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The Black Beast Oct 2013
It's been a while since we've last spoke
Since I heard your gentle advice beam
It feels as if I've just awoke
From something of a vivid dream

We used to talk, but once a day
And make all of our problems clear
I guess that I've got naught to say
So I'll put this out, that you may hear

I miss the times of good and bad
I miss the times of problem share
The advice I'd (badly) try to add
The constant thought that you were there

I'll start at quick as it seemed to end
I'll jump straight back with eager cue
But my tongue is stuck, my dear old friend
So I guess for now its "hi, how are you?"
I can wait for a reply as only time can tell.
The Black Beast Aug 2013
She felt she was a jellyfish, floating round, manipulated easily, seen through, landing where she landed and leaving when she’d leave. But occasionally she’d hurt those that got too close.

She’d sting them. She didn’t want to. And was sorry ever since, but her tentacles were made. Made with the stingers ready for anyone that got too close.

She tried to stay away from the sea but needed it to survive, so she’d drift in the same currents, the same as everyone else just kept distance, kept them safe.

Until that brave turtle came along, nearly impenetrable. So protected from danger and he lured her away from loneliness. There was a moment of convincing. He had to show her that he was strong enough and he seemed strong enough to resist her pains.

But he was too strong, too bottled up in his shell. No communicating with the inside, and it was tough for her. After a while he let down his guard and with one quick motion he slipped on her tentacle. He was hurt and left.

Now left alone to face the current with few jellyfish friends who had chosen the back path, but she needed someone close and as much as she loved her friends, they weren’t enough.

She hasn’t forgot that turtle to this day and she wished upon a twinkling coral that she may have him back. But maybe it isn’t meant to be.

Back to reality now, enough with the fish metaphors, as much as I like them. I guess I like them because they make me feel like I could be close to her. Maybe even close enough to be her turtle. One problem.

I can’t swim
I know it's a story, but it felt strong enough to put up here.
The Black Beast Aug 2013
If
If you can’t trust your foremost-born son
But think of him as if he doesn’t care
If you can’t see the damage, been done
And carry on as if it’s yours to bear
If you can’t see the truth laid before you
But see the story filled with lies
And think that all the pain is for you
And think that you’re the one that cries

If you can’t see the innocent parties
Before you push away all hope
Before you chew them down – like smarties
Then leave and slowly start to lope
If you can’t see the fear you produce
In those that want and need you near
If you can’t hear the silence let loose
Nor see the dry and shriveled tear

If you can’t stop and change the angle
If you can’t see another’s side
If you can’t let your mind untangle
And push your twisted thoughts aside
If you can’t see a loyal person
If you can’t feel the prayers and blessings
Then that is why it will always worsen
As blindness will stop your life progressing

If you can’t see a family, loyal
If you can’t see someone to trust
None of us are godlike – royal
But we are all still faithful, just
If you can’t feel the help we offer

And realise what you truly had
You’ll lose it all to the garden coffer
Except the love I have for you, dad
Schizophrenia has finally taken him away and all we can do is hope that he sees the love
The Black Beast Aug 2013
Fool me once shame on me
Fool me twice shame on you
This, the phrase I’ll never say
Despite the pain it puts me through

I’ll always be the one left back
I’ll always be the silly one
I wish that I could just one time
Be the one that has sometimes won

Sometime won the lovers fight
Sometime won the hearts true goal
Not be the fool, who is fooled again
And keeps the shame within his soul

I need to show her that shes bad
I need to let my feelings loose
But how, oh how, will that ever be
When what I want seems so obtuse

So big, so large, a stupid goal
Where scoring will not ever be.
Fool me once shame on me
Fool me twice, still, shame on me!
The Black Beast Jul 2013
The ways of the world
Make way for my death
The Black Beast Jul 2013
I used to be a rhyming poet
I never seemed to like the ones
That carried on without a beat
That felt as steady as the runs

I used to be a constant eater
Never fussy with my food
Come rain or shine or thunderous bursts
I'd eat regardless of my mood

I used to also be in love
She used to tell me so was she
We used to walk from here to there
I used to feel like I was free

But now i'm changing
I don't need a beat
No rhymes
No constant thinking how it will end
Sometimes its better pledging forward

Like pledging through a filled up fridge
Looking
Refusing
Whatever I can eat I won't
Because I don't fancy eating today

And Love
Well, that's simple
I lost her through my own doing
Left here to walk alone
But now
By the image of my past
I'm trapped
The Black Beast Jul 2013
Type.
Delete.

Re-type.
Delete.

Re-word.
Delete.

Start afresh.
Delete.

Lecture.
Delete.

Apologise.
Delete.

Throw phone.
Wait 15 minutes.
Repeat.
Those moments in life where you lose that one person that means most, and all you can do is sit back, and play with your phone. I hope she texts me first.
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