you fell for me because i reminded you of June
& you loved June
you loved the way the sun's rays shone down onto the earth everyday from 6 til 9
you loved the contrast between the bright blue sky and the green lively leaves that branched up high above us
you loved the smell of morning dew that flooded your nostrils as you tip toed out onto the dock every morning, and the scent of smoke that trailed away from the bonfire each night as you held me close by your side
so as summer went on you were stuck in a June state of mind and kept me around
but then came september & the leaves began to change just as your love for June began to fade
you decided that no longer did you want to suffocate in the hot and humid air
but you'd rather bundle up & battle the cold
you realized that instead of watching stars you'd prefer to drive aimlessly in your car
so as the seasons changed we bid our farewells
& you left me longing for June to come back around

my mind wandered far from where it should've been
health exam
diagram of the heart.
I hear the beating of my own heart
I feel it sulk down into my chest.

I look to my right and see a boy who sits with a look of arrogance on his face
the very boy I've silently loved for months now
I'm sure he knows, I'd be surprised if he didnt

ever since september I've been hot on his tail whenever I got the chance
pure desperation
He's your typical teenage heartbreaker
Varsity well, everything  since freshman year
his blue eyes painted a mystery begging to be solved
he has not a care in the world for anyone besides himself

so here i am bashing the boy I myself boost onto a pedestal
it seems so strange
strange that i'd be so compelled to practically worship the ground he walks on
Stranger, is how I'm able to write all of this with him a mere 24 inches away
he could glance to his left and read all of this crystal clear

It's funny how much I claim to hate him, all while being so attracted to him
I guess that's the difference between love and attraction
I love his physical being, even the idea of him
until it comes to who he his beneath his skin
Cocky. Self centered. Rude. Unaware of his surroundings. Impulsive.