my fear
is that no one will ever care
like i do

i will cling to what is real
authentic moments will not be replaced
my greatest disappointments
are also my greatest qualities
so i will hold on
and maybe one day someone will hold on too

i’m tired
of fighting so **** hard
for the happiness
that everyone tells me i deserve

i feel lost
but have i ever been found?

forever lost in the vastness of my mind most every word it utters is unkind
unsure if processing is the right process
only time will show, i guess

a sense of meaning i hold in my heart
it was there right from the start
with whom i will always relate
will i ever be understood for this state?

my mind felt infinitely understood
as much as it seemed it could
for a mere five minutes
hopefully it will again, to the finish

i will not completely crumble
but i will not become any less
of who i am

if i sunk into nothing
would anybody care?
i just wish i could be something
could this darkness let me up for air?

the world feels like an illusion
and i know i sound crazy for that
i’m sitting in a cloud of confusion
letting it out here, is where i’m at