Sitting on the ottoman
That Ana made for me
Feeling early morning sun
With all my kitties three

Looking to my unknown friends
For their poetry and prose
Quietly just sitting here,
In this precious, rare repose.

These small moments gift themselves
For my  joy and reverie
An abundance there to fill my heart
Amid self calamity

Hurt, shoes and doubt, a cloak
A part of daily wear
But beneath the ***** garments
The joy of life is there

And so today I dress myself
In the peace of cotton white
cast off my stylized shoes and cloak
Button up this sunny light

And venture forth into the world
In no high fashion dressed
A humble and forgiving garb
Myself and others blessed

A blend of threads
Complex
Yet dead
Intertwining
Mingling
A braid on her head

She's young
Yet old
In mind
She's bold
Young girl
I could've told
Her
"Don't lose
that fierce sense
of self."

But she's gone
Moved on
Dismissive
She's become
It's like
Her identity
Was sold.

No more
Will she know
Who she is
She's only told
Things that don't make sense in her head.

She's lost.

Searching for answers
exploring space
behind lips
not yet
dry

Stretched out lobes                                  Clumped up makeup                                
I tug on them in the mirror                     I swipe some with my finger
I know I'll regret them later                    It shows the days wear & tear
But today isn't tomorrow                        Though that wasn't it's purpose      
And I'm not sorry                                     Meant to hide yesterday's worries

Sallow eyes                                                Fringe bangs gone amiss
I see them growing deeper                     My hair matches how I feel
Time grabs on them                                  No direction or intention
With pale cruel hands                              A mass of brown & blonde
Yet they are ever welcome                      Without a single purpose

I can see the buildings wrapped in cellophane
And the people crammed in their freezers
We are living in a pre-packaged world

Everything used to be planted and tended
And people grew out of ground like ivy

Plastered on the ceiling
Mind is always reeling
I don't like this feeling
Watching you stealing
Oh, you're so appealing
What are you revealing?

The one who you long for
Evades your eye
You talk to him like nothing
Has changed between you two.
And yet you know,
Deep in the labyrinth
of your aching heart,
You long for this boy like no other.
Ignore these feelings, its the only choice you have.
So ignore them you shall.
Until of course he wants you in return,
Once more.

I don't know how to talk
In the few minutes that we walk
In-between classes
Together.

You talk with such grace
At a troubling pace
While my mind freezes
And draws a blank

I have so much to say
But can't find the phrase,
As I get caught in your wonderful gaze
You take away my thought
You take away my words

When you look at me,
My tongue starts to twist
As I stare back in wondering bliss
At these eyes,
Deep as the ocean
Deep as a sea,
Light up as you speak,
Speaking only to me.

Thats all I can see,
Your eyes on me.

I loose track of time,
Perhaps lost in wonder
How those blue eyes of yours
Leave me longing for more.