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Oct 2014 · 462
tdf Oct 2014
cease and the words disappear.
please. I don't want them anymore
Sep 2014 · 418
tdf Sep 2014
As much as it brings me solace
I've never been so alone
Sep 2014 · 461
high and bye
tdf Sep 2014
I no longer cry
but when I'm alone I no longer laugh
they no longer laugh
so every night I give up
on each cloud I rise
pick my thoughts up off the ground
gone like my eyes when I start coming down
"I almost remembered-"
thankfully they all forgot
"We'll never become something we're not."
we laugh, and laugh and before we start crying
we'll hope it won't last
maybe this time we're dying
Aug 2014 · 469
tdf Aug 2014
a strong woman would keep on pretending
breakdowns of love leaves a heart rendering
wishing too soon for her days to be ending
Aug 2014 · 399
tdf Aug 2014
no one knows me
it makes me lonely

but I'm smarter alone
too long its been my only home
Hate life
Jul 2014 · 501
tdf Jul 2014
Days gone by replicate each other,
Awaiting their end in eternal slumber.
Jun 2014 · 485
tdf Jun 2014
Don't sugarcoat anything
Unless you want pests
May 2014 · 421
tdf May 2014
once again saved by strangers delight
except this time there's more to understand
he leaves like a grain of sand
travels down her hourglass
for the length of the night
never promising this will last
but to briefly hold out his hand
and for the second time
everything will be alright
or maybe the twentieth time oops
May 2014 · 408
tdf May 2014
you cannot start over
when you do not exist
whisper sweet nothings
like we'll never exist
May 2014 · 307
tdf May 2014
numb but no longer bruised
tired of gentle strokes
sick to the stomach of touching thoughts
richer of time but my minds broke
ironic to have nothing to lose
when there's no wars to be fought
no longer a fine china display
rest in peace to my words, here they lay
Apr 2014 · 255
tdf Apr 2014
Show your demons love,
But never give them a name.
What's your name again?
******* haiku
Apr 2014 · 347
the flaw
tdf Apr 2014
numb, number and dumb
he put his finger on the trigger
and pulled it back to his thumb
swearing to god
'love is a flaw'
she is natures *****
messing with the value of power
and the need to want more
her hands reach with greed
sowing thoughts with fantasies
then tearing away
before you can plant your own seed
overcrowded, with 'flowers
growing in the darkest parts of the mind'

where hope is soiled with misery
and damp from goodbyes
if he could, he would cut her,
**** her, then crush her like mary
get high off her sorrows
and become legendary
a man who could live free
of the devils caress
but instead, finds his life
in the shell of lead death
Apr 2014 · 646
tdf Apr 2014
His lips spoke a thousand lies, but his hands held, what once dwelled inside.
Hands that reached so far into the oblivion, valleys of scars stretch along the inner flesh of his arms.
Hands like his fathers because he didn't know them, especially when they were tightening around another's neck.
Hands that bruised then bandaged, then bruised again when they were pulled off like a new band-aid.
Hands like a broken home that could only be whole again clasped in the hands of another, or on the body of a lover.
Hands that left fingerprints on my thighs, my heart, my mind.
So I will never forget where he once dwelled inside.
Mar 2014 · 280
what remained
tdf Mar 2014
'at least I'm awake'
as eyes haze over
'at least I'm aware'
but it all tastes like water
'at least I'm alive'
god, at least I'm alive
Mar 2014 · 583
To BE Human
tdf Mar 2014
Walk on pride and it'll grab onto your feet.
'CHOOSE!' It screams, like a grieving child.
'CHOOSE!' But a cowards eyes cannot see,
and a coward will only hear, the buzzing of bees.
'ATTACK!' They hymn, 'ATTACK!' As a pace turns to a flee,
as fast as the bleeding heart that still beats,
fighting for life as it shakes and it writhes.

Dragged down to a crouch, pride clawing at knees.
"You better pray now you're bowed and hear me.
Fall deeper as proud or choose to slow down,
the fast approach deceives, its the becoming of me.
Choose the child you've abandoned beneath,
choose to live through all pain and all grief.
Be human, not god. You were not born to be He,
but to discover that pride keeps you captive,
and humility can set you free."
Mar 2014 · 689
sitting in loneliness
tdf Mar 2014
Your heart feels empty
But its stuck in your mind
Isolation makes you harder to find
I know its difficult
Loneliness hurts
But don't settle for anyone
Because them leaving is worse
You still dream of one
He probably still thinks of you
But loving old habits
Leaves you bleeding and bruised
He was your first tear
He doesn't have to be the only one
But maybe for the moment
Being alone is enough
You'll be okay nugget
Good things always comes back around
Mar 2014 · 380
tdf Mar 2014
In our happiness
Brought pain
In your happiness
I couldn't see
Because in my happiness
All I saw
Was what remained of you and me
I was ****** but I feel completely different now
Getting over it
Mar 2014 · 322
phantom pain
tdf Mar 2014
If this wasn't love
Why am I immortalising your name
I just wanted you to leave your initials on my heart
And not release your poison in my veins
Your scent on everything is driving me insane
I couldn't stay in bed for months
With you still stained on my sheets
I found myself asleep on someone else's floor
And when I kissed another's lips
I always searched for something more
In oceans of eyes I never found yours
I thought I was just blinded by acid rain
But every time I went to wipe you away
All I had left of you was phantom pain
Feb 2014 · 338
dancing with the devil
tdf Feb 2014
I'll kiss you tenderly but teasingly
Whispering words so sweet
Between you, between the sheets
You'll be breathing like a ***** on heat
I want to see your body beat
Purple, red and peaks of pink
As I'm drowning, ill make you sink
Into the bed, hand on your neck
eyes closed, legs open
Both moaning till the bed is broken

I'll leave you numb
With words unspoken
Feb 2014 · 24.1k
tdf Feb 2014
I think of him like
the desert thinks of rain
wondering if there's
much to gain
'cause when he comes
he leaves me flooding
an exposed surface
left with nothing
but he still runs deep
absorbed entirely
a lifeline till
our storm sparks lightning
Feb 2014 · 397
recover or seek cover
tdf Feb 2014
I'm sorting all this **** out
For those most caring of them all
So I can love them on deeper levels
Without having to down a whole bottle
Without having to undress
Just so I can impress
Their watchful eyes
I want to imprint on their beautiful minds
Feb 2014 · 398
daddys girl
tdf Feb 2014
Daddy chose the bottle
Over his baby girl
So she grew up
Downing bottles
To drown a missing world
Feb 2014 · 256
tdf Feb 2014
Press your mind into my spine
Kiss the bones you made your own
Let me drown in your  drunken frown
and break the ice in your eyes
Jan 2014 · 332
tdf Jan 2014
forever stuck in our home town mind
so we'll forever be home town bind
digging beneath the thought of being alone
till we become the roots that made this home
Jan 2014 · 589
tdf Jan 2014
blank your icy eyes and confuse my melting heart
entice me with words that could tear me apart
just put your lips on mine and make me breathe you in
so I can taste the fear that you hide deep within
paint your hopes with hands and a purple palette
on a canvas like mine that's used to being target
to all forms of hurting and substance misuse
don't show me your love just your love of abuse
Jan 2014 · 802
tdf Jan 2014
why is being content
not filling me at all
its fulfilling a future
but my tear ducts are empty

not a tear shed
cause not a heart has been bled
when I know through real eyes
that CONTENT is a lie

I haven't met the eye
of passion in a while
but I know she's begging
to confuse that shy smile

and SHE is also lust
because only HE knows
that her body is a trust
leave her and feed her
with love like money
needy but falsely accused as greedy

for HE is not simply a man
who is lusting
but two arms that are both
caressing and engulfing

and when I'm released
and he finally claims me
I'll be able to portray
a love that saved me
from untamed desires
that spread like fire
but only leading to
a life living to die
Jan 2014 · 390
the meaning of
tdf Jan 2014
I'll hide you the truths
In this tormented mind
cause your eyes won't see
when you're already blind
Jan 2014 · 875
tdf Jan 2014
They gave us a world
that we were meant to protect                                    
Born to grow in its imperfections                                
but forced into caged construction
We destroyed our sense of adventure
By putting a sale price on the final treasure
the young misguided will disguise *** as love
And then be abused in the name of heavens above
We're lost inside the confused minds of damaged souls

                                                          ­                                    We're
                       ­                                                                 ­ Falling
                                                         ­                                   Down
                                                                ­                          The         
                          ­                                                                 ­  Rabbit
                                                          ­                                  Hole
Jan 2014 · 400
If I Died Tonight
tdf Jan 2014
I'd abandon all my friendships
in my last dying breath
say sorry to my family
about the trouble I had left

Cry because I wont see
the first person that I loved
with every inch of my body
that would soon be stained with blood

Take my mothers hand
and ask her to forgive me
I was your greatest gift
but that gift is quickly fading
Its all my fault I got this way again
I lost too many battles
that the war looks too hard to win
Jan 2014 · 832
tdf Jan 2014
So you're sick of me
Do you know what sick is
Did you hear the echo call you back
when you screamed at it to leave
when the reflection in the blade
dared you to lift your sleeve
and you can't talk of fear
when you know its waiting near
the room is getting suffocating
As you choke on your own thoughts
cause nothing here is touching
Except the demons you had caught
You might know what I mean
when I say I deserve to die
Cause you were the one
that made me believe
A grave is the only place I lie
I do not promote emotional blackmail
Dec 2013 · 917
tdf Dec 2013
My demons
From the shadows
Are a limitless power
That overtowers
Sanity in its weakest form
That I used to welcome
Until I left them

So listen here
Sinister and Fear
You don't own me
You can't ruin me

I won't let you take me back
I won't let you increase the lack
Of love that I am able to give
This is my life, that I will still live

So ******* and your prescriptions
Plus your clinics that once held me
I can make it through
This month or two
Before insanity
Overtakes me

I cannot  ignore you
I know you are there
Waiting in the shadows
Preparing your dark lair
You can torture my thoughts
And try and scrape through my skin
But you won't take the will I have left
This time I will win
Dec 2013 · 303
They Don't Love You
tdf Dec 2013
who don't deserve forgiving
or you'll forever be playing
a game that's betraying
to what you're thinking
they're feeling
cause they're not
they don't

and that's the end
(the truth)
Dec 2013 · 462
tdf Dec 2013
Through double panes
The world will rush by
And create double pain
For the lone heart inside
Dec 2013 · 269
Death & Pain
tdf Dec 2013
"What is it like?"
Death asked pain,
"Making people go insane,
Giving release from open veins,
Taking soul in return for fame?"

"What is it like?"
Pain asked death,
"Ending their last breath,
Even when they're giving their best,
Taking everything that's left?"

Death said to pain,
"Maybe we are one of the same?'
But pain replied,
"Though only one of us dies,
And the other is life."
Dec 2013 · 380
Best Mess
tdf Dec 2013
who needs a caressing touch
when there's rough hands to guide you
don't slide your body down
scratch your movements in
collapse your chest on top of me
make me work to take this win
you can use your arms to balance
but I'll take your legs out from under you
so you'll bind my arms behind me
and show me something brand new
I'll keep you in control 'till you're falling
a heated mess with nothing left
and since I never have the last say
I'll make you say my name
'till I'm sure I'll always be your best
Dec 2013 · 528
"I know why, but why?"
tdf Dec 2013
What a beautiful human being,
with such a confused personality.
Just troubles in his eyes,
and a love affair with lies.
Dec 2013 · 955
modern scenario
tdf Dec 2013
it hurts and its not the pain that makes a suffering
it's the thoughts that fuel the negative feeling

that eats you till you're torn at flesh
like wounds shining with blood too fresh

I know you feel you're dying inside
and the ***** crashing in your liver is a tide

cause you've been drowning the whole year
so you could learn to forget the fear

of not fulfilling an expensive education
and settling for your parents situation
Nov 2013 · 412
Tired Tipsy Tainted
tdf Nov 2013
Too many thoughts
Encaged in this ill mind
Pounding on the door
Looking through eyes blind
Oct 2013 · 1.0k
tdf Oct 2013
What is a friend who loves you,
when you have no kindness left?
or a man that desires you,
but to care, is considered theft?

Is family really forever?
I cannot love a missing father.
Nor one that has replaced,
and destroyed an identity in a culture.

Am I selfish to be alone?
These feelings are conflicting.
I've reached the point of a mind,
that is purposely forgetting.

I don't want to have attachments,
for I want to be nobody.
To find serenity in a world
where everybody craves somebody.
soz ma
Oct 2013 · 442
Drizzy On Your Feelings
tdf Oct 2013
Take a shot for me
You played through the phone
Cause you ******* out
When you said you hate sleeping alone

You said I could do better
That we just didn't connect
When you know that was the furthest thing
You just couldn't own it

Look what you've done
Got me living your language
Falling for your type
Your crew making all the changes
/unhealthy obsessions with drake
Oct 2013 · 1.8k
tdf Oct 2013
off the rails
railway tracks
why I fail
is the knowledge I lack
/drink drank drunk
Oct 2013 · 492
tdf Oct 2013
two words:

cig lit
ex hit
tongue tracing
hearts racing
show grounds
he's found
don't care
soul bare
hate him
love dim
can't lie
still high
for it
little bit
have fun
shot gun
Oct 2013 · 3.3k
Tough Love
tdf Oct 2013
He handed love in  bruises,
kindness came in loads.
Every time he touched me,
a part of me implodes.
"Face the other way."
"Can they come and watch us?"
Muffled screams in pillows,
a spreading chain of blotches.
A paradox of feelings,
'cause I wasn't treated fragile;
but I'd never felt so broken,
and never faced something so
Oct 2013 · 568
He Left
tdf Oct 2013
casual smile
avoidant eyes
tasteless lips
hidden lies
secret gestures
awkward glances
missing touch
lost chances

he left
Sep 2013 · 1.3k
tdf Sep 2013
don't try and save me
I just want your presence
show me that you need me
just not my tragic pre-tense
that peaks your very interest
and drives your whole existence
cause I want to be my own
and for you to know to trust me
like how I want to never doubt
I was more than just your charity
*about no one*
Sep 2013 · 659
When Vodka Tastes Like Love
tdf Sep 2013
Let's blow away all our cash
So the stars can look like home
And we can feel the water flow
Over goosebumps from each pash
And the cans that hit below
Aug 2013 · 2.7k
tdf Aug 2013
What's equality when theirs cops
Beating around the neighbourhood
With a loaded gun nudging guilt
On the wounded sides of the bullied
Spitting on the youth with a blind eye
Turned away from bottles of pills
That we're forced in innocent hands
Because apparently they had a
                  problem with authority
Unfinished indefinitely
Aug 2013 · 1.5k
tdf Aug 2013
shifting seasons
no more reasons
different textures
cut up pictures

chilled breezes
untamed seizures
present living
past escaping
                            I'm gone
Aug 2013 · 913
tdf Aug 2013
What changed?
          is it optimism
          or a new bed of lies

          forgiven scars
          or prophecies

What's choices without emotions
Why is that wrong
Jun 2013 · 597
tdf Jun 2013
and in low times on sad nights
black tendrils sliver from the darkness
and lick seducingly close at torn skin

promising sweet release from razor pain
whilst imbedding their poison in vessels
to be encompassed by welcoming lips
theyll be additions
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