot see but cannot ignore. I am the reminder that your calm is fragile, that your patience is temporary, that your control is an illusion.

And yet, I am careful. I do not destroy carelessly. I am precise, surgical, aware. I do not touch what cannot bear my presence. I merely nudge, merely provoke, merely exist in ways that unravel and rebuild simultaneously.

The thrill is in watching you discover yourself through me. Watching your mind stretch, twist, unravel, and reconcile the chaos I bring. Watching your anger rise, and then watching you rationalize it, contain it, and rebuild yourself again—always changed.

So yes, maybe I look like a devil. Maybe that is exactly what I am in your story. But I am not evil. I am reflection. I am disturbance. I am the chaos that forces recognition of the cracks you refuse to acknowledge.

And I will stay, smirking, watching, lingering. Because some reactions are worth every second of observation. Some minds are worth every whisper of disruption. And some people… are just too easy to watch unravel.
To my old little me,

When life weighs you down, stand firm—lift yourself up, plant both feet on the ground, and stay grounded.

We did not defeat them, and we will not reconcile with them.

To those who have hurt you, try to understand them. Maybe they're simply carrying too much, and their frustrations spilled onto you. Or maybe, they were never truly loved by their mother.

Enjoy your life there, old little me, for here, life presses down on me too much. I used to cry out loud, but now, when I am in pain, I weep in silence.

That’s when I realized— how painful it is to release all your sorrows in secret, covering your mouth so no one can hear you.

You end up crying everything out, because you are used to not being heard. And when you do speak up, it is always one-sided— they say you are just complaining. You keep thinking about how exhausted you are, but they compare their exhaustion to yours. And then they tell you that you have never truly suffered, so the moment you struggle even a little, they see you as weak—quick to surrender.

Sometimes, it feels disheartening to live in a world where pain seems endless. God has witnessed everything— the struggles, the weight of it all. The pressure I feel while searching for a job has made me realize how tough it truly is. It is no joke— at times, it is deeply frustrating.

So, old little me, wipe your tears. If you stumble on your journey, rise again—every time. Carry with you the proverb "Nanakorobi yaoki— "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
Little panda, I know you’re sad—
bruised by cruelty,
discarded like broken bamboo,
ignored by those who should have cared,
left to weather a storm not of your making.

Little panda, let the tears fall.
The storm will pass,
the sky will clear.
Run where no one follows,
hide where warmth still lingers.

Was comfort ever real, or just a blur?
A pigment of imagination,
fading as quickly as it came.

Little panda, I know what you are—
wounded, weary, stripped of trust.
But little panda, I’ll be here now.
Don’t turn away, don’t cry.

Little panda, my love,
Mommy’s got you now.
No more shadows, no more fear—
only love, only light.

But little panda never truly knew love.
Misunderstood, unloved, cast aside,
mistreated by a father who never saw him,
discarded by a mother who only spoke in wounds.

Their hands never held, only harmed.

Little panda would often ask—
Why was he born into chaos?
Unplanned, unwanted, left to drift.

He found solace in solitude,
knowing no one would stay,
no one would choose him.

Did he deserve this?
Every whip of his father’s drunken rage,
every word sharpened into cruelty—
he was told it was love,
but love was never pain.

No suffering should be measured,
no wounds compared—
for little panda carried a weight
no one else could define.

Little panda, I feel your pain.
Your brothers may bully you,
your mother may downgrade you,
your father may abuse you,
your sister may be their favorite.

But I will always be here
to pick you up when you’re down,
to wipe every tear from your eyes.

Little panda, you are not forgotten.
You are not your wounds,
not your parents’ failures,
not the chaos you were born into.

Little panda, you are loved,
and even if you don’t know how to believe it yet,
even if you can’t feel it now—
one day, you will learn to see yourself
not as broken bamboo,
but as a living forest
strong enough to shelter others.

Little panda, you are safe now.
Rest and let yourself heal.
I didn’t notice at first—
how the paper darkened
whenever my mind did.

How my hand obeyed the ghosts in my head,
spilling ink I never meant to pour,
turning every sketch into a dismembered memory
I could not bury.

I told myself,
“It’s just art.”

As I painted a black silhouette,
rope tight around the neck,
calling it “expression,”
but my mind whispered,
“This is how you feel.”

Tell me—
what kind of art strangles you
while you’re still alive?

I drew her lipstick smudged,
eyes screaming for help,
and said, “It’s just a concept,”
but it was me, wasn’t it?

Mascara running at 3 A.M.,
the mirror whispering,
“Wipe it off before they see you’re breaking.”

I painted limbs cut, bones broken,
stuffed her into a bag on the canvas,
called it “creative,”
but it was me, wasn’t it?

Chopping parts of myself
to fit into spaces I don’t belong,
breaking what won’t bend,
silencing screams in the back of my throat.

And when I toast to a goblet,
pour another bottle before bed,
I tell myself, “I’m just tired.”

But the wine is the only one listening,
nodding back in crimson reflections,
never telling me, “Don’t think like that,”
only hushing me to sleep
when I whisper, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I wish I could read between the lines,
match the types, connect the dots,
but I am the lines, the dots,
the smudges on every page I touch,
the type they skip over,
the dot they miss,
the line they don’t read.

So I draw my pain,
sing my sorrow,
dance with ghosts that cling to my ankles,
spin for them—
round and round and round,
until I’m dizzy enough to forget,
because it’s the only way I know how to breathe.

Funny thing is—
the saddest people give the best advice.
They know what to say,
they know the words you crave,
because they crave them too.

They don’t know I say those words
because I wish someone would say them to me.

So when you thank me for saving you,
remember: I was talking to myself.
Telling me to hold on, to breathe, to stay.

My art is not just art.
It’s a confession,
a silent scream hidden in brush strokes,
in shadows,
in black silhouettes.

It is a dismembered memory
on canvas, begging to be remembered,
begging to be seen.

And maybe—
just maybe—
one day,
someone will look at what I’ve drawn
and say, “I see you.”

And I will know,
I am not alone.
A longer version of dismembered memory
be the love you never received.
be the comfort your loved one needs.
be the light in someone's dark days.
you can be all that. if you want to be like that.
it is tiring but rewarding and fulfilling at the same time.
P.S Be careful when you do—if you keep giving without receiving or resting, you’ll end up burning yourself out -Lostling
A quiet magic,
an unexplainable euphoria—
a celebration without end.

It is choosing you,
again and again,
in every sunrise and every storm.
A thousand times over,
in every lifetime,
I choose you.

Through the highs and the hollows,
through every bend of this winding path,
I will hold your hand.

Love is the place I return to—
even when it aches,
even when it asks more than it gives.
Even through tears,
even through trials,
I will find you there.

You are my favorite decision.

And when the world grows loud and uncertain,
when chaos presses in,
I will find my silence in your arms.

Until the end—always—
I will be yours.

Your smile outshines the whole of the world.
It is my compass, my calm, my clarity.

They said love is not always a steady flame—
that it flickers, that it falters.
There will be doubts,
there will be silence,
and some days will feel worn and distant.

But even then—
especially then—
I will choose you.

Not just in the brilliance of love’s bloom,
but in the hush,
in the heavy,
in the ordinary.

Because love is more than a feeling—
it is a vow,
a respect,
a quiet promise that endures.

Even when the heart trembles,
even when the sky darkens—
I will choose you.
Always.
I want to have you
I got to have you
I want to have your last name
Though we’re different and the same

You never knew how much you mean to me
How much I love you so
How much you were so special to me
How much I miss you so

Loving you was red
I cannot get you out my head
With you, I found clarity
In you, I found sanity

Loving you was blue
How I wish you knew
That I want to say this to you
That how much do I love you so

Oh, I have been searching for someone like you
Long before I knew you
Long before I hear your name
I know I am no longer the same
Pull the trigger, let the bullets fly,
or slit thy throat, or neck—
give me peace of mind,
or I'll give you a piece of my mind.

What if a tight rope will be in my neck,
since it fits in me?
Or what if I jump on top of the building?
What if I run away from my life,
run away from everything?

What if silence swallows me, and no one even notices? What if I disappear between breaths, like a ghost mid-sentence?

I wear a smile like a cracked mask, mouth stitched with practiced quiet. They only hear me when I scream. But now even the screaming echoes back empty.

I walk rooms like graveyards— every memory a tombstone with my name. They grieve the version of me they made up, not the one who dragged herself here, blood on her hands, but still breathing.

You ask me why I write like this? Because the pen never flinches. Because it doesn’t try to fix me, or hush me, or tell me to stay strong. It just bleeds with me.

So if I have to shatter— let it be on my own terms. Let my breaking be honest, not a secret shame wrapped in silk.

Because maybe, just maybe, there’s power in not hiding.
luv
luv
ilysm, imysm;
I know you know that, I hope you won't forget that
yatoofm, moaol
(you are the only one for me, my one and only love)
you are my 13, my everything
my peace amidst all chaos, my best friend, partner, lover embodied in one
Icwtmy, Iwhyln
(I can't wait to marry you, I wanna have your last name)
No matter how long it takes
There is nothing I can do about it now
Go on, give it your best shot
Hit me with your worst case scenarios
You thought so, I might cry, nope.

Why are you so assuming? So your arrogance can actually get you somewhere after all.
Instead of using your brain, why did you use your intimate area?
Maybe that itch is too hard to scratch after all

Oops, how about your future daughter-in-law
She was untouchable, I never even laid a finger on her
I never even talk to her if it is nothing important
I only converse to her when I am bored
Too sad, she is never important on my daily life

They all **** up my energy
They keep draining me
It is kilig on my part
when I hear TJ Monterde's song entitled Mahika
playing randomly on the radio or thru Spotify.
It catches me off guard in the sweetest way—
like the universe reminding me that love exists
in the quiet, simple moments.

The lyrics goes like:

'Di ka pa man lang kumikibo, ayos na
(Even without you saying a word, everything already feels right)

May mahika ka pang dala-dala
(You carry magic with you)

Sa piling mo
(In your presence)

Bumabagal, humihinto ang mundo
(Time slows down, the world comes to a halt)

Sa piling mo
(In your presence)

Ayaw kong mawala, ayaw kong mawala
(I don’t want to be lost; I don’t want to be lost)


Love is indeed magical—
something that you cannot fully explain with words,
but rather through the unspoken, through actions.
It’s in the way someone holds your hand,
in the silence that feels like home,
in a glance that calms your storm.
It’s the comfort in their presence,
the steady beat of their heart beside yours.
Love is not loud—it’s felt.
Subtle, yet powerful. Mysterious, yet familiar.
It’s mahika—
the kind that lingers long after the music fades.
Kulang ang mga bituin sa kalangitan
Na kahit minsan ay kay sarap pagmasdan
Kung mawawala ka man ay kulang rin ako,
Ikaw ang nagsisilbing aking katahimikan

Sa aking maingay at magulong mundo,
Para kang isang tanawin
Na kay sarap titigan
Sana nga ay makuha ka sa tingin,

Tayo ay may walong planeta
Ngunit sa iyo lamang umiikot ang mundo ko
Ikaw ang aking paboritong pantasya
Na ayaw kong kalimutan

Ikaw ang paborito kong panaginip
Na kahit minsan sana ay hindi na ako magising
Makasama ka lamang kahit ako’y naka idlip
Pero ayaw kong mabuking

Na ang talino ko sa klase
Pero pagdating sa’yo nabo-bobo at nata-tanga ako
Alam kong wala kang pake
Dahil bihira naman na ako ay magugustuhan mo

Ang isang tulad ko
Nakakasagot naman ako sa oral namin
Pero pagdating sa’yo nata-tameme ako at ‘di maka-amin
Dahil suntok sa buwan lamang ako pagdating sa’yo

Ka-babae kong tao
Pero kapag ikaw nababakla ako
Hindi ko alam bakit nagkakaganito ako
Pagdating sa iyo nagiging abnormal ako

Ikaw ang ilaw
Sa madilim na landas na aking tinatahak;
Ikaw at ang pangalan mo ay sa aking puso't isipan nakatatak
Wala kang ibang kaagaw
Mananatili akong sa’yo hanggang dulo
Kung hindi man maging tayo,
Hanggang sa huli
Kahit ang Panginoon, ang mga tala at buwan sa kalangitan ang saksi;

At hindi ko kailanman maikubli
Kung ano ang nararamdaman ko para sa’yo.

Mananatili akong sa’yo, sa mga oras na kailangan mo ako
Sa mga araw na wala kang masasandalan
Ako ang kanlungan mo
Ang iyong maaasahan

Mananatili sa iyong tabi
Kahit sa mga gabing hindi ka mapakali,
Sa’yo lang ako naging sigurado
Sa’yo lang ako naging kuntento,

Mananatiling sa’yo
Sa’yo hanggang dulo;

Pero hindi payapa ang aking mundo kung wala ka
Mahal, ikaw ang aking pahinga, ang aking payapa,
Sa mga panahong ako ay pagod at gustong mapag-isa
Sa iyong piling, ikaw ang aking tahanan

Ikaw ang aking magpakailanman
Ang aking tahanan
Ang aking masasandalan
Ikaw at ako’y nasa kanluran

Ang iyong mga kamay ang aking gustong hawakan
Ang iyong tinig ang aking gustong marinig
Ikaw ang aking kasiyahan sa mga araw na ako ay nalulumbay;
At ikaw lamang ang aking mamahalin habangbuhay.

Hindi kita papalitan
Hindi kita bibitiwan,
Hindi kita susukuan
Mananatili akong sa’yo,

Hindi kita iiwan
Dahil ikaw ang aking ligaya,
Ikaw lamang ang nag-iisa
Mananatili akong sa’yo.

Huwag kang mag-alala
Hindi ako mawawala;
Sasamahan kita kahit saan man tayo mapunta
Basta’t ikaw ang aking kasama.

Ikaw ang natatangi
Ang kailanman na hindi ko kayang itanggi,
Ikaw at ako’y isinulat sa mga bituin sa kalangitan
At dahil sa ating wagas na pagmamahalan;

Hindi kita ikakahiya
Ipagsisigawan sa buong mundo
Kung gaano kita kamahal sinta
At dahil ang puso ko’y sa’yo.
Manipulation only works on those desperate to be liked. That’s the truth most people don’t see. They think charm and control can sway anyone, but it only dances where hunger for approval lives. When you stop living for applause, when you stop bending your spine to fit someone else’s shadow, that’s when the game changes. That’s when you become untouchable.

People who crave validation—they contort themselves into shapes they’re not. They shrink. They hide the parts of themselves that burn too bright. They nod at things they don’t believe in. They tolerate disrespect like it’s medicine, swallow humiliation like it’s water, all because the thought of being disliked feels like the end of the world. And manipulators—they feast on this. They know the price of your fear, and they collect it gladly.

But what if you refused? What if you stopped asking for scraps of approval from tables where you were never truly welcome? What if your worth became something you carried inside, unshakable, independent of their smiles or frowns? That’s when the strings snap. That’s when the power they thought they held dissolves like smoke.

You see, manipulators thrive on fragility, on the idea that someone else can define who you are. Take that away, and they are powerless. Silent treatment? Guilt trips? Flattery? None of it works. Their tactics crumble because the prize they dangle—the “yes” you were supposed to beg for—is no longer yours to give. You’ve already given it to yourself.

Walk into a room with that kind of self-possession. Watch how it unsettles them. The insecure glance nervously, the controllers falter, because the power they had over you never existed—it was an illusion sustained by your need for them to approve. Take that need away, and the illusion vanishes.

The Scripture says it plainly: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe” (Proverbs 29:25, ESV). Safety, security, freedom—they aren’t in other people’s approval. They are in truth. In self-respect. In an inner compass that never wavers. When your identity is anchored there, no one can touch it. No one can reach in and rearrange it for their convenience.

Stop chasing approval. Stop fearing rejection. Choose respect instead. Choose yourself. Choose the kind of freedom that no manipulator can ever take back, no matter how clever they think they are.

Because the truth is simple: You cannot manipulate someone who is not desperate to be liked. And once you realize that, once you feel it, the world changes. You are no longer a puppet. You are no longer a shadow. You are untouchable. You are free.
I have had it all covered
Once or twice will do
But I did nothing wrong,
Why mention my name all of the sudden?
I kept my mouth shut
for the longest time
for a hundred or thousands of times
to keep my peace
and gave you peace and respect in return
what do you fvcking need?
an attention or details to ease your mind from overthinking
out of context, from your whimsical story maker of a child?
you are a ******* open book
your personality never fitted from your face
a disgusting *****
corrupting your generation's mind
you are a mundane *******
scandalous, pathetic *****
it was a female dog, not meant to turn into a behavior
you are such an escandalosa
Maria Makiling by face, loudmouth by personality
her name is Maria Ligaya, married a cano
but she changed and became a mata pobre
Mark 10:9, which states: "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

No one will be allowed to destroy what God has brought together.
The union forged by divine hands stands unshaken beneath the weight of time and trial.
Bound not merely by fleeting emotion but by a sacred covenant, it weaves through the fabric of destiny, unyielding to discord and untouched by mortal interference.

What is born of grace remains steadfast, weathering tempests, defying doubt, and rising anew with each dawn.
Though shadows may loom and voices may challenge, the promise endures—an echo of eternity, a vow sealed not by man’s decree but by the whisper of the divine.

No force, no circumstance, no frailty of the world can sever what was breathed into being by love itself.
What God has joined together is not a mere arrangement, but a bond written in the stars—a testament to resilience, to faith, to the unbreakable nature of a union rooted in something far greater than human hands could mold.
I can forgive you for many things—whether it’s how you act or what you say to me. But I will never forgive you for hurting my mother’s feelings. Yes, I may have my own issues with her, but that doesn’t mean I ever wanted to hurt her, and it certainly doesn’t give us the right to do so.

I understand that your feelings are valid. I know you're in pain too. But that doesn’t justify hurting her in return. Just because you’ve heard things that made you feel hurt doesn’t mean you have the right to inflict the same pain on her.
He was all seven of the deadly sins
but he made me a villain for everyone to see
that there is a little bit of devil
hidden in my angelic innocent eyes

like pride, I'd swallow you whole
spit you because you're lukewarm
said he, "you'll be the death of me"
I smirked and spot with my little eye
to tell you a white lie
"I am the ruin of you"
does it scare you now?

watch everything you built
crumble down
I did everything
in my power
to destroy everyone
who stands in my way.

I was once young and naive,
to tell you, frankly
I thought birds can fly
without its wings
locked in a cage
full of broken dreams
and opportunities passing by.

I plead for help
every whip and blow
is pain and bruised
all wounded up
I'd **** for you
but don't **** me in return
put me in a sack,
smoke and burn me
bang my head against the wall
I hope I healed my inner child

I was cruel to the world,
bitter for everyone to see
my ****** heart all melted
for someone so softhearted.

bad monsters never looked like monsters
sometimes, a monster holds a rooster
put under the influence
smoke ****, cigarette and drink to sleep
he breeds violence, breeds selfishness and greed
watch the world burn
or watch yourself lie in your sarcophagus
deep within your catacomb
a diary of a physically abused man
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine
Love, you are my unending and limitless
Source of happiness
But I want you to know that you’re mine

And you are the best feeling I ever felt in my entire lifetime
I think about you all the time
How much you mean to me
And that you’re the one for me

I’m yours and will forever be yours
I’ll be everything you wanted me to be
And your 911 every time you needed me
Just know that my heart will always be yours

God knows how happy I am with you
And I will be here to take care of you
You will never feel alone
And I’ll promise to be your comfort zone

Because I am permanently in love with you
I was searching for happiness and I got you
One day, there will no longer be distance between us too
At the end of the day, All I want is you
Master of all lies. A man who cannot walk his talk is a fool. Sweetheart, you wear deception like a crown, but it is cracked, tarnished, and heavy upon your head.

You preach that gossip brings no wealth, yet you lap at every whisper, every rumor, every shadowy tale, as if it were gold dust falling into your palms. And yet, what have you earned? Not riches, not glory. Just enemies. Just the bitter taste of contempt.

Ah, I suppose I must be important then. After all, you spend your days, your hours, your every waking second, collecting fabricated stories as if they were treasures. Stories with no proof, no merit, no weight—yet you hoard them like a miser clings to coins.

Meanwhile, I hold a reverse uno card. I play when the time is right. I collect receipts, evidence, proof—a ledger of truth that outlasts your smoke and mirrors. I sip my piña colada in the sun, watching as the foolishness of your efforts collapses into absurdity.

You speak of honor, yet your tongue drips poison. You say discretion is valuable, yet you scatter secrets as if sowing weeds. How quaint, that you believe your duplicity is cleverness. It is folly, pure and unadulterated.

Every lie you tell is a stitch in the shroud you will one day wear. Every whispered rumor is a brick in the coffin of your credibility. You may not see it now, lost in your small victories, but it waits, patient and inevitable.

You paid attention to me, and in that attention, you thought to craft control. You spread my story as if bending it could bend reality itself. But reality, darling, is not yours to shape. It bends only to truth—and you are far from it.

You call yourself shrewd, a master of strategy, yet you cannot see that your currency is contempt. Haters, enemies, the shadows of those you slandered—they are your true legacy. Not millions, but resentment. Not respect, but whispers behind your back.

Be wise in investing your time. Time is the only coin that cannot be reclaimed. And yet, you spend it lavishly, casting venom where it serves nothing but your ego. Sweetheart, did you ever consider that silence and dignity could yield more than gossip ever could?

Some people pay back respect and silence. Quiet, unassuming, steadfast. They move through life with integrity, and their restraint becomes their armor. And others? Others pay back karma. Slowly. Deliberately. Remorselessly.

Do you feel clever now, as your words coil through circles, twisting perceptions, stitching shadows into my name? Do you not feel the weight of the eyes you cannot see, the judgment you cannot escape?

Your lies are like smoke. They drift, they burn, they suffocate. And yet, when the wind shifts, when the truth rises, you are left coughing, choking, grasping for a foothold that does not exist.

You cannot walk your talk. You cannot own your words. You cannot contain the chaos you so freely unleash. A man who spreads venom while preaching virtue is no master—he is a jester, dancing on the graves of his own dignity.

Haters do not build empires. Shadows do not create legacies. Gossip does not enrich the soul, nor the mind, nor the life. You trade ephemeral attention for permanent disgrace, and call it cleverness.

Do you hear it? The whisper of karma, patient, deliberate, circling closer with every lie, every manipulation, every act of malice. You cannot flee it. You cannot bribe it. You cannot charm it. It waits.

Time invested in venom is time wasted. Energy spent on deception is energy stolen from creation, from love, from truth. And you, master of all lies, squander both recklessly. Meanwhile, I sip my piña colada, receipts in hand, reverse uno card ready, knowing exactly when to play.

Some will remember your cruelty in silence. Some will repay it without words, letting the weight of justice fall unnoticed until it is too late. Some will let the universe itself deliver its verdict, patiently, with precision.

Sweetheart, you gained haters, not millions. You gathered contempt, not respect. And one day, perhaps, you will realize the truth too late: gossip is a currency the soul cannot spend, a poison the heart cannot digest.

Be wise in investing your time. Some people pay back respect and silence; others pay back karma. You will find which is yours, eventually. And when that day comes, the mask you wear will crack, the shadow you cast will falter, and your lies will finally meet their reckoning.

Master of all lies. A man who cannot walk his talk is a fool. And fools, darling, always pay their debts. Meanwhile, I drink my piña colada, collect my proof, and laugh quietly—because time and truth are mine, and yours are already running out.
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.
23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,
24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33

Sometimes, when a storm enters our lives, we become consumed by its turbulence—
searching for solutions,
struggling against the waves—
forgetting to turn our hearts toward God.

When I was young,
I realized that the challenges we face,
the so-called "storms" of life,
are not meant to break us but to draw us closer to Him.
They are reminders that God is truly in control,
that His wisdom surpasses our understanding,
and that we need not carry the weight of worry alone.

To focus on God rather than the storm is to trust in His power and love through every trial.
But that trust should not be reserved only for difficult times—
it should become a habit,
woven into the rhythm of our daily lives.
Let our faith be steadfast,
not just in adversity,
but in every moment,
we are given.
We don't know how to swim, but I'm already sinking deeply.
Maybe I can leave you so that I can also save myself and lift myself from the heaviness I feel, which was never my responsibility to carry anyway.
May every evil eye upon me go blind, their sight clouded by their own malice. Let them stumble in shadows they once cast upon me.

May every tongue that whispers deceit against me falter, and may every word they speak return to them, heavy with consequence.

May every hand that rises to strike me fall, as if the heavens themselves reached down to correct the injustice. (Isaiah 54:17 – “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper.”)

May every dark thought, every ill intention, every plan of envy be swallowed by its own darkness, leaving only emptiness behind.

Let the fire of their own greed and hatred consume them, while I stand untouched, calm, and unwavering.

May the Lord shield me from all harm, His light a fortress that no shadow can penetrate, His strength a wall around my spirit.

May every envy that seeks my downfall return to the sender, multiplied by the weight of their own wickedness.

Let justice rise quietly, unseen by the world, until it falls upon those who thought themselves safe.

May every plot and scheme they’ve crafted with cunning hands crumble, leaving them bewildered and powerless.

Let their voices, once loud with judgment, echo into silence, meaningless and hollow.

May every lie they’ve sown find no soil to grow, no hearts to nourish it, and return like thorns piercing their own hands.

May peace reign in my heart, unshaken by the storms they try to conjure, untainted by their attempts at ruin.

Let my spirit be steadfast, my mind sharp, my gaze unwavering, seeing all without faltering in justice or discernment.

May the heavens pour their righteousness upon those who intend harm, turning every arrow of malice into a lesson they cannot escape.

May the weight of their own arrogance and pride bind them, while I walk freely, untouchable, and serene.

May my steps be guided, my path clear, my decisions illuminated by wisdom that no envy can cloud.

Let every shadow they cast upon me fall back upon themselves, leaving them in darkness, blinded by their own folly.

May their schemes be exposed, their secrets revealed, and their intentions turned inward, as if the earth itself rejected their malice.

Let me rise above all harm, untouchable, protected, a living testament to patience, grace, and divine justice.

And in all of this, may I never thirst for vengeance, for the Lord Himself is my vindicator. May I remain strong, soft-spoken, yet unyielding, as every evil returns to the sender.
me
me
Maybe it feels nice, to be a kid again
you stumble and cry
you play and you laugh
but when you get older
you are depressed and anxious
scared and tired.
My mind is occupied lately
Of ******* that **** me up,
My inner demons are controlling me
They can’t shut up;

All the words you said
Keeps on running through my head
All the things we did
Cannot seem to leave my head

All the places we’ve plan of going to
Now I go visit them all alone
All my friends I talk to
Keeps on asking why you’re gone

Now I realize what you did to me
I know I’m no longer that fool
That will be easily fooled
Because baby, you cannot fool me

I am not a puppet on your strings
For you to manipulate me,
I am not a magnet
For me to stick around.

I have a pair of wings
But you cut it and stole from me,
I chose to live in regret
Now I came back without a sound,

The blood in my veins
It stains, remains and I’m in pain
It came from the blood of a sinner
He was once my lover,

Our relationship should be a two-way street
Cause we should take what we both give
And give back what we took
Oh, it is a two-way street.

Life’s not always well like this
Don’t just live in a world like this,
Don’t just give and give
You also have to take and take.

You don’t have to live in a cruel life
It gives you bitter strife,
Just don’t give and give
You also have to take and take;

He told me I was his everything
I was his happiness,
I treated him like a king
But I was only his temporary happiness.

I am trying to pick up the fragments of myself
That’s been shattered also by myself
And bringing back the pieces together
Now I don’t believe in forever

If what we had is already over
I just had the chance to remember
Oh, I’m already back to my old self
I built you up, you tore me down

I don’t want to give up, I ain’t going down

You can’t fix me
cause only I can fix myself
You can’t complete me
Only I will be responsible for myself

You no longer love me
Only I can love myself
If you can’t choose me
I will choose myself

If you can’t make me your priority
Only I can prioritize myself

I don’t need you
I don’t want you
I only need myself with me
I only want peace within me
You've searched me and You've known me
When I rise up
When I walk out
You read my thoughts

Running all around
Search out my paths
And my lying down
You're not surprised

By any of my ways
And my heart is counting on it
While I wait
Before there was a word

Dripping off my tongue
God, you already heard it
And then it is sung
You hem me in and run

Ahead of both my feet
Order all my steps
And dream up all my dreams
Faithful to the end

Father and my friend
My Heart lays before You

Midnight
You catch every tear I cry
Midnight
I can feel You by my side

Where can I go?
Where can I flee?
There's not one place
That You cannot see

Heaven or Hell
Dark caves and trees
Mountains and hills
Desert or Deep

Even in my lungs
The air that I'm breathing is Yours

Midnight
You catch every tear I cry
Midnight
I can feel You by my side

See I will (I soak my bed with tears)
Still close (still feel Your presence near)
Oh, my sorrow (oh, through heartache, pain and fears)
You carry me God (You carry all my years)

I soak my bed with tears
Still feel Your presence near
(Through every heartache) oh, through heartache, pain and fears

(God You carry me) You carry all my years, yeah
Where can I go?
Where can I flee?
There's not one place

That You cannot see
Heaven or Hell
Dark caves and trees
Mountains and hills

(Oh, Desert or Deep) Desert or Deep
Even in my lungs
The air that I'm breathing is Yours
Midnight

You catch every tear I cry
Midnight
I can feel You by my side
All my tears

God, You know what I am, I'm crying out
Now, I'll drop forth
Apart from Your emblem
Oh-ooh

You've searched me and You've known me
When I rise up
When I walk out
You read my thoughts

Running all around
Search out my paths
And my lying down
You're not surprised

By any of my ways
And my heart is counting on it
While I wait

Reflection:

Sometimes… midnight is more than just a time on the clock.

It’s a place.
A pause between yesterday and tomorrow.
A sacred space where the world goes quiet—but my mind doesn’t.
It’s where my thoughts get loud.
Where my fears come out of hiding.
Where the pain I shoved down all day suddenly sits at the edge of my bed… refusing to leave.

Midnight is where the fight begins.
Not with fists or noise, but with whispers and weight.
I wrestle with questions I don’t dare say in the light:
“Am I really seen?”
“God, are You still with me?”
“Why does it still hurt?”

And sometimes, I feel the enemy creeping in.
Not in horns and smoke, but in thoughts that sting—
“You're forgotten.”
“You're not enough.”
“God’s not listening.”

And yet… in the middle of that silent war, something shifts.

It’s not loud.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s the still, steady presence of a God who never left.

Because when I stop… when I pray… when I whisper His name through gritted teeth or tearful sighs—
He answers.
Not always with a solution.
But always with Himself.

His presence.

And suddenly, midnight isn’t just a battlefield.
It’s holy ground.
A place where sorrow and faith collide.
Where I may soak my bed with tears, but I still feel His nearness.
Where I don’t have to pretend to be strong, because He already knows every weakness—and chooses to stay anyway.

I realize now…
Midnight isn’t the end. It’s the turning point.
Because even in the darkness, God is light.
Even in the silence, God is near.
Even in my breaking, God is holding.

So I breathe.
I weep if I must.
But I will not fear.

Because I am not alone.
Not then.
Not now.
Not ever.
Give in to me
Lie down on top of me
I just wanna be yours tonight
Until we get tired

Ride with me, dance with me
Bite me wherever you like
Kiss me whenever you like

Until midnight feels different
Until midnight feels different

I just wanna lie down next to you
I feel so tired, so tired
I just wanna be yours every night
Until you’ll get tired of me, me

The weather’s so fine, the ambiance is so cold
You are all mine, now I’ve been told

Midnight hits different
Until midnight feels different
I just wanna wake up with you in the morning
And see your gaze, my darling

Walking with you barefoot
With your hand in my hand
Your wish is always my command
Cause your love can soothe

In all of me
I feel warm, I feel calm
Just give in to me
Until life hits different

Until my love hits different
Until your way of ******* me hits different
NSFW ***** explicit mode
Baby you deserve all of me
My treatment, my love, my care
I just wanna be fair
Giving your needs and wants

I just wanna stay with you
From morning until midnight
Because baby, midnight hits different
We vibe and felt different

I just hope you will get it on right
Be patient with me
Satisfy me and go crazy for you

Let your imagination run wild
I ain't a savage for me to be this wild
But you made me wild
You made me want you

Go crazy about you
Chase you, own you
Make you mine, cross that line

You're the hunter and I'm the prey
It's your vibe that made me stay

I miss ******* you
The way you miss ******* me
I get so crazy about you
The way you feel so ***** of me

I just waited for you to come home
Waiting for you to come home
My midnight feels better when you're here with me
Midnight hits different when you're sleeping next to me
Watching you close and kiss your cheeks goodnight
I always loved this kind of midnight

When we never fight but made-love
The way we make-love

Seems like heaven is on our side
The touch is remarkable, unforgettable
It felt like I'm on top of the cloud nine
I was always fine
Because baby, you are mine
Then make me your bride
I’d always abide, confide

**** me how you want it to be
**** me the way I loved how you touch me
All the sweat, moans and gasping for air
Can’t you feel how I care?
I plead more of you, longs for you

I wanna hug you on cold days
Cuddle with you everyday
I collect Valid IDs like I am Thanos collecting gem stones.

I collect different bank cards for different purposes.

So what? That's normal.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said,
“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”

And I often wonder—
why are people always like that?

Why do some people find more joy in tearing others down than lifting them up?
Why is it so easy to become the topic of their conversation,
when all you’re doing is staying quiet,
trying to survive,
trying to build a life they know nothing about?

They talk like they know me.
Like they’ve read every chapter of my story.
But in truth, they only skim the surface—
the part where I succeeded,
never the part where I suffered.

They never saw the nights I wrestled with anxiety.
They didn’t hear the prayers I whispered while everyone else was asleep.
They didn’t feel the weight I carried on my back—expectations, fears, distractions,
all while pretending I was fine.

No.
They see the medals.
They see the passing score.
They see the result.
And suddenly, everyone has something to say.
Some cheer.
Some pretend to cheer.
Some wait for the next failure.

But I’ve learned this:
The smaller the mind, the louder the mouth.
Small minds need someone else to talk about,
because they’ve got nothing going on within themselves.
And so they latch onto people like me.
People who work in silence.
People who strive in private.
People who don't show their wounds.

They say, “You’ve changed.”
But they never ask, “What changed you?”

The truth?
It’s not that I’ve changed—
it’s that I’ve outgrown the noise.
The noise of gossip, of doubt, of empty chatter.
I’ve outgrown the need to explain myself to people
who never cared to understand in the first place.

And to be honest,
I no longer feel the urge to correct the stories they tell about me.
Let them talk.
Let them speculate.
Let them choke on their own narratives.

Because while they were busy talking about people,
I was talking to God.
While they were picking apart lives,
I was building mine.
While they laughed at my silence,
I was surviving in it.

So yes—
as Eleanor Roosevelt said,
great minds talk about ideas.
About purpose. Vision. Growth.
And that’s where I’m keeping my mind.
Not on the people who drain me.
Not on the opinions that don’t pay my bills
or heal my soul.

Let them whisper.
Let them watch.
Because no matter what they say,
I know what I’ve been through.
And God knows too.
The peace of not knowing everything is far better than the burden of knowing it all at once.

Or perhaps, this boredom I feel now is the peace I once longed for. Either way, I am grateful—I have learned how to be alone without being lonely.

But did you know? The best thing they ever did for me—those bred with perfection and sincerity—was to despise me in silence. Hated by many, yet confronted by none.

Perhaps it was the peace of mind I deserved—to not know at all. Or maybe, it was merely the weight of unanswered questions and the burden of overthinking.

A peace of mind, I plead. Mind me, will you?
One morning, the sun rose gently.
The room was quiet, but inside me—
a conversation stirred.

The Mind:
You're awake again.
Already spinning,
already storming.
The questions haven’t slept,
have they?

The Voice:
No. But you let them simmer.
You always do.
Is today the day you let them boil?

The Mind:
Maybe.
I am noisy— not in sound,
but in thoughts that hum loud under the skin.
Filled with unsaid words,
of questions and opinions I am supposed to say
but I chose not.

The Voice:
You speak in restraint,
but your silence is symphonic.
I’ve heard every word you didn’t say.
They thump behind your ribs like second heartbeats.

The Mind:
So you do hear me…
even when I let the world think I’m quiet?

The Voice:
Always.
You are a thunderclap folded into calm,
and every pause you make is sacred.

A new beat enters the quiet.

The Heart:
I hear you, too.
Every thought you swallow,
I feel it burn through me.

The Mind:
Heart, I am trying to protect you.
If I speak, if I reveal too much,
won’t you break?

The Heart:
I break anyway, in silence.
Every unspoken truth you bury,
I carry like hidden fractures.

The Voice:
You’ve mastered silence,
but the weight is crushing you both.

The Heart:
Let me feel,
even if it hurts.
Don’t numb me with silence,
don’t cage me with fear.

The Mind:
But what if I speak,
and it drives them away?
What if my truth is too much?

The Heart:
If they leave,
let them.
If they stay,
let them love the whole of you.
Your truth is not too much;
it is exactly enough.

The Voice:
Your silence is heavy,
but your truth can be light,
if you let it.

The Heart:
I am tired of beating quietly,
pretending I don’t hurt.
Let me break if I must,
so I can heal honestly.

The Mind:
It is terrifying.

The Heart:
And yet,
we are alive.
And being alive is worth the risk
of being seen.

The Voice:
You do not need to roar.
You only need to speak,
even if your voice trembles,
even if your hands shake,
even if tears come.

The Heart:
I will be with you,
soft but strong,
beating for you,
reminding you—
You are still here.
You are still here.

The Mind:
So you will stay,
both of you,
as I learn to speak?

The Voice:
Always.

The Heart:
Always.

And as the sun climbed higher,
the room was quiet—
but inside,
a new sound was born.

The sound of a truth
learning how to speak.
The sound of a heart
learning how to be heard.
The sound of a mind
learning how to let go.
When you made a mistake, others will have the right to define some meaning behind that mistake?

If yes, that is what my family always did to me.

I cheated once with my partner, although I made a bad reason to breakup with him
And the guy I cheated with, has a girlfriend
He betrayed me into telling my mother about what happened to us,
He spread rumors about me, which also made my mom angry at me at the same time

After that, she scolded me. Told me I was a flirt for flirting on other boys and cheating on my ex-boyfriend.
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I didn't know who or when it happened,
It just happens that I didn't know about that incident and he never got caught.
A friend of mine told me that since they were classmates, she saw my ex out with someone new after a week of breaking up with him.

My life was so ****** up.
Someone wise once said, "mistakes do not define you"
We really have no right to define them badly about their mistakes
We did not know what happened. Who are we really to judge that person when we do not even walk in the same shoes as his or hers.
We have no right to be rude about them.
Their mistakes defined them as imperfect people. We all are imperfect people but remember that God loved us so much, he sees through us and our imperfections but he never judged us.
Mistakes. They cling to us like shadows, whispering in the quiet hours, reminding us of moments we wish we could undo. The world loves to brandish them like labels, as if one error, one lapse, one misstep could define the entirety of your being. But it does not. It cannot.

You are more than the sum of your failures. More than the choices that went wrong, the words that hurt, the paths that led to dead ends. Mistakes are events, fleeting moments in the vastness of your life, not the core of your identity.

Every misstep is a teacher, not a sentence. Every failure is a lesson, not a verdict. You stumble, you fall, you falter—but you rise. And in rising, in learning, in choosing again, you redefine the story of who you are.

It is easy to believe otherwise, to let guilt, shame, or regret anchor you to a false identity built by errors. But you must resist that lie. Your value, your essence, your worth is not measured by the moments you tripped—it is measured by how you respond, how you heal, how you continue.

Mistakes do not erase your achievements. They do not erase your love, your courage, your kindness, your resilience. They are not a permanent tattoo etched onto your soul; they are a ripple in the stream, temporary and transformable.

You are not your worst choice. You are not your harshest regret. You are the person who wakes, who breathes, who dares again, despite knowing the risk of falling. You are the one who learns, grows, and evolves. That is the truest reflection of you.

Shame wants you silent. Regret wants you small. Fear wants you frozen. But your spirit is stronger than all of them. You can rise above the echoes of your missteps, above the weight of your failures, and claim your own narrative.

And there is freedom in this understanding. Freedom to fail without collapse, freedom to try without annihilation, freedom to be human without being defined by imperfection. You are allowed to stumble. You are allowed to err. You are allowed to exist in the messy, glorious process of becoming.

Your mistakes are chapters, not the whole book. Pages, not the cover. Shadows, not the light. They shape you, yes—they teach you, yes—but they do not limit you. They do not cage you. They do not write the ending before you have had a chance to continue.

So forgive yourself. Forgive the moments you wish you could undo. Forgive the decisions that hurt. Forgive the paths that led nowhere. And then rise, continue, and live in the knowledge that mistakes are proof you are human, not proof that you are lesser.

Mistakes. They love to haunt us, do they not? Whispering in every shadow, mocking in every silence, laughing as if one misstep could eclipse the entire being beneath. The world would have you believe that you are nothing but your failures, that each error is a brand burned into your soul. Fools.

Your mistakes are not your chains. They are not your tombstones. They are not the verdicts of your existence. They are but echoes—shattered mirrors reflecting fleeting moments, fragments of choice, not the architecture of your life. And yet, how many kneel before them, letting shame dictate their every breath?

Let them try. Let them gnash their teeth, let them scorn, let them brand you with their judgment. Their eyes are narrow, their minds petty, their morality brittle. Their condemnation is not truth—it is envy, fear, cowardice masquerading as wisdom.

You have stumbled. You have fallen. You have erred. And you will again. And yet, in each collapse, in each bruised and broken moment, there lies the fire of resilience. You rise. You claw your way up from the ruin of your own choices. That is your identity. That is your power.

Do not allow the world to narrate your story. Do not allow a single misstep, no matter how dark, to define the vast landscape of your existence. You are not the shadow. You are the light that cuts through it. You are not the fracture—you are the vessel that endures the breaking and emerges stronger.

Shame wants you silent. Fear wants you small. Regret wants you chained to the past. Let them whisper. Let them shriek. You do not belong to their narrative. You are the author of your own **** soul.

Every scar, every bruise, every error is a story of survival, a testament of endurance, a mark of a life lived fully and recklessly and fiercely. Let them call it failure. Let them brand it weakness. You know the truth. You are alive. You are learning. You are becoming.

You will fall again, yes. You will err, yes. But in each mistake is a morsel of freedom—a chance to rise, a chance to reclaim, a chance to twist the dagger of judgment into a crown for yourself. And when you rise, watch them recoil. Watch them tremble. For you are unbreakable.

You are not your mistakes. You are the anger you transform into action, the grief you sculpt into growth, the despair you ignite into determination. You are the storm that consumes error and turns it into fuel.

Walk through the shadows with your head high. Stumble if you must. Fall if you must. Fail if you must. But let no mistake define your worth. Let no error dictate your soul. Let no judgment bind your spirit.

You are not the echoes of your past. You are the roar of your becoming. You are the fire that mistakes cannot extinguish. You are the shadow and the light, the ruin and the resurrection. You are more than any failure could ever touch.

And if they dare call you broken, let them watch as you rise, unchained, unbowed, untouchable—your mistakes not shackles, but stepping stones. Your errors not tombstones, but foundations. Your past not a prison, but a proving ground.

You are not your mistakes. You are the hand that rebuilds, the heart that bleeds, the mind that refuses to bend. You are alive, unbroken, relentless—and the world, for all its venom, cannot define you.
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