I am sorry I picked you up
off the top of the fridge
and draped you scarflike
over my shoulders;

To be fair, the fridgetop
looked unsafe, even for
sure-footed feline folk;
then I couldn’t resist,

All that fur, fluffy and soft;
your reprimand was
fairly played; forgive me,
you make a cozy scarf


NCL October 2019

Your trip is not a secret
You can’t hide it from the Cat
She knows who comes and goes
And when they should, at that

She’s marked all the luggage
On the inside and the out
Any pets you might encounter
Will know you’re hers, no doubt

She hopes you booked the sitter
And not boarding at the vet
Bastet forbid you take her along
Cats neither forgive nor forget

Extra treats will be in order
And scratches round her ears
Wouldn’t want your favorite chair
To meet claws like pruning shears

But have a great adventure
That Cat says you need not worry
She’ll guard her castle expertly
Take your time, don’t hurry

NCL July 2019

“***, human,” she says
With her whiskers and tail,
“This no name brand soup
Is definitely a fail.
No wonder the children
Only ate a bite or two,
The soup is so bad
I’ll be lucky to spew.”

The Cat was innocently
Sitting on the counter
When she noticed
The human noticing her
With a twitch of her whiskers
And a sniff of disdain
Down jumped the cat
Proclaiming her free reign

With her tail held up high
And her chin in the air
The Cat sashayed by
Seemingly without care
She absolutely wasn’t
Plotting or scheming
Cats don’t make plans
They’re only daydreaming

Now perched by the window
Eyes mostly closed
The Cat waits for a moment
When she’s unopposed
Finally, it happens
The humans have all left
The time has arrived
For a dashing, daring theft

Upon their return
The humans will discover
The dinner they left out
Was half-consumed by another
The Cat hasn't a clue
How this came to pass
She would never steal food
Of course she isn't that crass


NCL 2019

Kitty says she has not been fed
Is this claim false or true?
Her plate is half full, her water is clear
So why does she chirp mee-yoo?

Kitty says we are starving her
Though to pick her up is a struggle
The vet says she’s hefty but we both know
There’s a lot of fur in that snuggle

Kitty says she would like attention
Or to play with the laser pointer
A belly scratch begs for trouble
But I hate to disappoint her

NCL May 2019

The Cat is in the box
The box is too small
She sleeps by the fire
Caring not at all

NCL April 2019

The Cat was sleeping on the chair
Beneath the table, that is where
She woke to find herself entrapped
She circled twice and then, unflapped,
Stretched through a tiny gap and
Like a slinky, or sleight of hand
Slow at first and then quite fleet
She descended indiscreet
Streaking off to cat-knows-where
Not two minutes passed out there
When she returned swift and steady
Jumped up, peered out, cat ninja ready

NCL 2019

The cat would like to make it known
That the conditions in her drop zone
Have not been sufficiently attended
As such, her visits are now suspended

Of course, she didn’t say it with a note
Feline communication can be cutthroat
No texts, no gestures, no logical clues
She left a warm “present” in vacant shoes

A warning, a show of superb restraint,
If things don’t improve post-this complaint
If her privy is not lavishly filled
The cat will show she’s not just one-skilled

Her range is amazing, very precise
She doesn’t go big, when small will suffice
She hopes that her message is well received
And improvements are directly achieved