Tamera Pierce

Nov 2015

Haruhi

Crack.

When my eyes shine there are tears threatening to fall.
When I smile there is a frown engraving itself onto me.
When I laugh there is a cry creeping into me.
I am a screen
When you look at me there's a crack.
When there's a crack there's a piece falling to the floor.
Crack.
When that piece shatters I'm less a person than I originally was.
When I appear happy there's a deep feeling of hatred within.
Crack.
Don't leave me stranded after the things you have seen,
instead stand by me and help me wash it off my skin.
Crack.

I feel kinda weird... but that's fine. Have a good night everybody. :3

Nov 2015

Haruhi

The Ugly Truth

I used to fear not being good
Enough for anyone else
But recently I have taken a liking
To not caring what they think
I have been afraid of
What people might think if
They found out who I actually was
Or rather what I liked
So this is the truth
The ugly truth
It's not fun being something else
I have been around too many friends that
Don't seem to care so why should I
I'm different and that's how
it's always been
The difference is I know it
But sadly, some others don't.

Tada! This is what happens when I'm left alone in my room. Thoughts come out. .-.

Nov 2015

Haruhi

Memories

It's 9:20 and the girl in front of me
is thinking about him
She's thinking about how he
can forget about what they had
She's thinking about how
bad she feels and
how it doesn't even seem to faze him

Is she not worth the memories?
Did he wipe their wonderful times
out of his mind
Or was he thinking she hurt
him so much that
he never
wanted to think of the
pain she caused him
ever again?

They see each other at school
practically everyday except
Saturdays and Sundays
Fricks' sake they even talk!
So why is it that he doesn't seem to
remember their relationship?
She still remembers

She still remembers his warm
greeting smile
The tender hugs that
just screamed
I love you

She was too shy and young
to say it back then
She'd always blush and look down
whenever he said that to her
She really couldn't control it

She knew she should
have said it back but she ended
up ditching him instead
yes she feels bad but
this isn't your normal kind of bad
This is the kind of bad
you get when you mix
fear and despondency
together in a bowl

Fear
because she doesn't want
to hurt anyone gain
Despondency
because she misses his warm embrace
and soft, vibrant smile

I have a little problem with this though
Why do I constantly narrate
my own life?
It's because I'm afraid of
saying I hurt him
I held him that
I had his smile for myself
and what did I do?

I threw it out like garbage
because I thought
I would ruin our relationship
sooner or later
I just didn't understand
the concept of
"breaking up" with someone
and "loving" someone

And so here I am lying
in bed
writing a poem about
the person I miss
just because
I couldn't say
"I love you"

Yeah......... so.................

Nov 2015

Haruhi

Inpending Sleep

As my eyes grow weary
My body starts to fall
I know now
that I need sleep
So tomorrow I can
be headstrong

Nov 2015

Haruhi

Joy

Joy is my life
She is the most beautiful girl
She is my woman
She knows how to dress to impress me
I love her with all my life
She can cook *** pies like
a southern woman
Joy brings me happiness
And puts a fascinating smile on
me everyday
Her smile brights up my day
Her laugh gives me comfort
Her eyes gray and blue
the colors of my mind
Joy can do everything
anything
I could never be mad at
Joy
Joy is my Jo-Bear
And Joy is mine

Joy is my girl and I love

#mygirl #jobear

Nov 2015

Haruhi

My "Dad"

When the air gets colder
And my clothes get heavier
Your hugs only seem to get warmer
Your kisses on my forehead only seemed to get sweeter

But that was all a dream a forgotten storm
You left so many years ago
I have even forgotten your rank
I have forgotten why you didn't come home

At first I only thought the worst
I only thought the inevitable
That you died in combat
That I wouldn't be able to say to
Good bye to you

I loved you so much
Mother says she kicked you out
because you
were mean to us
That you called us names

The sad thing is I only hold on to the
Fondest of memories with you
The happy ones
The ones where you held me and
Cradled me in your arms

I know somewhere in your heart you
Didn't come home because you
Didn't feel like abandoning your post
Or maybe you were way too busy!

I was only four when you left
I was a only a child
I was only a kid
When you left it was just brother
Mother and I

We made it work without you though
I grew up idolizing other father figures
I grew up wanting to be more like the
Man of the house to take over
YOUR role

Hey! You should see me now!
I am a teenager and I know you would
be proud of the woman I've turned into
If only you were here to see us
After all this time
And hey! Help my mom pay for
Things considering we are still your children
Maybe you should think about us

I know you're fighting with
The Marines but I still can't handle the fact
That I HAD a dad
That someone was there for us

But that's fine now
Who really cares
I know you don't

Uhm... I kind of... Uhh....Never mind.

Nov 2015

Haruhi

How?

The usual lives of every one gather
Dust in my mind
I really don't have time to
Sit and think about theirs

When I can sit and think about my own
And the mistreated people of the world
Or as a matter of fact how about
The friends I know
The friends that know
How their lives are

I know mine but I never took the
time to understand theirs
How can I call myself
A friend
When I can't even sympathize or
Be of comfort

How can I just sit back while some are being threatened
While some are being cursed at?
All this and my friends still take up for me
Is that what a real friend is?

How can I just sit there
While they're fighting my battles
How can I let myself be there for them
When I can't do anything

How can they expect me to be happy
All the time when sometimes
All I want to do is cry?

How can I know myself so well
But resent the fact I know myself at all
How can I force myself to
Be happy for the ones' I know
But not for myself

My laughter and smiles are not
Always genuine
I bet I fool my friends
I bet I fool them all
Heck I even fool myself sometimes

I know my friends well enough
To not let them
See me sad

The feelings are REAL. Right now....