you know how,
some day
our hearts will stop beating
finishing our journey to see the ending?

you are dying
constantly
every second you live
and there is a mysterious beauty
in the sense that
living is just a process of dying

sure, maybe we are never truly dead
but if thats the case,
we were never truly alive in the first place

these are not words to mourn
my dying insides

but rather
a tribute

to the beauty of never truly being alive
and living while dying at the same time

Released to be discovered

To be found in whole or not
An entirely new question

Living whole, dead partly
All my organs have blood gushing through them
But some of them feel absent

I enjoy being resuscitated
Bring me back to life when Im dead

Let air in my lungs
And sunshine on my skin

I know Im alive
I just cant wait to live again

When Im down
And fading like a flower withering away
Someone will shed tear for me

Darkness shines intensely on this endless road
Shadows rule over my somber field
The isolated wasteland looks so desolate
Not a single drop of tear to be found

You will never be located here
Forever be abandoned
You won't ever feel anything here,
Not even sorrow

Feeling dry as sand
Shiver down my spine
Waves of nothing hitting my face
I take pointless steps everyday
Dont bother moving around
Youd end up in the same place anyway

Perhaps Ill be here for a century
But who cares, tears wont find my eyes here

Don't call me a coward
Im not scared to feel
Im just scared for myself

So dont come find me with your feelings
I refuse to feel anything
Radiate me with nothing
So that tears wont find me

my poems
feed off of lost sleep
and slowing heartbeats

but when the mosters
hiding in the dark at night
won’t let me sleep

my poems
are what keeps me
from being overrun with fear

****** battle
A survivor
Exit wounds
Still he moves on
Bruised skin
Armored up
Cracked bones
More room for him to heal

Dont stop believing

Let me run around my mind
Cut me up a peice of peace
Countless hours spent doing pointless things
Perhaps Im bound to wasting time

If I could turn back time
Id find my *** a dream and start again

Poetry echos my sadness
Inside my empty cell of ribs
Spare me a second to breathe
My blood is barely flowing

Pull my skin off the bones
And youll find that it was just a cover
Im actually hollow inside

No wonder sadness echos inside me

"Im gonna **** myself"

I posted on Instagram

People liked it

Never allow your tears
To become a full stop to your emotions

Let them be commas
Flowing as your heart wishes

You are not suddenly fine
After crying for five hours

Let the teardrops
-Roll-
Off of your cheeks

They’ll wash your pain away

And leave behind
Open spots
For happiness to settle in

Lightning bolts in your hair
Flames out your mouth
Shooting star in your eyes

You look great
Whoever it is you are

You look great in my mirror
You look great in my eyes

Celebrate the dying of my feelings
Pay respect to my shell

Joy got diagnosed with depression
Sadness went to commit suicide
Anger is in a mental asylum
Disgust felt disgusted
Fear got scared of me

---

I feel nothing
Nothing is what i feel

When you hurt me
I feel nothing
Nothing is what i feel

Stab me, Slash me, Chain me and Torture me
I feel nothing
Nothing is what i feel

Dismiss me, Devalue me, Discard me
I feel nothing
Nothing is what I feel

my words speak my language
and my world revolves around my wreckage

your breath smells guilty
and after all that you have done

i shouldn’t be surprised, really
even after you have gone

youve patched up your mistakes pretty badly
but most importantly
i wont be calling you baby
for the rest of this reality

shut up and play along
until you get the chance

to bloom

smile, innocent one
but never hold your hand out

let them fall
watch them burn in flames

and when darkness retreats
back into your heart where it rests

you will be the only
bit of black
flowering in a land of light

I charged myself up
Just for you to drain me
You seemed to ignore my sincerity
And dismissed my efforts
You walked all over my dignity
I felt pain in every ******* step

There were times when I used to spark your light
Now that the room is dark, it must mean that its time to let me go
You drank up all of my energy
Now I feel so powerless

Isnt it wonderful
How distance amplifies motion

Youll never know
With your head stuck in the spotlight
How all the small entities
Blow life into the picture

not every drop of blood
flowing through my body
is as clean
as the water inside the sea

inside all our vessels
flows bad blood
but coming together
we can all flow along

we could be one
just like how all the seas
is just one big pool
made from small droplets

whenever life gets a little tight
with all the rounds that i fight
i just look up into the night
and keep waiting for the light

i tried writing something bright
but it just didn’t feel that right
the darkness decides what I write
but don’t worry, it’ll be alright

Not to be stuck in the past
But nor to forget your past

untouchable i stand
uncontrollable i live
unforgettable is the memory
unforgivable is you

impossible is forgiveness
improper is your attitude
inappropriate is your actions
insane is gonna be me

decomposing is my soul

My pillow is the only thing that lets me rest my head on
(And I think Im in love with it)

My heart hums a tune inside
And the vibrations tell me what to do

“Just mute it out”, people told me
So I just listened to what everyone else had to say

But sometimes, I tune back into the now silent channel
And quietly look back at who I used to be

Maybe if I loved myself a little more back then
My radio could have been heard by everyone
But nows a little too late to start over, isn’t it

Maybe turning the lights off
Will make me feel better
Since I wont be able too see
The monster that I’ve become

While everyone looks up at the stars
I look down and see the ground and my feet
They’re what I stand on, after all
The very foundation of me as a structure

Bumps smooth out with time
And cracks, well, leaves room for breathing
Maybe you don’t fit flush
But does that mean that you’re in the wrong place?

Your voice pierces through my eardrums
But it is not a sound that my brain welcomes
So I censor these distant vibrations
And walk on right past all of your questions

i fell again
after thinking i’d hit rock bottom

my mind, a relic from better times

it still dreams


occasionally i see the sky

and the sunlight punches me in the gut
every time it sees me

and the wind kicks me around
with the raindrops
like boulders hurled over my head


its all quiet
down this bottomless pit
with every scream
falling alongside you

i fell again,
thinking i was at rock bottom

yet everytime i fall, my screams scream right back at me

Death is inevitable
Its just a matter of when it comes
Early or later
It doesnt matter
Today or Tomorrow, in a hundred years
Who cares, all will turn to dust in the end

A meaningless structure of atoms
Thats what we are
Break everything down into molecules, atoms, quirks and electrons, then everything is lifeless
I wouldnt have had to exist if I wasnt here in the first place

undo big bang. please

An infinitely empty feeling overwhelms me sometimes
voids me of all emotions, numbs the senses
I hide away in my vacuum-sealed cage
each howl echoing inside my hollow mind

A man stands in the shattered mirror,
every broken peice telling a different story

Isn't it wonderful
how all these fragments
blow life into the picture?

maybe it isn't the mirror thats cracked
maybe its the man that can't be whole

hurt and ignored, i was barely living
i guess i stopped looking for myself at some point
no longer able to cope
i started to tear myself apart, piece by piece
my memories, just a momento of who i used to be

i came to you like an amazon package
yet you took all the love
and discarded the empty box it came in

every sound
eventually comes to an end

they seemingly
vanish into mere vibrations
and slowly
lose the story within

-

every sound
takes back the lives it lent

since your birth
you have been paying off
the debt you owe
by living everyday silently

-

every voice tells a different story
but every story is heard

your mountains of debt
are nothing compared to
what you borrowed
when sounds gave you life