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Another old tomcat is sinking
all over him is the scar of weather
and I know it’s about time
death brings him a breather.

He was never my pet
but mingled with them
to live on their crumbs’ diet
and be loved
without a name.
Today was the morning like other days
but I cannot focus my mind just strays
the empty bowl stings with dull pain
like her would be none ever again!

I light the gas and look around
for her purr’s faintest sound
seek in air a long known smell
silky caress of a raised up tail!

Two deep blue eyes don’t beg of me
to love for love given freely
morn’s kitchen is only grey
where she haunts from yesterday!

These winter days she craved me close
if I refused lap sighed morose
softly spoke her petal face
I wouldn’t ever love you less!

She hid her away when strength failed her
beyond all eyes to quietly suffer
not let me know on what sunrise
dreaming of me she closed her eyes!
I'm heartbroken at her loss.
When the dust swirls in the March wind
the forlorn noon is thick with flames of the forest
and the meadow sighs in gold yellow sun

my eyes seek Krishna in that aching void.

She grazed the cows from morn till twilight
and though eldest among the siblings
she was schooled only in the blazing days
learning to pull her herd to greener pasture
venturing into marshes none would dare tread.

Not one groom could be found for her
bypassed she was for her fairer sisters
that went to school grew up were married
and ushered new inmates to the world.

Then a few summers past
when I had almost forgotten her
I saw her forehead smeared with vermilion.

But why she had to come back
playing once again the shepherd girl
gathering them for home at dusk
crooning aaaaaa….oooooo…..

I don’t know if Krishna went back to her husband
for after a few days she wasn’t seen again.

Only the winds howled in the forlorn noon
and the little shepherd girls who came after her
whispered she had at the in-laws
hung herself from a tree.
He was in it,
It defined him.
He needn't a name any more-
He was depression.

He looked down his mug,
But he didn't see coffee.
Instead, he saw a dirtied river
With decaying souls swimming
Lifelessly in it.

He drank it,
Closing his eyes at the bitterness
Of death.
Feeling the souls
Pour past his throat.

He lay on his bed
Staring at the ceiling.
It was white...
So white...
Like angels...
That you met only when you were
Dead.

Like innocence,
Beauty,
Pure souls;
Everything he was not.

The tears fell once again
Becoming his newly found friends.
They were there to cheer him up,
There for him.
But he could taste the blood too,
The ones that he never wanted,
But kept craving to get out of him-
The blood that poured out his veins.

      Depression

It ran through her blood,
Which was becoming scarce.
The knife was her saviour,
God was her angel.

She was happy.
That was her stoic mask.
She smiled, she was cheerful.
She brightened moods.
She cared so much.

But underneath the bubbles
Was a permanent frown,
One that could never turn upside down.

She envied the smiles of anyone else.
She could never be like that.
Her beauty resembled a stone-
Dull, boring, Crooked and unnoticed.


Her blue eyes stood for the tears
That overflowed inside.
Her red hair matched
The broken heart within.

She only wanted happiness-
Real, not fake.
She begged God whilst slitting her wrists.
The blood poured out
And she hoped it took the sadness away too.

But she would wake up the next morning,
Tears drenched in her pillow,
Freshly cut wounds bled to her sheets,
And a heart that eventually turned to ashes.
I Know someone who is depressed.
I have a love story.
So i decided to make a depressed unfinished Love Story
dad left
for his second tour of duty
on my third birthday

mom kept
a jar full of jelly beans
on the living room coffee table

every night
she gave me one to eat, saying
"when these jelly beans
are all eaten up,
dad will come back home"

sometimes
i would sneak another,
to help dad come home sooner

one night
the phone rang
and i watched mom
wipe away a tear
as she filled
the jar
back
up
On this Remembrance Day, I think of all those who have served, with a special thought for Dad.  And though she has no medals, I also think of Mom; every tour of duty Dad went through, she went through too, taking care of us on her own.

*** Edit: Thank you for all your kind words!  Due to a recent outpouring of sympathy, I feel it necessary to clear up the fact that my dad did in fact make it home from this mission; his tour had simply been extended for an additional 3 months.  Still, it isn't easy being part of a military family - and that's what I meant to show. ***
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