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A rest stop outside of Richmond VA.

The sun is bright and annoying as **** as usal the woman pull's up  in a brand new Mustang
cherry red gleams in the parking lot.
She's living the life but hey sometimes when ya stop to take a restroom break ***** happens.

Halfway back to Carolina me and my loyal hetro companion Bone.
Are doing what two full blooded American men would do riding like bats outta hell
going through this womans cd collection Alanis Morrisett dear lord man do they hand these ******* out as soon as they get there periods?

But isnt it ironic dont ya think?
Flying down the interstate music blasting beers gathering on the floor like brainless ***** at a
Justin Bieber concert.
I gaze into the rearview only to come to realize like weirdos in a schoolyard we are not alone.

Looking at from the backseat appeared to be some sort of old ****** in a diper hey ***** but whatever
floats your boat jesus these flashbacks are getting to be hell.

My amigo slash  fellow tripper of the light fantastic was in  a trance already
into track seven you oughta know the brainwashing was a ******* dam lesbian **** front!
Even I was fighting the urge to go to the lilth fair and stop shaving but the fellas
were so against the natural look oh snap.

Bone dear lord snap outta it were not in a movie thearter!
Sorry Gonz what the ***** up ?
Well my mexican amigo I belive theres a little perve dwarf in the backseat that or that acid
crazy Larry sold me really is kicking my ****.

Looking at me like most do with that strange since of hey should i just get out here
or go with the trip he looked for a second.
Silent in a awkward sense like when my prom date caught me masterbaiting in her closet the night befor
hey it looked better on me anyways  yeah dont ask.

Bone finally spoke you crazy ***** it's a ******* kid **** we stole a ******* kid were so ******.
Jesus we had both been so safe how was i gonna explain this i thought deeply then finally
took a detor from my usal insanity to do something i seldom do.
Think.  

Well Bone looks like were gonna have to get a abortion.
It's already born *******.
My deep thinking and total drunk amigo made a good point it would get kinda messy.

Well maybe we can check it's collar or drop it in the post office box or even a dumpster
hey dont knock it thats where momma gonzo misplaced me strippers there so care free
and total ***** im just saying but enough  bout Katy Perry

Dude are you totally ****** nuts?
It was at that moment the little bald man began to cry.
Bone calm down cant you see your upsetting it Jesus wheres my manners give him this.

Gonz dude it's my last one.
Bone had a point but this little hairless doorstop needed to take the edge off so
the beer was his.

Miles passed as we thought what to do but with this little jumping bean
it wasnt gonna be easy getting into the ******* or getting him a fake ID.
course we could always say he was that dwarf from Austin Powers
But hey even I had some morals the poor little ******* had it bad enough let alone to be connected
to Mike Myers im just saying.

The ride to grandma Gonzos chop shop proved to long for my two drunken companions hey it was past Bones bed time after all he starts drinking at 6 am  .
I gazed down apon the little amigo as he slept so peaceful must have just had a ******* ahh memories.

Then Bone finally came to Gonz what the **** dude I told you stop cuddling with me people are gonna talk!
Like they havent already just go with it and yes I am happy to see you.
After a brief fight and some make up hugs and cookies mmm cookies and ****** harassment it goes togather like poetry and misery winning.

Gonz where the hell is the kid?
My friend seemed concerned I wonder did these two have something going on
yeah maybe that was it hmmm never trust a drunk or a bald headed dwarf in a diper
but grandpa wasnt all that bad.

Gonz wheres the baby !
The sound of the car being crushed made it hard to hear yet still I could here jagged little pill
playing ranting bout what true ****** men were amen to that sister.
Jesus that Canadian ***** died hard!

  Gonz !
Finally I snapped outta my trance oh yeah that dwarf dont worry he's in the trunk.
The trunk! The ******* trunk!
Hey dont worry I left him some beer and penuts jesus man calm down must been his time of the month.

Bone was frantic like when he herd there wasa beer truck overturned on the interstate.
Tears rolled down his eye's once like any good friend i did what all true men do when a bro is crying.
Video taped it and put it on you tube to laugh my *** off later.

Gonz how could you ?
Bone he's in a better place now whats wrong?
You killed him how could you destroy such a innocent thing.

Dear lord I know my pinto is old but it's far from a deatn trap well okay it kinda is but relax
see i popped the trunk grapped the little hamster by the leg held him up high
he's fine a little stinky hey if he cant hold his  ***** thats his issue.
Btw where do we get feed for this thing cause im almost outta dog biscuts?

After Bone finally stopped being such a drama queen Jesus that album had some strange powers.
We were off with are little stinky drunken friend brothers bent on sharing experience
and drugs and maybe some strippers hey kids are chick magnets im just saying
I should have stole one ages ego.

We laughed we cried we found out dipers can really get filled up .
He sometimes it's best not to hold everything in.

And as are money flew from us like braincells from a ******* shoot.
I called the smartest most rational person i knew Richard Shepard.
Who after cussing me for waking him up at 3 in the morning finally explained
it all to me Jesus who ever knew thats where babies came from.

So there we parted togatehr the three amigo's
Man what a party hey Bone?
Dam right hey Gonz i got the stamps on his forehead help me get him in the
post office box.

And after a brief moment like my mind are little amigo was gone
Outta are lives.
We stood there silent.
Hey Gonz wanna go back to the *******.
Amigo all i gotta say is **** yeah !

And like that we were off to more adventures that rambled on for hors till ya want to strangle me or take me home and keep me like a demented perverted puppy that although seemed cute
if petted would just **** your leg.

A week later

the woman sat there with little wahtever the hell his name was in his high chair.
Harvey get the camera I think he's gonna say his first word.
The two parent's so excited  come on whatever the hell your name is say it it.

The little rascal grinned from ear to looking at the object of most means thoughts
I belive the proper term is *******.
Building up the strength from somewhere deep inside.
His parent's so excited and happy he was gonna talk also  hahaha im not right.

Finally little whats his name spoke
****!  ****! ****!
His parents stunned I told you frank not to cuss around him.
I didnt and my names not Frank *****!

***** you I told you your family's ****** up side would ***** everything up.
Yeah couldnt be the total ***** side rubbed off either huh?
It was like a scene from the Waltons.
Little whats his name speaking his first word  two parents
cussing each other out it's so holesome reminds me of home.

Untill next time watch your kids cause theres some bad influences out there
unlike my wholesome ****.
Stay crazy Gonzo
 Oct 2011 The They
Jon Tobias
The foam floats in her glass lookin’ like a ***** snowflake

     Her fingerprints still in the frost


No matter what any sober person tells you

     No two lips are the same


No two dances on dimly lit dance floors

     The scuff marks scatter in so many directions


Even the music is a remix

     Of something that could have been perfect


Even if it’s the same bar over and over

     My memory the next morning is foggy


Even the warm spots on the other side of the bed

     Change shape like crop circles


If you ever stayed long enough

     To try my French toast


You’d see how the swirls look like galaxies

     And the thought of spinning might make you miss the flavor


But I know what perfect feels like

     Through so many filters


And every night now is a remix

     Of something that could have been perfect
everyday she tries to turn
her existence
into a dot

.

but it's always a comma
,

or a question mark
?


              ??,,,,,,          
????                  
,,
,,
       ?         ?    ,
                                   ?  ,
,

and the closest that she ever got

...

was a
dot
dot
                          
dot
.
.
.
 Oct 2011 The They
Jon Tobias
The word “Enthusiasm” comes from the Greeks

Meaning

God within the self

There is a god inside myself

Needling my fingertips when I touch you

I think they had it right

When they said

There is a god inside of everything

There is a god inside my mother’s voice

Calling me back to sleep

And inside

Broken beer bottles

On beaches

Inside the blood that runs from my feet

When I step on beer bottle beach glass

There is a giant of a god

In the ocean

And he’s dying to swallow me

There is a god

Inside every passing moment

His voice as subtle as a whisper

During an earthquake

Reminding you how to be calm

You have to be calm to listen

I have heard

If you play a piano

Tuned to the key of broken

You will hear the voice of

Humility

It is the sound of a god

Reminding you

Every beautiful thing breaks too

Every beautiful thing

Breaks too

There is a god

Kind enough to white noise my panic

Living in every deep breath I take

So that I might have just enough time

To explain how I love you

There is a god in the words of wisdom

Falling short of the ears they were

Supposed to take

Take my ear

Take my heart

Take my breath

And beat the dust of back country

Back into the god living inside the man

Who’s fingertips burn when he touches you

My fingertips burn when I touch you

I am pretty sure they had it right

When they said

That there is a god

In everything
Deep in the woods we did gather.
Shared madness in a brothers confession.
Speaking underneath the stars of past failures and present
problems.

Towards the bottom of the jar and nearest to the flame.
Time cast a vision of nothing to remain.
You can experience  a life and never truley live.

Poets unknown even to themselves gather around this fire
Truth's of lies vanish with the embers into a  cold winters night.
Stories of women false yet a pain  in a watercolors thought.

The jar glows to the edge is where you must find a beginning
at times my friend.
In the darkness shadows cast alone shared by fires light.

Hours are lost but we gain the  moments and forget the
regrets in a ******* up place  we find more solice
than any preacher could  understand.

Life is a trainwrecks  call on a dying wind.
The jar almost empty burning in thought.
The woods a church of life  the fire's warmth the blood 0f
night.

In a place I seldom understand yet often recall.
Togather we understand.
The true emptyness of it all.
Sometimes the edge  is the place where  I understand
myself best.

Im sorry for this one  but im losing it as a writer.
And when that happens  often  to the edge I return.
 Oct 2011 The They
D Conors
Far, far away, in a kingdom long ago,
There lived a ***** King who had a **** made out of gold.
He ****** his royal Queen, he ****** his royal Knights,
He shoved it in the Chambermaids, and up his Horse--did twice!

From the Page-boys down, to the Peasants in the fields,
He even ****** the Flowers whilst reaching for a feel,
-Of his farting ****, to scratch up and down,
'Then he headed through the forest to **** the whole ****** Town!

If you seem to wonder why this King continually ****** and Farted,
Perhaps this poem will teach you a lesson on how Government was started!
D. Conors
c. 1995
The government is like a feeding black hole; ******* everything inward into a swirling vortex until everything reaches one simple, conformed point; singularity. Instead, transmute yourself into something else, something much stronger than the tug of gravity and explore the outer reaches beyond the event horizon. Become unique and delve deeper than before.
 Oct 2011 The They
Carl Sandburg
THE Government--I heard about the Government and
I went out to find it. I said I would look closely at
it when I saw it.
Then I saw a policeman dragging a drunken man to
the callaboose. It was the Government in action.
I saw a ward alderman slip into an office one morning
and talk with a judge. Later in the day the judge
dismissed a case against a pickpocket who was a
live ward worker for the alderman. Again I saw
this was the Government, doing things.
I saw militiamen level their rifles at a crowd of work-
ingmen who were trying to get other workingmen
to stay away from a shop where there was a strike
on. Government in action.

Everywhere I saw that Government is a thing made of
men, that Government has blood and bones, it is
many mouths whispering into many ears, sending
telegrams, aiming rifles, writing orders, saying
"yes" and "no."

Government dies as the men who form it die and are laid
away in their graves and the new Government that
comes after is human, made of heartbeats of blood,
ambitions, lusts, and money running through it all,
money paid and money taken, and money covered
up and spoken of with hushed voices.
A Government is just as secret and mysterious and sensi-
tive as any human sinner carrying a load of germs,
traditions and corpuscles handed down from
fathers and mothers away back.
 Oct 2011 The They
Emma Sawyer
Welcome Governments one and all.
Watch the little people stumble and fall.
Step right up and see the wonders big and bold.
Watch the endless mysteries flip and unfold.

The thieving men who steal your lives,
Trade you away like simple knives.
What Governments do, what Governments do.
The deep reality has never been so true.

Endless pits of tainted money,
Has never been so ridiculously funny.
The powers in the towers so tall,
Have never been seen by the people, to be so incredibly small.

With peoples hearts starting to cry,
They watch their life goals fly.
Trapped by Governments plans of money grabbing schemes,
Watch them living in their never-ending dreams.

Inflation down to its biggest low.
Watch the governments say the word of “No!”
Comfy chairs and second homes,
Listen to them speak into their up-to-date phones.

The working-class fail to survive,
The governments start to thrive.
Fancy cars and tight business suits,
Walking into gardens and stealing the precious fruits.

Conservative, Liberals and Labour all want to make the rules,
To make us seem like half-wit fools.
The shining silvers and glory golds they wish to find.
Makes them turn sickly blind.

The show will never be over,
And the constant greed builds like a giant super-nova.
Welcomed one and all, to show that never ceases to end.
Allow this message to clearly send.
ElSawyer(c)2009
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