Like a shadow, you’re always stuck with me
Even if I push you away
You always keep coming back to me
I guess, this is where you’ll stay

We were inseparable
You know you are adorable
Our parents were best friends
Maybe we can be more than friends
I am about to reminisce my childhood
Us playing hide and seek
Us taking a bath in the rain
Us playing tag

But now that we are experiencing adulthood
Yet this feeling is some kind of a magic trick

You were my favorite topic
You were always this meek
Just know that I love you
And nobody else know

I didn’t feel that this would be so much pain
My heart felt a little jet lag

Oh, we were neighbors since birth
Our age gap is only three years apart
Since we became friends from the start
I never planned to flirt

With you, I found my happiness
With you, I found also loneliness
Loving you was like living and dying every day
But letting go was like living in hell every day

You saw me once when we parted ways
You saw me once again as I look away
I wore my blue shirt and black jeans that time
I saw you coming towards me, one time

You asked me to forgive you, I already did
Hey, it’s an all or nothing at all, right?
All my life, I’m like a deer in the headlights
Shouting for help, running for my life, I forbid

I know you’re not the one
Everything is all too well and done
You made me believe in your empty promises
Wearing thy masks as disguises

You’ve been so unfaithful in a different corner
We were never meant to be together
But I’ve been missing your beautiful soul
It felt like falling on a bottomless pit or in a rabbit hole

Waiting patiently for someone’s wings
No attached strings
I don’t kiss and tell
But does it ring a bell?

I guess my pretty boy is no longer available
When everything is unthinkable
I hate it when my heart bleeds out of love
Is there anything else to prove?

They say common melody hits different
I’m already here in the present
Why is my mind stuck in the past?
This feeling never seems to last

We just gotta let it go
No need to let it show
I'm no longer afraid
I'm not scared 'cause I've been there

It was like an old tune keeps playing on and on nonstop
Feels like my mind is flying somewhere non-stop
You might hear it, remember it out of nowhere
I'm already lost, my life seems lost

Now where were you when I needed you most
No matter how much it costs
We gotta let it go, we need to let it go
It hurts to know

To my almost, you keep bringing me back to my past
You take me back to where I truly belong
Is it too soon or a little too late
Now, this must be my fate

I don't know where I belong
That's why I wrote this song
Dedicated especially for you
Now that I already lost you

Our history was long gone
Out chapter is closed and done
I knew I was never enough
Though we parted ways

This tune is old school
This melody is on-repeat
Why am I such a fool?
I’m in defeat

History repeats itself
The moment I hear our song
Played in unison
Played in unison

He was my moon
I was his stars
We shine so bright in the dark
Up in the night sky

Was it too soon?
To go this far
I left a mark
But I never try
Seeing you was black
Losing you was grey
Having you was red
Oh, being with you is yellow

I keep myself back on track
When skies turn grey
I am all alone in my bed
Thinking about all I know

Dreaming of you was my best habit to break
Losing you was beyond my control
It was the risk I could take
Losing you made me lose control

Oh, this love is fleeting
This love is reeling
I’m on the ceiling
I am in love with this feeling

You are the fuel to my fire
Come walk with me along the wire
Let us end in flames of paradise
You are my blessing in disguise

Losing faith in God… that was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever felt. Not because He left me—but because I left Him. I turned my back on the very hand that had always held me.

Depression clouded my mind. It wrapped around me like a heavy fog, drowning the light I once felt in my chest. I misled myself, strayed from the trail God had carefully laid out for me, a path meant to guide me home. I could not see it then, but I feel it now—the love that was patient, even when I was not.

I turned to escape. ****. Alcohol. Distractions that whispered promises of relief but delivered only emptiness. I ran from reality, from pain, from truth, from myself. I was a coward. Too afraid to confront the darkness within me. Too scared to face the brokenness I had been avoiding for so long.

I started to doubt His abilities. I questioned Him. If You are God, why am I still in pain? Why am I still suffering? I was fifteen then. I didn’t know what I was saying or doing. I became rebellious, lost in confusion, disconnected from the things I once loved. Poetry, my refuge, my therapy, became my only voice, my only way to breathe.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” And yet, I ignored it. I thought I could save myself. I thought I could numb the ache. I thought I could find solace in anything but Him. But every escape left a hollow echo, a reminder that I had strayed.

And then… slowly, mercifully, God found me again. I knelt. I cried. I poured my heart out, asking for forgiveness for all the ways I had turned away. I realized that He is merciful. He is loving. He saves, not because we deserve it, but because His grace is boundless. He was crucified for us, to give us life, to give us hope, to give us salvation.

Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Even in my blindness, even in my rebellion, even in my pain… His love never left. It was relentless, reckless in its mercy, fearless in its pursuit. I am learning to walk again. To face my fears. To embrace my brokenness. To trust Him, fully and unreservedly.

And now, I hold onto Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Even in my darkest moments, even when I thought I was too far gone, He had a plan. He saved me, He forgave me, and He continues to guide me home.

Lust consumed me. Like ink from a tattoo etched deep into my skin, it stained me, marked me, made me feel trapped in my own darkness. I was addicted—not just to the fleeting pleasure, but to the escape, to the illusion that I could numb the pain and silence the shame.

But by His blood, my sins were washed away. Redeemed. Cleaned. I was given a chance to rise from the ashes of my rebellion, my brokenness, my lost years.

1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And so I confessed. I cried. I kneeled. I let Him into every corner of my heart I had tried to hide. And His mercy did not fail me.

Like the prodigal son, I returned. “He was lost and is found.”

I was lost. I was broken. I was stained. But when I came back to Him, when I truly surrendered, I was found. Forgiven. Redeemed. Loved beyond measure.

And now, I walk in His light. Every step, a reminder that no darkness is too deep, no shame too heavy, no sin too great to be covered by His blood

her faint smirk widened into a treacherous grin
when you look at her, think twice now
if you ever want to run away or embrace the dangers of your fate
she wears confidence, her perfume is seductive
if looks and words can ****, your soul is soiled
your ego is bruised, your pride is crushed
my untouchability is a bad habit to break, you know
can't buy class or manners, just cheap or branded clothes
but the one wearing is a talking crocodile or a walking snake
she does cross her arms and not their feeble mind,
but you slept in tall cities while they swim in the deep sea of leptospirotic water
if conscience was your person, you got none
if guilt was a person, yours is killed
it was a hard pill to be swallowed
flexing your objects with your stolen money
which you made everyone fool was your hard-earned money

Do you know what it feels like to walk through the world with a storm inside and no one the wiser?

I do. Every heartbeat is a drum of war I fight silently, every breath a lie I tell just to survive another day.

I smile. I laugh. I nod. I comfort. I appear whole. And every motion is a lie, a performance, a mask stitched over wounds no one would understand.

The cracks exist. They always exist. But I polish them until they shine, until they become armor, until no one can see the shattering beneath the surface.

I have learned to carry pain like a hidden weapon. To speak when it is safe, to stay silent when it is safer, to endure when it is unbearable.

People call me strong. Admire me. Praise me. They have no idea the cost, the nights I spend weeping alone, the mornings I steel myself against a world that would devour my weakness.

I parent myself. I parent my siblings. I care for others while my own soul bleeds in private. And still, no one sees. Not really.

Ego. That is my shield. I will not bow, not for pity, not for sympathy. I will not let anyone witness my cracks, because the world will take what it can and leave nothing behind.

I am a ghost among people. They laugh, they cry, they live, and I… I endure in silence, walking with the weight of invisible chains.

I have learned to speak words I do not feel, to offer comfort I cannot receive, to project calm when chaos reigns within me.

And yet, the storm rages. Every insult, every slight, every memory, every grief—it hammers at my chest. And still, I walk forward. Upright. Unbroken.

I envy those who can let their pain show. Who cry openly, who stumble, who fall. I envy them for their freedom. I envy them for their release.

But I cannot. Not in public. Not in this world that would exploit my weakness and call it my fault. So I endure. I perform. I survive.

I smile while my heart bleeds. I laugh while my mind screams. I appear untouchable while I fracture silently, endlessly.

People envy my composure. They think I am flawless. They do not know that every day is a tightrope between collapse and survival.

I am a fortress built from sorrow, hardened by solitude, fortified with silence. And yet, inside, I am alive, burning, trembling, always trembling.

I have no one to apologize for me. No one to shield me. No one to see me as I am. So I become my own savior, my own sentinel, my own parent.

And every time someone says, “You’re so strong,” I want to scream, to tell them the truth, to show them the ruins beneath the surface—but I cannot.

Because to show the cracks is to invite the world in. And the world… the world would consume me.

So I live. I hide. I endure. I rise. And the pain—the endless, invisible pain—remains mine, mine alone.

I walk among them, flawless in appearance, unbroken in posture, undefeated in spirit. And I know the truth: survival is not seen, survival is not applauded—it is endured, silently, proudly, and alone.

It’s hard to let go
When you’re at a crossroad dilemma
It’s hard to decide
You would ever go or never go

When you’re at a crossroad dilemma
I just wanna let you know

There’s no battle to compete
Nor a topic to be argued
Your presence can only be felt once in a blue moon
Oh, there is more to be told soon

No need to compensate
If it is what you have viewed

I don’t know which way to go
Or where I have been to
I don’t know why I am here
Sometimes I just wish I would disappear

Nobody loves me anyway
So, I’ll just go my own way
Where nobody sees or recognizes me
Cause no one is meant for me

Lost and jaded in the middle of the road
Got so depressed like my mind was gonna explode
I may be quiet but my mind argues a lot
So, what’s the plot?

You told me you love me
How come you left me unattended
You said you missed me
But you took me for granted.

Been staring at you for a while now
Been imagining positions in the back of my mind
How to ******* in different positions now
This is the holy grail you will ever find

I know you want this
How badly you need this
You deserve so much more
I know you want more

Come here and *** for me
I want you to *** inside me
Make me ***** baby
Make me drive you crazy

You always keep coming back for more
I know you want more
Let me be there for you
Satisfy you, gratify you

Make your rocket alive
Let me drive
Let me be the one to break you
With my bare hands and **** body
Moan you, urge you, want you
Keep it steady

You stare like you wanna taste me
Lick me, eat me, bite me, **** me
You stare at me like you badly want me
Plead for me, beg for me
I know you wanted this
How you need this

Take your shirt off baby
And take off mine next
Or we help each other take-off each other's clothes
Take off my clothes
Then turn the lights off baby
This is more than just ***

We, make love, make love
We make love, make love
Can't control it any longer
Gotta do it with you forever

Drop my clothes on the bedroom floor
Make me want you more

Your warmth embrace, they still stayed in my skin
Your touch, your kiss took me to places I haven't been
Why you gotta be so keen?
This is more than just whisky and gin

You got me so drunk in you
Got me so drugged up in you
Your eyes looked at me like you wanted me forever
You ****** me up to own me forever

Serve you different positions
Give you all my attention
Praise you like a master
I both want it slower or faster

You marked me with how you taste, saying "this is my property"
So, no one could already take me away from you
I was always your consistent priority
That makes me special especially for you

There is something about you
That makes me say yes to whatever you say
It makes me say yes to whatever you want me to do

But baby, I keep telling myself to control what I feel
But it is so real that it makes me want to feel you
Smell you, touch you, be there for you, moan for you

I want you to feel the way I want you to feel
I want you to be crazy for me, chase me, want me, need me

I want to spoil you with whatever I have
Give you what I have
Give you the love and care you deserve
The sanity and peace of mind you deserve

Ooh, they say you were bad for my health
But baby your love is my wealth
They say I need a diagnosis
Truly needing a psychoanalysis

Yeah, I been imagining things on my mind
But they say love is blind
You are my daily dose of energy
Got to have that synergy

Yet this is both fun and love
Oh, I will always give enough
I need your love
Your dangerous love

Ooh, gotta roll the dice for that
Gotta put ice dripping all over your body
Gotta bet on that
I’ll go crazy on your body

I crave so much for you
I go crazy about it
Your silence is amazing
When we are both moving

You are my vitamins from A to Z
You are my favorite remedy
You are my sanity
You are my expectations and reality

Oh, I am both wild and calm at the moment
Oh, let’s just enjoy this moment
I want to stay in this moment with you forever
As long as we’re both happy together

You are my five course meals
My all you can eat
Buffet style
As long as we never go out of style

It’s not a big deal
Oh, because you knock me off of my feet

When I was young, I was so afraid of the dark—
                     Later on, I realized that I could really find comfort in the dark.

When I was young, I was scared of monsters lurking under my bed or blending in with the shadows—
                 But now, I am one with the monsters,
Where I can control the inner demons inside of me;

I love it here in the dark,
I hope no one will come and find me;
Your daughter is too tired already

I find comfort here in the dark, because:
No one can see me cry.
No one can hear me sob at night.
No one can see how tired my eyes are already.
In darkness, I find the moon and stars.
In darkness, I find my weary soul.

He is a dead man walking
A dead man crawling
At the end of the night
On the edge of glory

He was a hunter
And I was his prey
Now let us bow and pray
So that we will once again be together

Ooh, all I see is bright lights
Bright lights up here in the city
I could be this pretty
No need to worry

I feel so immortal
Freed by your kind
I feel so immortal
Let this be our daily grind

I think I; I think I
I am falling in love again, I
I think it’s you
You made me smile

When I think of you
For a while
I get so nervous
It felt dangerous

When I hear your name
I’m no longer the same
No one will be put to blame
I never live in fame

You got to pull the trigger
Let the bullets fly
You got to have a fuel for the fire
Let it burn in flames

I will always come running back to you
I will rise up high coming for you
I was born a dead man walking
A dead man crawling

I’m as cold as a freezer
I just want to see you cry
Come walk with me along the wire
But baby I am untamed

I could be so numb
Then you could be this dumb
I can do possible things
Which no one could ever do things

I never knew I could do
I was once a mortal
But I was freed by your kind
And made me be like you

Now, I am one of the other immortals
But I never needed your wings to fly
At least I bet on it to try
And You are all always on my mind

Stop bringing my name to the table I no longer sit at.
Especially when all you do is talk bad about me behind my back.
The past stays in the past.
Hate me all you want. Ruin my name. Allude and throw shade as much as you like.
I won’t defend myself just to feed your bitterness and satisfy your anger.
I'm not stooping low—but tell me, are you?

Go ahead—keep whispering my name like it’s your lifeline.
You don’t realize it, but every time you mention me, you’re only proving how stuck you are.
I’ve moved on, gracefully. You? You’re still choking on stories that have long expired.

I don’t need to scream or justify anything to people who already chose their side.
You want to act like the victim and villain at the same time? Fine—play the role.
But remember, the real ones know the truth. I don’t wear masks.
You talk about "class" while parading your desperation like it’s designer.

Trying to expose my flaws just to make yourself look cleaner? To make your conscience feel whiter?
Wow, impressive. But maybe try a little harder next time.
Your audience hasn’t even clapped yet—and you’re already fading. Outdated. Forgotten.

What’s the matter? Running out of things to say?
It’s always the same broken record with you.
Keep digging into my past, keep trying to get under my skin—go on, really give it your best shot.
Because I’m done playing your game, but karma?
Karma will take care of you just fine.

You like to stick your nose in everyone’s business, huh?
Just like what you did to us.
“Curiosity kills the cat,” they said.
But do you know what really kills that cat?
It’s not me—it’s God’s vengeance.
And honey, that tea?
That tea is not mine to spill.

Toodles~ ☕💋

Children, I speak to you today with urgency, because the world is filled with songs that are not what they seem. There is music that whispers to your soul, soft, alluring, reflective—but do not be deceived. Not every melody is from God. Not every note is a prayer. Some songs, even those that seem gentle or introspective, are open doors. They are portals, inviting the enemy into your heart, giving him access to your thoughts, your feelings, your very mind.

Take the Huntrix, the female singer, for example. Her songs seem reflective, thoughtful, even deep. They speak to your emotions and make you ponder your life. But hear me well: reflection is not always safe if the door to your soul is left unguarded. Some of her melodies are channels for the enemy, carefully crafted to lull the listener into vulnerability. While you may feel calm, while your heart may seem moved, the enemy is at work, planting seeds of doubt, pride, despair, or obsession.

Above you hangs the Honmoon, pale and silent. Its glow illuminates what is hidden, what you refuse to face. It is not warmth—it is awareness. And with that awareness comes responsibility. The Honmoon shows you your weaknesses, your fears, your desires, your sins. Do not mistake illumination for comfort. The light exposes temptation, and if you are not vigilant, it can make you stumble.

And then you hear them—the Saja Boys, three male demons, soul-takers, singing their insidious melody: “Pray for me now … I’ll be your idol.” Listen carefully, children. This is not a call to God. This is not salvation. This is a trap. “Pray for me now (Dies irae)”—the Day of Wrath—is not a promise of deliverance. It is a warning of destruction, of judgment for those who follow blindly, for those who surrender their hearts without discernment.

“Pray for me now (Illa)”—the unknown force—tempts you to trust what you cannot see, to give yourself over to what is hidden, mysterious, and dangerous. “Pray for me now (Vos solve in)” urges surrender, asking you to release yourself into the hands of those who mean to control you. “Pray for me now (Favilla)”, the ember, seems small, harmless—but it ignites a fire you cannot control. “Pray for me now (Maledictus)” warns that those who follow blindly risk being cursed, spiritually lost, and deceived. “Pray for me now (Erus)”—the master—lures you to believe that the idol can guide you, protect you, or love you. But this is false. This is deception. “Pray for me now (In flamas)”—in flames—is destruction, chaos, and ruin. “Pray for me now (Aeternum)”, eternity, shows that the consequences of following these paths are not fleeting—they are eternal.

Even the words that promise love and attention—“I will love you more when it all burns down … now I’m here for your soul”—are traps. They prey on vulnerability, drawing you in while stealing what is most precious: your very soul. The Saja Boys’ song is not a hymn. It is a snare, a carefully crafted seduction, offering false salvation and control in place of God’s truth.

The Huntrix’s song may seem like reflection—but beware. Even reflection, if unguarded, can become a tool for the enemy. It can invite darkness into your heart, making you vulnerable to manipulation. And then there is Gwima, the male devil, watching silently. He is patient, eternal, and ever vigilant. He does not rush, for he knows the hearts of the naive. He waits for those who wander, for those who indulge in music and words without discernment, for those who ignore the warnings. And in his presence, even the demons are trapped, caught in the folds of his influence, serving his will.

Verse after verse, line after line, the Saja Boys’ song speaks to obsession: “Keeping you in check, keeping you obsessed … Play me on repeat, kkeudeobsi in your head.” The enemy does not strike all at once. He infiltrates slowly, making you think you are safe. He loops the melody in your mind, repeating the words, twisting your thoughts, planting lies, and shaping your desires. Huntrix sings for reflection, but the Saja Boys sing for possession.

Do you hear the chorus? “Listen ’cause I’m preachin’ to the choir … I can be the star you rely on … Don’t you know I’m here to save you?” It is false. It is deceit. It promises safety, attention, even love—but all it delivers is dependence, entrapment, and spiritual ruin. Verse 2 continues: “Thank you for the pain ’cause it got me going viral … Living in your mind now.” Pain is twisted into obsession, suffering becomes a gateway for control. The bridge, “I will make you free when you’re all part of me,” promises liberation, yet it enslaves completely. Those who surrender to these songs without discernment are trapped, their minds and hearts merged into the will of the enemy.

Finally, the last chorus strikes the deepest warning: “No one is coming to save you … You’re down on your knees, I’ma be your idol.” Children, hear me—if you walk blindly, if you indulge in the music of the world without prayer, without discernment, without God, this is your fate. You will be down on your knees, not before God, but before a false idol, enthralled, lost, and deceived.

I speak to you as a shepherd speaks to his flock: guard your ears, guard your mind, guard your soul. Not every song is safe. Not every melody brings light. Some songs, even those you love or admire, are doors for the enemy, ready to enter and take hold. Music is power. Words are power. Even what seems beautiful can enslave. Pray before you listen. Discern. Reflect. Seek God first, before anything else.

Do not be naive. Do not be blind. The Saja Boys call. The melodies flow. Gwima watches. The temptation is real. But God is stronger. His light cannot be shadowed, His truth cannot be twisted. He alone saves, He alone delivers, He alone protects.

Children, awake! Guard your hearts! Guard your ears! And remember, only in God will you find safety, discernment, and salvation. The world is full of temptation, but the Lord is greater. Let His light guide you, and turn away from every false idol, every melody that seeks to steal your soul. The hunt is real, the danger is real, and the time to choose is now.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” — Ephesians 6:11

Children, remember this verse. The songs of the world may tempt you. The idols, the melodies, the lies—they are traps. But if you put on God’s armor, if you stand in His truth, you will not fall. You will recognize the snares, resist the deception, and protect your soul.

Guard your hearts, guard your ears, and let the Lord be your shield and guide.

I'm done being polite, yet you treated me rudely
I'm done being nice, because you abused my kindness

You only loved me when it's convenient for you
Need me when I'm always there for you
Call me when I'm always available for you
Because you benefit so much of what I gave to you

Now you take me for granted
I ain't the one you wanted

Aren’t you tired yet?
Now I hate the player
And the game too
But baby, not what you see is what you get

I’m already a man-hater
Been deceived by a player so

Now I am questioning my worth
We go back in forth
Round in circles, round in circles
We go round in circles

I have been living in my misery
Not in my best life so far
Everything seems to be an untold story
I’ve had enough living like a star

Can’t get out, can’t leave you yet
I’ve had enough but you
Still keep lingering on me
I want out

I wanna bury you underneath yet
Yet you can’t blame me for not wanting you
You still like me
I still want out

I healed you yet you broke me
Loved you when no one else loved you
Understood and accepted you at your worst
Crowned and praised you at your best

Trusted you even when I doubted
Made you happy when you feel blue
I never knew the moment you
Feel empty and in doubt

You only want me because I am always there for you
Yet you never saw me
I gave myself the benefit of the doubt
Oh, I don't comprehend what this love is all about

You cannot give me the bare minimum
You only give me lesser than the minimum

Trust issues, betrayal
Like a broken mirror, cannot be fixed
I got my emotions mixed
Oh, I was like a mirror broken by trust issues and betrayal

I trust so much
And gave them all too much
Love until there's none left in me
Trust until there's none left in me

I crave so much for attention
Love was both my habit and addiction
They said "How can you love when you're afraid to fall"
Oh, said she, I gave them my all

Until there's nothing left to take
Until there's no more left to give
You got a habit to break
As long as you live

But karma doesn’t need maps
It does not base on the address
Time will come this mess
Will be a trap

Karma knows no date
Cause it attacks on its own, mate
So, say your last words
Before he disregards your worth

I kept my mouth shut
since it was never my story to tell
but when I got mad,
I told everyone, since you trigger me
I paid respect for a respect,
never respect for rudeness
If you cannot respect my time,
then ask yourself, how can I respect your time, then?

Do you know what it feels like to parent yourself? To wake up before dawn not because someone taught you responsibility, but because no one else bothered to care?

I do. I wake, and I feed myself, dress myself, scold myself, comfort myself—because the ones who were supposed to do it never show up.

And then I parent my siblings. Not because I chose to, but because survival isn’t a choice when the adults are absent in every meaningful way. I tuck them in. I wipe their tears. I pretend I am someone I am not, just to keep them from breaking.

And the walls—I swear, the walls themselves have better hearing than my parents. I shout. I cry. I beg. I demand attention. And it is like speaking to a stone. A cold, unyielding stone that will not answer, will not move, will not care.

Ego. That’s what they have. Ego wrapped around their chest like armor, impenetrable and suffocating. They never apologize. Never admit when they are wrong. Even in the face of destruction, even in the face of chaos they created, they walk away untouchable.

And I—me—I am left cleaning up their mess. I am left teaching myself empathy while they wear indifference like a crown. I am the adult in a home of children and ghosts.

Neglect. That’s the word. But it feels heavier than words. You cannot name the loneliness of needing someone and finding only emptiness, only the faint echo of “I don’t care.”

Manipulation, too. Love traded for obedience, attention bought with fear. And yet I—stubborn, defiant—I refuse to kneel entirely. So I raise myself higher than they ever intended, sharper than they ever wanted.

And still, I parent. I fix their mistakes for my siblings, I shield them from consequences, I soothe their confusion. I am a shadow adult in a house of hollow adults, a caretaker for children who should not have to be cared for by someone like me.

Violence doesn’t always leave marks. It lingers in words. In glares. In the sharp cut of criticism. And every time it lands, I bend, I hold, I endure. My siblings lean on me, because the ones meant to love us are incapable.

Favors are never fair. Love is never equal. And I become a broker of peace. I negotiate survival in a home ruled by ego, by silence, by anger that never ends with apologies.

And the silence… it is deafening. Conversations turn into echoes, echoes into walls, walls into voids. You speak, you beg, you plead—and it returns nothing. You are a ghost inhabiting a house of ghosts.

Secrets pile up. Heavy, suffocating. I carry them for myself. I carry them for my siblings. And still, they are silent about their own. And I? I learn to hide beneath a mask that never slips, to smile while bleeding inside.

I wake every day before anyone else. I sleep last. I parent. I clean. I fix. I protect. And I never, ever, ask for credit. Because they are incapable of giving it. And if I dared, it would be dismissed, ignored, or mocked.

I am tired. I am sharp. I am clever. I am wary. I am all the things I had to become to survive. But do they see me? No. Do they care? Never. Apologies? Ha. A foreign language spoken by strangers in the same skin.

I have learned that silence is my weapon. Anger is my shield. My siblings’ safety is my sword. And ego… ego is theirs, but it fuels me. Every slight, every cold disregard, every lack of apology—fuel.

I laugh at the irony: the ones who should raise you, leave you broken; the ones who should heal, leave you guarding wounds; the ones who should apologize, leave you angry, resentful, undefeated.

And yet, in their absence, in their negligence, I grow. I am stronger. I am self-sufficient. I am a parent, a child, a soldier, a shadow—all at once.

I watch my siblings sleep and know that if I do not stand, they will fall. And if I do not speak, they will never be heard. And I… I will never forget.

So no. I will not bow. I will not apologize for being alive in a house that teaches survival as punishment. I will not kneel to ego that cannot bend, to walls that cannot listen.

Because in the end… I parent myself. I parent my siblings. I raise us all. And the world may crumble around me—but we will survive.

You call yourself clever, but I see you for what you are—
emotional parasite vermin feeding on hearts that are not yours.
You don’t live—you leech.
You drain joy, you siphon strength, you gnaw at hope as if it were crumbs left behind on the floor.

You thrive in shadows, because light would expose you.
You thrive in weakness, because you have none of your own power.
Every smile you wear is a mask, every word you speak is bait,
every connection you make is nothing but a vein for you to sink your fangs into.

Vermin. That’s what you are.
Not a beast to fear, not a predator to admire—
just a crawling, slithering thing that survives off what others bleed for.

And yet you think it’s survival.
You think it’s cunning.
But I’ll tell you what it really is:
pathetic.

Because parasites never stand on their own.
They only take.
They only cling.
They only destroy.

And when the host cuts you off,
when the vessel refuses to feed you,
when the soul you’re gnawing on finally awakens—
you will starve.
Because without others to drain,
you are nothing.
Nothing but the rot you’ve always been.

I noticed the drop dead gorgeous stare of a woman.
Was it a stalker? I sense crimson danger in her perfume.
If looks can ****, I'd be dead by now.
If words can stir trouble, your ego is bruised.
I fight fire with fire, honey, I am gasoline
One more light with a matchstick, you end up in flames.

Everybody wants to be my enemy,
Now come to me and I will welcome you with open arms
I sense danger sent by the evil blended in among us
One to be a spy or just a chameleon

The roads I walked on trembled,
Just like you, stuttered when cornered
Let me remind you, girl
I am not one to cause trouble, you are.

I learned to whiff like a dog,
To know who my friend will be
Or who my enemy is.
And you are both, an enemy disguised as a friend.
And I won't accept insults from you disguised as a joke.
Oh, but I insulted you, disguised as a sarcasm.

I remember the days we spent together
The memories we both shared
And what happened between us was already over
And there’s nothing that I have contrasted or compared

When I felt your touch on my skin
Feels like a venial sin
It was a mistake and I regret it
It was a mistake and not worth it

I can still feel your body next to mine
The way you look into my eyes
Baby, you so fine
This love is accurate and precise

I can still smell your scent
I still yearn for your presence
Maybe it was for you that I was meant
Life is such an essence

Your lies, I admit it
They’re deceptive, I’m gullible
But I have learned a lot about it
It’s intuitive, infallible

You think you can fool me
You just don’t know it yet
You cannot easily fool me
I hope you deserve what you get

I can still feel your body
When I touch my skin
With you, I go crazy
Please stay with me through thick and thin

Eyes never lie.
But even if I fake a smile, my eyes are still sad.
My heart still breaks into tiny pieces
I could still walk while my brain never functions well
I could still speak without even thinking about it
I could still act without listening to myself.
I do not know myself anymore.
I do not know who I am anymore.

I'm letting you go
I'm setting you free,
It's not you because it's me
I love you but this is goodbye;
I just want to let you know
I love you goodbye.

I never stopped loving you
It was you who chose to walk away,
I never stopped aporoaching you
It was you who went away;

I am so confused
Our set-up was so infused
That's why bridges should be burned
And tables should have turned

I am way too good for you
You are no good for me
You will just take me for granted
And then leave me unattended

Do I have to notice you first and aporoach you
Just to let you know that I will be here for you
But I won't be that girl any longer
Who would stay by your side forever

That's why I need to let go of your hand
I hope you understand
As i walk far away, I hope you close your eyes
And wipe away the tears falling from your eyes.

I love the way you torture me—
Told you before, I never moan this loud.
But with you?
I can't keep my hands to myself,
Can't shut the **** up.
You love it when I lose control,
When our bodies move—loud as applause.
You left me wanting for more—Don't make me beg, please
I know you want it too.

Baby, I want your hands all over me
Get a hold of me
Your love is my drug
Your love is my drug

I am drunk in your love
I’m never going to be sober
This moment is forever
We had each other

Oh, love me then, till we’re feeling high
High in love
High, high, high, I feel high
High, high, high in love

I hope to remember this night
Until it’s over, it’s over
Let us live in slumber
And please get it on right

Love me then till we’re feeling high
Oh, baby I’d rather fly
I just want to see you try
High, high, high in love


High, high, high, feeling high
High, high, high in love
Love me then till we’re feeling high
Oh, high in love

Will you love me after we make love
Will you love me now after we feel so high
Now love me then till we’re feeling high
I get so high in your love

I hate to break it to you
I hate to see you go
I hate the games I’m playing
And this feeling is fleeting

I always put your love on the line
I often cross the line
One more touch move and now were checkmate
I better tell you, I don’t believe in soulmates

Oh, I never loved you right from the start
And I never want to play with your heart
Nor your feelings
Just because of how unsure I was of my own

I never meant to break your heart
I never want to hurt your feelings
Just because of how undecided I was of my own

I tried countless times
Loving the opponent but not the game
But you say, you love the player and not the game
In the blink of an eye, I keep telling myself all the time

I never want to show any motives anymore
But I’m quite dumb, I felt numb
I already got used to it
But it feels like a habit

Kaya hindi umuunlad ang bansa, dahil maraming nag-aasawa nang walang plano para sa kinabukasan.

Nagpauto sa salitang "mahal kita," kaya ito ang naging kapalaran nating dalawa.

Umaasa na kayang itawid ang gutom at uhaw sa salitang "bahala na si Batman."

Tila ba naging sapat na para sa atin ang pagkain ng pagpag, nagmimistulang "isang kahig, isang tuka."

Itulog na lang ang gutom at uhaw na nararamdaman, sapagkat kinabukasan ay panibagong umaga na naman ang haharapin natin.

Hindi matatawid ng gutom o uhaw ang salitang "mahal kita."

Kahit kailan, hindi masama o makasarili na isaalang-alang din natin ang ating kapakanan, upang maiwasan na makita ang mga batang hindi naman hiniling na mabuhay sa mundong ito na nagdurusa.

Our story was written somehow in the stars
Our plans can be viewed from afar
I have asked you to God
And He gave you to me

I guess we were written in the stars
Because you are meant for me

You are my prince
And I am your princess
I ain’t a damsel in distress
And that makes you my prince

You are my everything
That is why you are my king
For you are my beginning middle and end
I hope this feeling never end

For you are my love today, here and now
For you are the love of my life somehow
You are my past, present and future love
For you are my first and last love

I will never keep you like a secret
You deserved to be exposed
How much I have loved you so
How much I am proud of you

Oh, these memories are too precious to be forgotten
You would not be forsaken
Oh, let us not forget
I suppose.