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100 · Aug 2020
Sleep My child
Alex Aug 2020
It's okay...
It's alright...
sleep my child
you'll be just fine...
just close your eyes
and sleep my child
escape the pain
for just a little while
i know its hard-
hard to believe
that its okay
to fall asleep
i know you're scared
that if you close your eyes
it'll be your fault
when someone dies
but you're not the reason
it wasn't your fault
but you can't keep them alive
with water and salt
so sleep my child
i'll hold you near
things will get better...
just trust me my dear
how i imagne someone who cared about me would talk to me
86 · Sep 2020
What it feels like..
Alex Sep 2020
Today I looked in the mirror
and I didn't recognize
the face staring back at me
with its cold and tired eyes
purple bags and messy hair
didn't sleep too well last night
lying eyes wide open in my bed
with no ******* end in sight...

now my demons chase me in the dark
running through my ****** up head
screaming out the hurtful things
that some of you have said
no matter how much I try
I can't rid them from my mind
so i scream and scream but nothing comes out...

and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

tossing and turning in my sheets
can't seem to catch my breath
sweat is pouring down my back
but I'm still as cold as death
close my eyes and count to ten
try to calm my thoughts
i left my heart wide open again
and i guess this was the cost

i hurt myself again tonight
tho i said i wouldn't
tried to make myself drop the knife...
but i just couldn't
and my parents won't stop yelling
they're fighting cuz of me
tho I know that I'm not worth it
i just wish that I could breathe...
and it all just feels like...

and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

im not alright
i wanna be fine
just wish i could
shut off my mind
and get to the point
where i cross the line
and im okay again...
but will that ever happen?

and it all just feels like...
and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

yeah thats what it feels like
i wrote this after a friend gave me the idea.. the parents part is past tense but I've been there.. all of this is something I've felt at one point or continue to feel
24 · 2h
Passive Ideation
Alex 2h
How easy would it be to drown?
in the murky water
of a long abandoned river
To swim down down down
Until you can’t hold your breath any more
And when you try to swim up
You don’t make it in time
It was an accident of course.
You’re not crazy. You’re not.
How easy would it be to step?
Into a busy road
right into oncoming traffic
To step close close closer
And forget to look both ways
You didn’t see the car coming
You didn’t hear it
It was an accident of course.
You’re not crazy. You’re not.
A passing thought or a whisper in the wind

— The End —