Do you remember that time?
My family has a home video of it.
It was my birthday,
and we were little kids,
and there's this moment in it
where we are standing quietly -
Staring at each other
Awkwardly.
You smile and giggle,
and I smile too,
but only a little,
because I'm trying to be still.
When I see it, it's like walking into a time portal.
I remember what I'd said to you.
I remember how I'd felt:
Like everything was moving too fast,
so I asked you for some help.
I said,
"Just stand here a minute. Don't move.
Let's just stand here for a second."
And you did.
And there it is!
Us standing awkwardly right in the midst
of chaotic childhood revelry -but removed from it.
We're like two young souls frozen
forever in a moment that made no sense,
and when I see it,
I long for that first loss of innocence.
And I miss you