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 Dec 2012 Tara M
Miss Honey
It’s like I’ve known you for twenty years
We have gazed the same stars and wandered the same paths
It was shape of your heart I was studying in my textbooks
all the gifts I have given leading me to gifting you myself
all the mistakes I have made showing me you are the one I do not want to mistake
mistake for a fling
mistake for a piece of my heart I could just let go
because we are so young and my heart is as old as this dirt beneath our shoes.

Your lips are the film reel that plays inside my head
I am distracted from this life,
from every eighteen year old telling me I’ll never make it
as they drive away in a brand new car,
Drive away. I know how you already crashed two others and your Daddy keeps buying more.

Will you ever learn the value of your privilege?

And will we ever learn the value of infatuation?

How could you ignore the perfection in someone’s infatuation?
That’s passion.

Have you ever worked so hard your own body betrayed you?
I stood forty hours a week
and the muscle in my back started biting at my insides
screaming and trying to tell me that it wasn’t worth it,
but I was driven by my passion and forty hours was worth the best four months of my life
Without that your presence would never have graced me
And this is passion.

Girl, there is a frenzy in my heart for you
and all that you do.
Because that night the moon lit up your face in loveliest way
and I saw every inch of you shine,
Gaby, you have the sun inside you and that is all I see
you are so beautiful it melted my wax heart
I carved it so well it even fooled me
and you saw right through to the imperfection
but kept going
and that part of you is so powerful
I know that no darkness could ever stop you.

I want to be there while you shine
I want to see you stride
right into my dorm room and
hold the flowers that I grew for you
eat the food that I have made for you
watch the L word
and take walks in the freezing snow with you
spend one more night on a pile of chopped up wood
And right now I carry you with me
you cling to the heart that I have placed on my sleeve
and I have trusted you to stay there
Stay, oh god, please stay

I need complications like I need a test to prove my intelligence

But I want you here to write a story with me in sync with our heartbeats
Cause since the moment your lips left mine I’ve been counting the seconds in time with your pulse.
Intended to be spoken word
Incomplete?
You took my heart,
And stomped out its flame.
You sought to destroy,
Something you thought you could tame.

You think you're so tough,
You can't boss me around.
That voice torments me so,
Such a thundering sound.

I had once loved you,
My thoughts of you I cannot shake.
I felt in the pit of my soul what we had was true,
But now you just make my ticker ache.

You never told me how you felt
Or how much you had cared
You had complete control of the place where my heart once dwelt
Which no other person has ever shared

have you always cared for me?

of course I have, why wouldn't that be?

my heart's still yours and yours is mine.

just take my hand and it will all be fine...
A wash of rainbow colours materialize from the faded sky blue
Somewhere in the world, you’re there too
Gazing up at the atmosphere gawking at the chromatic sight
Wishing a certain wish, for someone in your life    
            

Lonely, as lonely could be
Uncertain about the future, whether to fight or flee
The jaded green, scuffed and mangled, envelops our terrain
Ultimately, someday we will arrive back here again


The embraces and kisses will never occur too soon
Resulting in a budding romance that will eventually bloom
The time that was lost, will be regained
And all scars that were created, will no longer remain
 Dec 2012 Tara M
oh me oh my
They ask me if I still love you.

I blush, grin and say;

of course.

Why?

Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue,

but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea.

I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey.

I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance,

and the thunder rumbles from your irises,

and I hear it pound in the back of my mind.

I wonder if you knew.

I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while,

while you look at her.

My throat corrodes with bile.


She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents,

and I shrug.

What am I supposed to say?

I know you think about her.

Night and day.


The hardest part,

is a generic, old saying.

If you love them,

you let them go.

If they love you enough to stay,

or to come back,

you never let go.





But you haven't come back.
EDIT: Wow. Never expected this to blow up as big as it did. I thank you all so much!
EDIT: 2/15/14
i would say i never loved you, but that is a lie.
they say that your *first* love makes *you realize*, your first *love* wasnt really your first.
i pray for the day this happens.
*getting over you was the best thing i ever did.
and i did it for myself.*
so, one last:
*******.
you.***
EDIT: 9/14/14
i still hate you.
and you don't deserve her.
EDIT:   12/01/14
im sorry. you still arent
the same person
and neither is she.
but we all grow up.

EDIT
10/14/20
I was going through my bookmarks
on my old computer and found my old writings.
I just wanted to update this one last time to say things are better,
things are good. Thanks again for all the likes and comments.
 Dec 2012 Tara M
A
So that we can see
How one wall kisses to another
And because of this mutual affection
We have roof on our head.

An empty corner is a place
Where it is easy for spider to make a web
And a web is a reminder
We exist because we all are connected

Corners are asylum of our wounded hope
They say: let there be empty corners in our heart too
Because Love: The unknown guest,
Needs little space to grow,
Before it conquers whole world.
 Nov 2012 Tara M
DieingEmbers
Doctor Doctor I've got an ache
have you a pill that I could take,
to cease this beating in my chest
to give me peace to let me rest.

It doesn't hurt no not as such,
it's just I long to feel her touch.
to taste her lips to smell her skin,
can you not see the state I'm in.

She is my drug my cigarette,
my alcohol my need to bet.
The air I breath the food I eat,
the very ground beneath my feet.

The first the last my ev'ry thought,
the web of dreams in which I'm caught.
The scent I love after a storm,
the way her kisses keep me warm.

On second thoughts doctor forget,
I ever came we ever met.
For it would seem she gives me pain,
because her love drives me insane.

So let me ache for you ... Alone,
and let my need of you be known.
My summer love my Autumn tryst
just know one thing... you're always missed.
 Nov 2012 Tara M
Lauren
Maybe tomorrow
or the next day
     the next?
Possibly I'll find a loophole
to avoid getting this fixed.
And next week I'll crumble
from neglecting my head,
next year there is a chance
that I'll be bled out and dead.
Hell, an hour from now
a plane might fall
dive into my building.
I wouldn't mind if a disaster
accidentally killed me.
Tomorrow or the next day
or the next day or the next.
I'll never get it done, I know,
I'll never be my best.
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