I got my musical taste not only from my dad
but also from the year I spent hating myself
and crying every single day.

I started writing in my freshman math class
because the teacher turned me on
so I couldn't pay attention to the lesson anyway.

I started smoking because my grandpa did
and he was the coolest ******* in the world
and I wanted to be just like him, lung disease and all.

I got my religious views from smoking **** at the skate park.
I'd watch how the skaters would be totally chill with each other
but as soon as someone rode a bike in they all got aggressive as hell.

When it is all gone
puff of smoke, a life with no value
no love, no soul
dust in the wind says Kansas ye?
so when you look at that fancy car
when you smile at night clutching your gold, young Midas
what is it you are seeing might I ask
is it a moment within a moment
the light in your eyes dimmed by materials
and the love in your heart a solitary stone
smooth like glass, as cold as ice in the bitterest winter
what is it you see?
a tiny world, one where there is no pain
but if you saw outside that you would see there is pain
you would see there is no material
and that  love is the most fulfilling when you have it for others
the one constant that lives far beyond a grave
who do we remember most?
the tyrants yes, that is true
who else do we remember though
Bob Marley, John Lennon, Martin Luther King, Gandhi,
so many more
full of love and peace
a fight they had for this love
these messages are an idea stronger than a grave
but your gold, it will not whisper love to you when you leave
your car will rust and decay like your flesh
the beautiful house will become dilapidated and abandoned as so many do
like the house that was your heart when you denied love and chose shiny things
those pretty things bring momentary happiness
but life is a moment
a mere whisper
gone like dust in the wind
what will you remember
what will remember you
most certainly not an idea like paper
it has no thoughts
but love it will remember
an echo for eternity
love

A million different thoughts
What!
If!
How!
A duet it continues, a lamentation to oblivion
Assorted brain functions carry on like a clock keeping time
Not higher but primal try to carry on normality
The physical suffers as they inflict damage upon my tissues, organs and emotions
Practicality doesn't warrant candid thought
"Tell me about your childhood" Which one!!!
One battles to suppress the other and take its throne of light
It has no place in my mind in this irrelevant state of chaos
Then like a calm before a storm you could hear a pin drop in the void between my ears
They are neither here or there
The quantum moment of exchange
Everything becomes nothing
Nothing becomes everything
The dead emptiness for seconds as the transition takes place
As the vacuum of hopelessness once again ***** the lucid thoughts away
Tortuous like air from a dying man's lungs
Trying to cheat the ferry man
Not on his final journey, oh no that would be relief  and sometimes prayed for to a god I don't believe in
But my now daily fight to refrain from losing  myself into the abyss
I only focus on what I think I can balance between Rationality of day when I can maintain it
and screaming pain of turmoil at night
I live two lives split like continents, never touching again after they separated
Yet in binary to each others existence, a duet of spatial rage
It is the cold reality, my curse, my fate
Two individuals one body, arguing for supremacy
Both alert both sharp both denying the other audience
One during the waking hrs one during the slumber
A Duet of desperation as they battle to trade places
night for day, day for night
One a craftsman one a scholar
The church would call it possession
A physician a personality disorder
I call them my Daemons
Part of me yet all of me
You?
You may call us friends

Empty room,
dead girl,
white sheets,
with scarlet stains.
Slit throat,
****** mess,
but yet there is,
no evidence,
of the killer.
No foot prints,
no finger prints,
no DNA,
no nothing.
He has escaped,
without a trace,
and all that's left,
is a dead girl,
and a unique crime scene,
that has no leads,
and is a mystery.

Her soul had been stolen
tattered, torn it seemed to be lost
drifting amidst the angry seas
cast away to unceasing winds
for it so long had she searched
thinking it forever gone, she just a shell
over mountains, under seas, through deserts
she roamed, desperate and forlorn
until at last she found her soul
in India