adept

adept May 2018

i can't take knowing that it will never get better.

i don't know what to do,
i feel so guilty and would
switch places with you if i could.
but the world and the way it works
is cruel and doesn't work like that.

adept May 2018

your sweet deceitful disposition

when it comes to her,
you are harsh, to the point,
angry with anything going wrong.
but show no care to anything else around you,
no recollection of how the other
person that you are talking to will feel.

but the truth is i know what you are feeling
better than you do. and even if you don't want to,
trust me.

"don't ever talk about it"

adept May 2018

it was enough to be alive

i wish that i could see into
the minds of others

but wishing is not an option.

adept Apr 2018

belie.

they call me a liar.
and i admit that i am,
but the thing is that
i don’t care because
i stopped feeling a
long time ago.
except that is a lie too

"Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat"

adept Apr 2018

it’s not worth it’s wait

what have we done?
lying gets us nowhere
and now we are in deep.

i am not sure how to feel
or how to react but i know
that nothing good will come
from this.

adept Apr 2018

it's a blessing to be able to think like you do

i feel so strongly about you
and try to show it.
maybe you are just blind
or maybe i am just
making too many excuses for you.

i don't deserve this, i have done
nothing wrong.
but i still feel guilty

and yes, of course i have a close friend
that can listen so this weight
can be lifted
but if i told them
i could hurt them,
and make them feel the same way.

adept Apr 2018

no empathy: the depth

i don't think i will ever realize the true depth
of trouble i am getting myself into

because no matter how far i am under,
i never look up

and maybe this flaw will
be my downfall

because afterall, i'm living a tragedy