Dotun yawned noisily as he stretched. He walked sleepily to the bathroom, relieved himself and made some funny face to the mirror. He looked himself over, raised an eyebrow, checked the transformation in the mirror then tried the other eyebrow. He kept doing this till his phone rang and he went into the room to pick it.
"Guy, what's up? I'm fine. ...". He went mute for a while, listening to Fred talk and give him certain information on the other line. He paced the entire length of his room till the call ended. One hour later he was ready to leave the house, all fresh and clean. He drove out in his Range Rover and headed to work. He was often referred to as a chauvinistic, cocky man. The initials in his name Dotun P. Ajala had been turned from Phillip to Player. He had a history with women and was proud.  He was simply incontinent when it came to the opposite *** and the fact that they flock around him made matters worse. His upbringing had been a bit cool, born in penury, luck suddenly smiled on them when his parents won the American visa lottery and they had to leave. They didn't let go of the training and experiences life has taught them, hence he wasn't mollycoddled as a kid. Ego was another aspect of him that was tantamount to his habits with women. He simply hated being turned down. He entered into his office without paying any attention to anyone, it was habitual and they've all come to understand. However, nothing ever goes unnoticed.
While he did his work with an air of insouciance, he couldn't help but ponder on his conversation with Fred. In between, he'd stopped and laughed derisively. It was simply impossible. How could he be made to face such allegations? It was farcical.
Linda had been nothing but a one night stand who incidentally traded her virginity the first time he met her. As usual, he was ready to move on to the next one but she kept pulling some emotional strings and wouldn't let go. She had brought up different issues but he was undaunted. He stopped picking her calls and finally placed her in his past where her type belonged.
She'd gone to Fred freaked out and not willing to accept defeat. Most importantly she was pregnant and wasn't willing to do anything about it. Dotun scratched his head and wondered how he'd managed making it to the office acting cool. Fred had informed him that she said she was going to create a media noise and make sure his parents hear about it. That was way too much. He just couldn't take it, he was being blackmailed.
"****, **** ****" he cursed aloud and kicked his waste bin so hard it tumbled and made some crashing noise. A young lady rushed in on impulse to see if all was well but the look he shot her sent her in the same direction she'd emerged.
He'd never been cajoled, much less from a 21 year old girl who now became his biggest problem. She had him confused, she was naïve.
He picked up the phone and dialled some numbers, barked some orders and parked his stuffs. He was out of there before anyone could say jack. He went through lawyers and tried to see from the legal view what the case was going to look like. Linda seemed to have had everything strategized and he had a lot to lose in turn.
When the Ajalas got to know weeks later, they were so pleased they immediately agreed to let the engagement party for Dotun and Linda take place in their home and without further delay. Dotun didn't like that things were becoming formal but there was little he could do. Linda's growing baby bump was noticeable. Thus, they became couples. Linda was satisfied, her baby would grow knowing its father and she most importantly would not be a laughing stock. She cared less whether Dotun touched her or not, his baby was growing within her.
Dotun's status became the talk of town and ladies avoided him like he had a plague. The few who stayed around did at their own risk. He got tired of the person he used to be, Linda made his life hell. She had a routine for him. He had to get home before a certain time, failure to do so would result into some argument, then make her land in the hospital. It was like she did it on purpose. Each time she was at the hospital, it was for nothing serious. Then the bills come astronomically for ordinary bed rest. He gave up everything for her. She trounced him. Things remained like that for a long time till he met the woman who changed his cards.
Tokunbo had entered his life swiftly. He had stood transfixed at the supermarket where he went to get baby things. She was gorgeous and looked like a make-belief model. Everything about her was icy and she didn't try to correct that impression with first timers. She just didn't have the time, and knowing the effect she had on people it was balanced. He walked up to her with some prepared lines in his head but when she faced him nothing came out of his mouth. He couldn't take all of her beauty in.
"Do you need help with the diaper in your hands? You sure look like you could use one yourself" she said eyeing him all over.
He was taken back, no one had ever talked him down like that, let alone a woman. He  was furious but something about her struck him, her accent was funny and it thrilled him the more. By the time he could put on his player boy demeanour, she had turned her back on him. He wasn't ready to back down.
"I think you're a bit rude, I just wanted to let you know you are beautiful and this colour you have on suits you" he stated flatly.
"You walk up to some chic holding baby diaper and you still wanna psyche her? Why don't you try your luck elsewhere?"
The irritation registered on Tokunbo's face could be read easily. She dropped the shopping basket and left. Dotun was embarrassed but he made up his mind that not even the myriads of insults he got from miss-whatever-her-name-is would make him give up on her.
He narrated his ordeal to Fred who had laughed hysterically. He asked him series of questions about this chic and he couldn't even answer. As far as he was concerned, chasing her was futile.
"Look Dotun, you are married. Why not let things stay that way? Running after some hot chic with your wife in that condition is just not right."
"But for the first time in my life I met someone who feels right for me. Someone I want to live with forever." Dotun defended himself, he was brow beaten at his own game. He'd had that kind of attitude towards girls in the past and to think that finally he got his match was too much to settle for.
Fred's raucous laughter annoyed him.
"Well, if you'd been more calm and cool headed, things might not have turned out this way." He chided.
"Or what do you have in mind? You want to search for this lady, propose to her or what? And considering her double edged tongue, you would be dead soon." Fred concluded.
Dotun's phone beeped, the look on his face gave him away. He answered not pleased.
"Linda. She wants me to buy her Suya, and in five minutes." Fred had another bout of laughter.
"You are hooked man, go home to your loving wife" he said patting him on the shoulder. If there was any word that would have described Linda, it sure wasn't 'Loving'. Dotun threw him an exasperated look and left.

It had been a good morning. I woke up feeling beautiful and full of life. I'd called my very good friend Fola for our usual morning chat and we had teased ourselves over the phone. She got drunk the night before at the club and some random guy had taken advantage of her drunkenness! He was about to start fondling her ***** when I came into the picture! She was giggly and flirty and that probably gave the guy the green light.

She was a bit embarrassed when I brought it up but Fola was a cool headed person so she laughed it off. I went through my daily routine like a zombie, it was the same old thing; dress up, go for lectures and then see what else we could do with the day. The week was usually like that. We take turns to sleep in each other's room, we were always together. She had a serious relationship! At least it looked that way at the time and I wasn't envious, I'd never been that kind of person. But I was just a free lady, men didn't appeal to me much but occasionally I get some that are my type but they always come with a price. In came this guy, I'd met him through her. The kind of guy that goes with anything and anyone. He speaks well and before I knew it, he became my addiction. She wasn't comfortable with it, but it was harmless! With her relationship she sure was heading for the alter so I discarded all the pointers I saw. She couldn't be in love with Scott, it would be farcical. Weeks later Raymond asked me out and I said no. I didn't want anything that'll get in the way of our friendship. And considering the fact that he was quite controversial, I didn't want to be his fancy woman either.

However, I found solace in him and discovered he really had ears for listening. He made me calm in the most ugly situation. He was my rock, I depended on him. We had it going for a while and one day he offered to take me out for dinner and I didn't hesitate. I unwittingly got into a situation I would have preferred on a normal day to be a nightmare.  He had a friend with him so there was no need to be nervous. We had a civilised conversation, nothing unnerving. I was starting to have the idea of me and him together, a happy ever after kind of story. I was wrong, I was in for it and sure took the bait. Time passed so quickly it was late! There was no cab for me to call and he said he couldn't drive me home! I wasn't sure, but the probing between my thighs wanted to explore. We got to his house and we settled.


Later things got really emotional and we started to kiss. I was on tenterhooks. My hands roamed his body softly, afraid I would tamper with something delicate. He explored my body with confidence, my ******* were taut when his hands found them at last. I made sounds in my throat and he giggled! When his mouth found my *******, I gasped! He ****** them as he spread my thigh and fondled with my honey spot. When he finally took me, it was ecstasy. He was mumbling reassuring words and I responded with passion. We were at it, somewhat changing positions, I was embarrassed and he laughed at me. When he came, he tried to stop himself from shouting by using my shoulder. He left me ******* bite marks. I nursed the shoulder for a few days and that was all.


When my friend called me, she was somewhat disappointed and insinuated I'd been used and it shouldn't have been me. I was dumbfounded, I shed hot tears and couldn't stop. Could Ray be the kind of guy who kiss and tell? I heard words I've said to him being replayed and aired by various audience. My relationship with Fola became estranged and there was nothing we could do about it. We stopped sharing thoughts while I hurt! Fola knew me better than anyone in the world, but this particular pain I wasn't willing to share. I felt foolish.

He'd made the bite marks the reference point and evidence. The incessant calls, texts and affection was just a coy. I was broken beyond repair. I didn't wanna get healed. I stopped trusting and couldn't see beyond the hurt. I lost the desire to live. There was nothing to say to those who knew about it, it was simply an emotional mire.
In the end, the possibility I created in my head- of us being together was nothing but a mirage!

It's been a long time I've felt this way, hopeless.
I feel like my life's a total mess. And there's this desire to cry out my pains and rejection,
Something's wrong somewhere but I can't place it

I feel funny and don't know why!
It couldn't be that this would be the last poem I'll write? I'm not suicidal and there's a thought somewhere that I'm not gonna last.
Maybe being successful is just a facade after all

There's something I crave for, something beautiful and I don't have it.

Moments like this make me realize how empty I am
There's not a single soul I could call that'll make me feel better,
Have I finally hidden myself and this seclusion is destroying me?

I'm afraid of being intimate with anyone because I feel they'll always leave,
Am I being crazy? I mean who decides his or her own fate?

I don't even have the right to. But there's this emptiness that is quietly crushing me and being subjective to loneliness.
I wanna cry, I wanna let the tears flow
Maybe it'll make me feel better you know?

And if you call it moodswing nothing has triggered this mood
My mouth is so bitter I can't take in any food.
I don't want to be this bitter person, I don't want to be empty within.

When i love, trust and respect you it doesn't mean I can't be cruel.

When i keep quiet and let your words sting,it's not like I couldn't be rude.

It's because I love you and I don't want  you to see my other hue.

I don't do things for pity

Like most people in the city,

I don't choose doing things by simplicity,

I follow my heart so far it makes me happy and I don't care if i ended up in d dark.

Don't I deserve the right to be bad?

Even if it gets everyone mad?

No, I don't. I'm made of fine stuff and my manners tell me I shouldn't be rough.

Here I stand in a world shroud in thick darkness

While my heart wails loudly and my ears can't pick the sounds,

My body shake vehemently while my head tells me I'm lost.

Tears sting my eyes while my cheeks feel the warm torrent.

 Oh my! How did I end up with broken wings?

 Yet, I didn't partake in activities called flings.

 Is it a crime to have trusted and believed so much in you?

 Oh,where then is the love?

Life is beautiful.
We make so many wonderful memories!  
And the houses we live in aren't just empty spaces
Such beautiful moments have been had in it.
Children playing and growing. Ragged dolls stuffed in corners
Late night sneaking out of teenagers, kisses and curdles in the sitting room
Occasional making out sessions in the garden.
Parents screaming, trying to drive their points home,
Children crying, defiant.
Birthdays and anniversaries celebrated with love,
Most importantly, everyone's made their marks and the space in the house isn't empty after all.
Grandparents passing on left a void in our lives, so does the loss of loved ones
And as surely as life goes on, we move on too. Remembering them in one way or the other.
Pictures of them remain with us forever! And suddenly, there's no proof of them being here in the first place
It's like some good artist sat down and created paintings of a particular image
Adding colours of grey to their head to show they are ageing
Or perhaps some lines on their faces to show that the stress of this world got to them too,
  an extension of the corners of their mouth to show happy moments!
It just doesn't make sense any more.
Discovering someone you've known all your life has vanished and would never come back
And you clutch desperately to albums as if that would keep them forever in your hearts.
Hmmmm! The memories are important! I'll make mine too.