Alan, the most wonderful and caring uncle God planted in my life
Your demise brought so much pain like I was stabbed with a knife
He stood for the perfect definition of love and bonds in family
That his departure almost made everyone dear to him tired of life
You taught me wonderful things with firmness, yet in love
Your happy and playful attitude, something you made us learn
You were simple and took life simply as it came
Everyday was a blessing you never failed to thank God for
I'd never felt so helpless my whole life that day you passed on,
I watched your once active body still in death and I couldn't wake you
I wanted to remove all those sheets around you and stroll with you
You were my father and you loved me like your own daughter
That image is something I could never block out  
I still don't know how to deal with you not being around,
I know this is something that would never pass easily
I don't wanna forget, because I don't want the image of you to fade
I want to place you in my heart always even though it aches
Tears come easily each time I remember the beautiful times we shared
My heart almost broke when your 3 year old daughter spoke with me,
That's a big responsibility I pray God help me to take,
You took care of us and left that little girl all by herself,
When she asked if I was coming on the phone I felt so bad,
I should have been there before she asked, she's my blood
And I promise I'm going to be there for her forever, as long as I live
I asked God to let me see you one more time, just one more time
And He did, 21 days after you died, I dreamt and saw you
I touched your hand and covered it with mine, it was warm
And you though dead, moved your other hand and covered mine too
You held my hand to your chest, it was the most wonderful feeling
I knew I ought to be scared, but no, I wasn't. I was grateful
And understand that you hold me dear to your heart.
I would always love you Alan, I would always love you Uncle.

What the hell is going on here?
Reading all my messages and making sure I'm faithful
Trust is something that has to be built, it's not so rare
But I honestly don't appreciate this, if I say what's on my mind you'll drool.

It's come to that time of the year when everyone wants to be a different person in anticipation for the new year.
I've got no new year's resolution and hold no fear
I just wanna be more happy and enjoy each day
And when dark moments come I just wanna have the strength to create my own shiny ray
It's the same boring routine each time
You make wishes and break them before the first month runs off
Every day is precious to me and each adds to my history
And as much as I want to be a better person, it's not by setting a time to do it.
Anytime the opportunity comes for me to make the change, I will.
Easy does it, and I'm going to take it real slow.
Happy new year.