Last night I felt the alcohol and darkness slither in again.
So I buried myself into a blanket burrito
and tried not to let the cold take over.
Soon however, it felt suffocating,
tightening around my arms and hands
whenever the night demanded blood and pain.
"I'm protecting you on his behalf," the blanket whispered,
as its warmth imitated his arms and lulled me to sleep.

I'm sorry,
Because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
And yet I could never do the same for you.
I'm not capable of loving everyone,
I want love, but only if I get to choose.
And you probably know,
I never chose you.
I'm sorry.

And he was beautiful
Within his scars
and within his bones
and within the labyrinth, his mind
There was a terrifying beauty
that she could never see or understand


She didn’t deserve to.

A boy once jokingly asked me,
"If you could **** anyone in the world, who'd it be?"
It took me almost an hour to reply
because despite the question's joking nature,
the only answer I could think of was "me".

You looked at me
and I looked at you
and that's exactly what happened.

Insult me, an I'll smile
Kick me, and I'll say sorry
Spit in my face, I'll wipe it off and say thank you
Wrong my children, and I'll rip your still beating heart out of your chest,
Shove it up your *** for flavoring, then cram it down your throat
Have a nice day!

I've been called
The wise one
The smart one
"Born with a server's heart" one
The one with wet shoulders
Who doesn't cry herself to sleep
The kind one
The bright one
The "everybody's friend" one
The one who doesn't hurt herself
About the secrets that she keeps

But I'm the broken one
The hurting one
"Helping others has to save me" one
I love myself
Then hurt myself
Afraid to have to face someone