nocturnal
filled with lead
tinged with acid
plush plomous skin

once i concern myself less with how another thinks
and more in how i do.
and the ones who want me do.
ill be good.

you were a part
of the darkest time in my life

a double agent
too liberated

do you still like to hurt?
its the only way to stop yours

answers within me say
because we were who we wanted to be
before we remembered who we once
were

we are still all we have seen,
But more.

this wound runs even deeper
than i can recall
and
i remember what i did.

always pitting yourself
or using your position

against a lesser abled human

will always lead you to realizing you
are nothing
against a greater one

equality
will lead you to your greatest value

is it noble to hate who harmed
  whom love
i lay in wait
  to hear the judgements
i lay crippled
  in knowing their hate
i soar on
  the dark never controlled me

i still have the love within me

crippling thunder
light crackling shock
back and forth
tense to untense
afterward the brand
of the forsaken burns

life can not be built among liars

the soul is open to pain if it welcomes
growth

the waste of movement unneeded
fuels my dance
and its rhythm reveals truth

walking along the way
how many would slowly **** you

on their road to salvation

a freedom fighter
lasting in his family name

too just, to throw him in a cage
my chains befit as weapons

dearly departed
  a reincarnation of you

my furnace enflamed
  until it spread through the seams

my pheonix arose
  through my errant dreams
that at some times render nightmares.

my wings spred but
my heart froze,
my mind was blinded,
in wait for your touches
my limbo grew
drifting alone.

death is all around us
don't get stuck on it

dreams breed new life
let us all ride alit

there was a kid who was soured by life
but refused to let it sour him.
he succumbed and felt open anew of anothers pure sweet
in which
he sullied since
as at sweet's core he was soured
and he stayed that way for way more
than an hour
he knows his distance
and his own sweet heart he knows in his chest to visit
feels still more than pained
by an even more sinister'd soured visit

reasons for a relationship
sharing the shame

this is a night,
and its longing to be embraced.
by, and which,
the night's heart is so gone,
it cares little the hell who.

so some shade, comforted.
and it wrapped itself tight

i mainly use blue
it is my #1.
my true natured ego.
i love using red.
it is my #2.
and while ultimately its color
rings just not as true,
i serve, my egos; it a pallet of colors.
many to see
many to look out for:
#73 pairs well with my #84
#7 i've seen only from long distance
#10 hates me dearly
#5 would make you weep sincerely
#18 you could look through clearly
#229 matches the wind blowing past the chimes
and #35 leaves me out of breath
these
oranges with blues
some have purplish tones too!
reddish green, mixed
in its hest i agreed.
a mix of them all,
swirling to keep my servitude
because these colors are i,
as much as they are them
honoring all makes
it all anything, but none


rainbow of this love,
how could one choose,
looking out for only #1
is a life ill continue choosing to lose

pray it away
or pray it to come

helm-man of Endurance-
"raise this; to other storms to run"

it was reported,
"several bleak men,
lost from just last one."

a celebration of death
in these honored leagues

cold fairy of water
looks in defeatedly

when i took that 50/50
wins and losses,
my jaw started tensing and hurting more than ever
and my sinuses are all infected all the time.

two of the many illnesses id take with you both

who has befell me
has gifted me grief,
has caused my body to lie
in a needed slumber

what is missing
in my heart full of love ?
what has
filled my lungs
with desperate breathes
and made everything
a sloppy mess ?

how do i cleanse this ?
ive purified my ends,
means matter more i suppose.
I lack the love I once had.

when will I be me again ?
because I feel it.
the mirror suggests otherwise,
but i try to look past it.

the mud in my heart painfully
grows mold.

I have the most unbridled confidence in my love for you I know I reach out only to return with nothing but closed doors, But I'm never dissapointed. I am stalwart. I know as long as I am alive I'd take your hand in hold if you'd have me. I have faith that I am your brother. Have faith that I can be a lighthouse. And that I am a light. I can never give up those that I'd be lost without; without them on this blue beautiful earth.

Sometimes you wake up dancing
Knowing we have eternity to sing
Love is eternal
Faith above

i dont know how much longer i can do any of this

but ive been saying that for years

i want this year to be happy
my last two were so devoid

it all passes like a train
near a building amased
in sawdust,
glue, and boogers.
lethargic brakes screech
on the tracks
through cardboard windows
that shake walls of drywall
to crash
atop cracked glass.
it passed like a train
and i know it to be passed.
i'll lie down to find a home anew
on this track of my own.

id spend nights exploring the hell
id been abandonded in

i swallow your pride
and gag

how easily you transposed disrespect onto me

insanity strikes gold strings
ivory board of divine fruit
i pluck each like candy
divining to the next
gathering and struggling
through thorns of storm
the sounds stay similiar
maybe thats why they feel like home

the burdens of unknowing
that are hidden in closets bowtied
don't bother me
i never liked those gifts nor i loved getting them
but it loved giving them
because it knew how much it hurt
one day it'll understand its sting
i hope for its sake

the licks you inflict
from the gun pointed in contradict
suddenly stick to, and its sick too,
that the violence of silence in sundered solace of which the trigger was shot to, and now in this constant, its the bullet that shocks, its the anger that he kills. helplessly instilled.

cotton candy hills
breeze of sweeping sugar
carries like a feather
weightless; in air
rotating at speed of the heart
their eyes glazed by known cemantic
smiles homely
love abundunt

morning dew
green torches illuminate
speckled starlight
mystic mist amidst morning
sugary kiss affixed to be licked
sips of heaven's spit turn me to bliss

red pin hole
crimson quasar
  Cain's keyhole
   astral fire
i look
   eye to eye
   i hurt and hurt
  flux of heavy scales
judgemental eyes
stare back

i have some eternal longing.
questions for nature
thankful for the hydra that is
a question.
there has to be no answer.
anguished traversal,
i am weary for this
  there is no release
   no relief.
    no ends to this mean.
besides the
     beyond and this line in between
  i question why i live
    yet the answer lives in death


~~ am i really a monster?
these arms sewn by sewer stunk sinue
  soaked by one's false sense of savant
these eyes flit to blue and brown,
from  
 pointed to round,
  ears stiffened yet drowned
  who hears strangers say hes the
   talk of the town
    all of it tends to incredulous noun .
   a seed of some doubt,
   covered in honey,
   placed as my heart.
   i only wish that i and it, drift apart
   because when i rest
   i try to take my legs off;
   one at a time, i hope it hurts
   rip off my face;
   as thin as it may be
   snap myself out of my craze;
   you know you cant dream
   lift the ball-chain of my soul;
   and place it on your chest
   and die to live some other day:
because you cant love to my own behest

i dont know if its good to try to do better; or only one's best

i **** in my tears
stand there sinking them in my eyes
just so my skin can stay dry
through a canal built on my bones
its river rushes against its ramparts
lucious waterfalls into my organs
and out of my soul
but fills that well of some Old.

every other's yawn
would ellicit one of my own in return
i blush embarissingly
to share another's 'shame'
my craze, a harbor hoping it's a
                                   helping hand.
and atop a tall white spire the eye
      of some mind i think is mine
    gathers pieces of mindset puzzles.
at times, a
willing cohesion. same beast of mana.
   i hope it heals to share some burden.
    atleast the empathetical air
   tastes sweet to us modern mages

i was the happy little boy
the one that smiled over his frowns,
just to show his face,
swore it'd light up a whole town.
knew it'd light up his favorite face.
but after under every smile , was
transient at best: anguish at worst
and when the world started to dull,
he didn't know that feeling was him slowly dying alongside you.

is it vain to retrain the brain; to refrain from blame through thoughts of when, and which, was yesterday's sane?

to retrace, my steps, although im minor, not for hire and one's worth not sweet; some his words first taste couldn't be drier.
(and i feel at times, adept).

sworn words that dont taste of scorn
sorrid horns i beautifully adorn
halo in the high-lows, it never did go
cracked virtuoso, china wears thin

so life's machine i take some heed
enough to see my wishes in tow
hope makes me see life in between
,the space of my words i can see  
magic intervenes

i was always meant and mean to enrich, not encroach, lest i engross

tapping heimdall-esqueally
to the spurs of clicking cowboy boots
dancing with the soul of the soles.
"theres a spiritual war, haven't y'all heard?"

you saw the parts of what you hated
  in yourself in me
while i saw the parts i loved about myself
  in you.

times again it tends to switch

i feel so skinny
  my arms weak from work of mind
     enfeebled and drained of blood

does little to dwell
  my heart tends to pitter patter
   oh well ive lost it ,onto another
        matter

              V.   rabbit's foot

eyes blink to lather.
   my feet; for to scatter
     wet white clumps ontop my matter,
         a camo to hide what matters.
      once undone does shun what
   shattered.
nature strung
  these strings
that now tatter.
  pitter patter pitter patter
  skitter tatter skitter tatter
raindrops; i cant stop: food to gather.
safe in day, safe in snow, safe behaved
  discipline bleeds medicine on my
      modern day
  ive done my deeds of the day
to retreat to relief
tinged with tomorrow.

the song of nature's brilliant notes

leaves brush off their nearest friend
and scrape to each beat of the tree's heart

the birds call to their be-loved
across mirror edged pond that
one bad step would shatter to an infinite well clearly seen as the night sky on this canvas of water
duck gandolas traverse its scape heeding the way for the pack behind
bravely spreading the heavens within their wake

yet the bugs, how they produce sound so freely
serene strings relay a contingence of something familiar
a home of nightlights strung by wings flittering, generating the fire inside for
not only themselves but I.
i hear their tongue again

but it costs as little to all to listen