Laying here on ***** sheets,
the words of that crooked smile haunt me.
That moment
over and over,
like a black and white movie with a scratch on the film.
Over and over and over...



You're like a black widow, he said.
You bite the heads off every man you touch,
You're lucky you're hot and look good with your clothes off.
You don't even know how to feel, he said.

You're cold.

You're cold as your eyes are blue, he said.
But you know if you laugh loud enough,
and pretend you're drunk enough,
your prey will be dead before they figure you out.
I sure as hell wouldn't love you, he said.

You're ice.

Even your hands are cold, he said.
Doesn't it get old?
Don't you get tired of being so guarded,
Isn't it painful being you? he said.

You're stone.

Look at you now,
How blank your eyes, how ridged your lips,
How thick your skin,
I don't even want
to touch you, he said.

You're heartless...

Heartless..

he said...

heart.
less.

Heart - less.
Adjective.
unfeeling; unkind; unsympathetic; harsh; cruel.

Heartless.

That word pounds through my head,
wreaking havoc on who I am.
Forcing perspectives.
Since the moment he said it,
while I laid there,
naked,
more vulnerable than he ever gave me credit for.

Heartless.

Jokingly, I tell myself that he's insane.
Scientifically it's impossible to be heartless.
I'd be dead, I think.
He's an *******.

But I know that he was right.
Because he wasn't the type to spare feelings,
or mince words,
He never said things he didn't mean,
especially not to me..
And he never cared about my reasons,
or the things that made me this way.
He showed up at my door, and took my clothes off
Told me I wasn't the type boys bring home anyway.
Told me I was too damaged to belong to anyone.
He said and did mean things.
He was not a nice boy.
But in the end I told myself I deserved it.
All the things he did and said.

I perfected my game face.

After all,
I'm stone.
I can take it.

Every inch, every fiber, every morsel of me needs you.
Eats, sleeps, dreams, and breathes you.

I know you said you have them too,
these feelings that make you untrue

But to who? Yourself? Or the idea of a love you once had?
A place back home with your siblings, mom, and dad?

A place where you dread to go,
With somebody that you used to know.

I am here, I am now, I am real,
Though that won't change the way you feel.

Confusion surrounds you, us, her, and me.
All I want to be happy.

But that is so hard to do, so hard to be,
when everything I want is you, but you can't want me.

I've seen introverts become the center of attention
I've seen extroverts go ignored
I've heard complacent well-adjusted human beings
Cry out for something more
And there's a million and one things to do with life
So don't you dare be bored

Because there are three types of people in this world:
Those who do
Those who don't
And those who didn't, but wish they had

At times it's wrong to do what's good
Sometimes you've got to be bad
So don't you go on second guessing
Lest you end up with regret
Follow your instincts
Don't look back

'Cause there are three kinds of people on this earth:
Those in the future
Those in the past
And those in the present, so make it last

At times it happens all so fast
You forget to examine the extent of the impact
But don't you worry about forgotten things
They'll find their way back to you in your dreams

And there are those who will tell you that it's false
They'll comfort you with broken arms
To drag you down to into the swamp
Trying to stop you before you even start

Now there are three sects of people on this planet:
The leeches
The dreamers
And then the true believers

Examine your head to find the truth
Don't worry about what you can or cannot prove
Nothing matters nearly as much
As the way it all matters to you

You see, there's no right or wrong way to live a life
It all depends on how it makes you feel
The miraculous fact that you exist at all
Gives you the right to determine what is real

And there are but three animals in this pen:
The sheep
The wolf
And the Golden hen

He was the blue sky
She was the rain
He was the sunshine
Who took away all her pain

She was the black sky
In the middle of the night
He was the brightest star shining Reasurring her
That it will be alright

She's an old untuned piano
With dust on the keys
But he sits down
And makes beautiful music from her
But she never ever will see

He was the smell
After the rain
She was like the seasons
Always eager to change

He tastes like cigarettes and jack
She is at war with herself
Ready to attack

He has the  universe in his hand  
The world in his palms
She has nothing to live for
She sits alone writing song after song

His soul is full of awe
His eyes are filled with wonder
Her heart is much too cold
Down her life it plundered

He is like a warm summer breeze
Setting all souls at ease
And she is like these cold december nights
Always
Chilling
Always causing a fright