I wish I could
fill you up with
beautiful words
like you did for
me, but when I
tell you the things
my heart slides
over my teeth you
always say, "I just
don't understand it"
like I could possibly
be this thing you
don't deserve. How
can I explain to you
that you deserve
someone who touches
you like you are made
entirely of stars (which
I'm sure you are),
someone who feels
lucky at the sight
of your smile, trembles
in the wake of your
laugh?

My feet to ground, bound faithfully,
as my breath to air,
or your touch to mine, its warmth
a comfort in chilled moments,
in the tepid nature of nakedness,
its weight upon our bones.

Your crooked mouth and funny bones
carry you delicately, faithfully
our worries live out back, stripped naked,
their nagging cries lost to cold air
while we laugh in these moments
and revel in our contented warmth.

On days without you, without warmth
I carry your smile within my bones
and wait patiently for the moment
of your return, my faithful
heart singing your melody to the air,
carried briefly, then lost to silent nakedness.

As the season turns, the trees stand naked
their bare fingers reaching for warmth
the leaves lost, rot into young, winter air
the smell seeps slowly into my bones
months will pass as they wait faithfully
for spring to break the frost in melted moments.

Our patience will yield to the awaited moment
when limbs can stride in nakedness
the sun never failing to renew the faith
that even the most bitter of cold will succumb to warmth
we will lie in the grass, your bones by my bones
and spill our happiness into clean air.

There are times you spend putting on airs
pretending you are someone else in a moment,
but your façade will never convince my bones
for they know you at your most naked
with nothing but our love for warmth,
so I sing the prayer of us that holds my faith.

Your bones can speak without air.
Their whispers faithful in fleeting moments,
my naked soul forever craving your warmth.

There's so much I need to say
They didn't warn me today was my last day
My thoughts are so jumbled in my head
My hand trembles trying to write down all the things I should've said
Where did all the time in the world go?
We don't really have all the time in the world and we all know
But, stubbornness and pride gets in the way
Prevents us from for being able to start out by simply saying "hey"
I only have time to tell one person how I truly feel
Why'd I wait so long to show you, so you'd believe it's real?
I can't waste a second on what I can't change
All I know is I never ever dreamed wed be so estranged
Sorry doesn't come close to bridging this gap
And I know you hate it when I'm a sap
But, I am so sorry little sister
I never met to let my life swallow us in my twister
From bunk beds to our own homes
I never stopped worrying about you but knew you'd be fine on your own
But, sometimes I look at you and I see the little girl who got off the school bus crying
And I had to do something to defend the little girl hiding
I never hesitated to do what I had to do to protect you
It wasn't a chore, it was a must, something I'd always do
But, then I changed and the storm above our house was me
For so many years I was just to **** blind to see
Until one day I realized you stopped picking up the phone
And even when we were both there, you'd rarely make your presence known
I couldn't make sense of it at first
I couldn't have been the one to cause so much pain and hurt
But, your eyes told it all
I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to stop denying what I saw
My reflection in your eyes was ugly and sad
And you were more than just mad
What I couldn't deal with I put on you
I suddenly switched from protecting the little girl from the school bus
I became worse than any bully you ever knew
Tears flood my eyes, drown my face
And it's no wonder we're trapped in this place
Somewhere along the line we switched roles
Dying inside, everything was growing cold
No more cookie dough and flour fights
Just angry words and silent tears at night
Those two girls hugging in the pictures on the wall
Were fading to nothing at all
You didn't know it but...
Everyday we spent in silence felt like a 1000 paper cuts
The roller coaster ride has been something most won't understand
Without you I'm not whole, my arms aren't waving in the air.. Everything's so bland
We've been trying to cross the same bridge for awhile now
We get so close and I ***** it up somehow
Bitterness and shame consumes me
And I just become different and forget the "we"
This letter is unbearable to write
My words are blurry and you're no where in sight
I'm standing at the bus stop
But the bus has come and gone, and the second hand moves faster on the clock
You're one I admire most
Even when jealous, I can't help but talk about you and boost
I would never want you any other way than you are
Your strength has taken you far
And my anger at life has caused our bridge to crack
And I just wanna turn the clock back
I wanna hear you beg me to play the bubble game
And then spend hours laughing so hard, the memory in my mind in a frame
That little girl from the school bus has always had my heart
Even if at times we had to part
I gotta wrap this up
I tap the pen nervously but..
Seal the envelop and put it in the mail box with hope
Hope that the little girl from the school bus
Well, that she still remembers us
That she remembers the sister that jumped on anyone that ever tried to hurt her
Not that just the one who messed up who we once were
I'm back at the bus stop again
I know it's a long wait and tough battle to win
Ill never stop trying to be better
That's why I had to write you this letter
I know it's not much, it's not an eraser
I'm not gonna push but, I will be the chaser
Because the little girl from the school bus deserved so much more from me than she got
And all that she's done, will never be forgot
Ill just stand here and wait
And never again will I hesitate
Hesitate to say what's right
And let my hatred of others drag us into a fight
I know there's so much I can't undo..
I guess I just had to write this so you'd truly know..

I love you

Your Meme always

The puzzle that is the world
is missing a piece.
A piece, that when included,
would change everything.
But the piece that is sitting
on the sidelines, watching,
waiting.
It doesn’t fit.
It looks around and sees
the loneliness that comes
from being itself.
A bit too much of this,
too little of that.
It wasn’t made for this puzzle.
Even though it is the last piece
and it should fit,
it wasn’t made to fit in.
It wasn’t made for this puzzle.
The divine puzzle is where
it calls home.
But it can’t get home.
Home is a place where
it is not allowed.
Not yet.
The piece has to leave it’s mark
on the lost puzzle.  
It’s a lonely road
with an entire generation going one way
and a singular piece going the other.
Striving to get home.
Striving to just be heard
in a world full of unneeded noise.
The piece sees it’s destiny.
It has a passionate, relentless dream inside
it’s entire being.
It knows what it’s called for
and what it longs to do.
But the restrictions of it’s life
and the road that it is on
says 
“Not yet”.
“Not now”.
“Just wait”.
“My timing
is right”.
The piece expects the
world to shift under
it’s footsteps.
But the power of the divine,
it doesn’t show up.
Not in the way
the piece expected.
A lonely road this is.
With an entire generation going one way
and a singular piece going the other.
It wasn’t made for this puzzle.