I don't even know, what I'm pretending for
While pretending not to love you, I love you all the more.

I would give my life, I would give my soul
to just for a moment, once again feel whole.
Where went the time for us? I still got the scars,
I guess I wasted it, matching words to bars.
I want another moment, or hour, or day
to be happy, free and with you without life in the way.
But what I want doesn't matter, what I want I can't get,
so I'll be stuck with these feelings for a while yet.

The puzzle of my life and I let it fall apart,
I cared too much about it and I let it break my heart.
But I've got back all the pieces, they just no longer fit the same,
So I'll just grab it all and take it, take it right to the flame.
Watch everything I cared about start to burn away,
and once it's all just ashes maybe I'll forget that day.

I'm sick of writing poems that I'm never gonna send,
Why can't I just give up and let all of this end.
Why have I got to keep feeling like I care,
When I very clearly shouldn't since my dear you are not there.

**** it, those eyes, they aren't meant to seem so pretty,
and they shouldn't shine brighter than all the lights in this here city,
those lips really shouldn't make me feel the way they do,
it shouldn't matter, I shouldn't care, but my dear it's you.
Maybe I'm wrong, perhaps it's the lack of sleep,
baby I really hope I'm wrong, I've got promises to keep,
but with your all-too perfect eyelashes and really messy hair,
you've got me wondering if maybe I still care.

"Why don't you write something happy?"
Because it'd be a lie.
So no I won't write something happy,
not while I want to die.
Poetry isn't something choose,
it isn't just a skill that I use,
I can't make it stop, it's not my choice,
they're not my ideas, they're just in my voice.