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Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
You are really lucky my best friends don't know where you live.
You are probably very attached to your limbs. It would be a shame if they ended up UNattached. Careful. My friends and I are insane.
Inf!ckingsane.

Normal girls:

Girl: And that's what he said!

Friend: Oh, honey. He is a worthless ******* he doesn't deserve you. You can do so much better. Here, I'll be over in 30 minutes with ice cream and your favorite movies. Put on your sweats and we'll ***** about men for two hours.

And then there's us:

Me: There, that was the entire conversation.

Best friend in existence: K you get the chainsaw I'll get the knives.

Me: K cool. Meet at the flamethrower store.

Her: 10 minutes?

Me: See you then.

— The End —