All the dreamers lie asleep
Tumble fast to gentle deep
What is seen tonight will be
Tomorrow mixed with memory
Ghosts fragmented on a thin
Mist that scatters in the wind
sadness solid shaped in stone
a desert isle for those alone
the shapes will shift a thousand shifts
while sleeping heads refuse to lift
a cloud of rain, a distant star
disguise from dreamers what they are
forms unfurling as minutes pass
yet remaining objects without mass
the sleepers’ tricked, pulled into space
and dreams are woven in this place
sever ties with feather chain
rejoin the world awake again

Silence
Says the world around me
I spend so much time looking for my friends and my family
But the world it shushes, and it hushes me
Lulls me, sings me a melody
Of possibility, but doesn’t tell the truth
Silence
Says the world around me
I reach out so desperately, to have the closeness I once had
But the harder I try, the more that I strive, leads to ……
Nothing, but I need something, I scream
I need to speak out, but no one’s around
Silence
Says the people around me
A crowd of remembered faces, all faded
( why do the shush me, and hush me?)
I had known them to love me
Is nothing above me, below me
Can’t anyone hear me, a wine or a whistle?
Silence
Silence
Silence
I am still hear.

I’m sitting in my mother’s
Friend’s
Driveway,
Trying not to look like a creep.
While my Honda civic
Is hardly reminiscent of
*******,
My nervous eyes
And shaking hands could be.

Finally, they arrive,
And I realize
I’m wearing no make-up, my hair is wet,
And there’s paint on my arms,
And I have a girlfriend.

Mother
emerges, smiles wide.
I meet her for a hug, notice
Her eyes straying to my left ear.
“Do you like it?”
Long pause.
“I’m indifferent,” she replies.

And I think, if she only knew
About the black, black ink
On my right hip,
She wouldn’t be indifferent.

We make awkward conversation,
About apartment details,
Cable,
Cable bills,
Moving,
Gas and electric,
Avoiding anything evoking emotion.

As she walks away she turns,
Asks,
“Do you have money?”
I don’t say anything, taken aback.
“I wish I could have bought you dinner or something…”
“Mom. It’s fine.”
“No, no, no, here’s some money,
Tell Amanda hi.”

“Alright, I love you, mom.”
I say has her heels scrape away.
“Love you too."
She calls over her shoulder.

And she’s gone.

And I’m free to do as I please,
With ink, piercings and girlfriends.

But I wish she knew,
I wish she could love
The free me too.

Hold my hand darling,
though it may be weak.
Keep me in your thoughts,
though I may be meek.
Fight the feeling that you have,
don't leave without goodbye.
I cannot fight alone, you see.
For I am not alive.
Though I hold my head high,
the blade is higher.
I am not ashamed at all,
just full of desire.
and in these moments,
I can see all of life,
It is daring and beautiful,
This cannot be mine.
Look, there I am,
hiding in the tree,
Look at that smile,
Look, it's me.
Those times when I could breathe,
Those times when I could feel,
They seem so long ago,
Now they don't seem real.
Wait, it's still here.
I can feel it deep inside,
The feeling I was looking for,
when I was looking to die.
Darling, do you remember,
the way you said my name?
No, don't say it now.
It brings only pain.
For in this moment,
the rope has been hung,
and i'm gently swaying,
my song has been sung.
The day is closeing,
The heavens are opening,
Darkness is coming.
I am done hoping.
In this moment I am so alive,
The thrill pumps through my veins.
I haven't felt so alive,
since the end of 8th grade.
Goodbye, darling.
You'll see me in your last sleep.
Where together we can feel,
and always just be.
The birds are singing,
The day is warm.
I'm gently swaying,
My life is worn.




*I promise I'm not suicidal, random inspiration

Today I met someone that I never knew
Her questions were many, her answers were few
A stranger but yet so familiar to me
I said to myself, "Now who can this be? "
I fought not to follow, I wanted to lead
I somehow had entered her world of intrigue
I wanted to run, but yet I walked slow
I had no direction of where we should go
In total confusion, I stood very still
I'll find the right way, I know that I will,
Then as I turned face to face I could see
The reflection from her eyes revealed she was "ME"

Every time I see you on campus
(which is every ******* day now)
I get absolutely frantic
I'm filled with sheer terror
and I start to panic.
My thoughts dart all around
my heart freezes up
all my organs forget how to function
and I fix my eyes to the ground
to be sure not to make accidental eye contact

and I'm a fool
because you walk right on by
more than likely unaffected
from what I can see
while I'm contemplating
moving to a different country.
some force of nature
clearly ******* hates me.