I've been through this before,
You think I won't catch on.
I pay attention,
Its not that hard to see.

One minute you give me the world,
The next you hardly give me a glance.
I make the effort,
You used to do that too.
You give me excuses,
Now we hardly talk.

I knew it was too easy,
Too good to be true.
I was waiting for the other shoe to drop,
And it did.

I'm not going to beg,
I deserve more than a read text.
If you won't put in the effort,
Then neither will I.

I gave you chances,
The benefit of the doubt.
You showed your true colors,
And their nothing but darks.

I thought we clicked,
Felt a spark as we talked.
I opened up to you,
Slowly but surely..
You even stopped
No longer cared
Now we're here.

I thought we could have been more,
But I deserve a better man.
A man who makes the effort,
And manages their time.
I tried with you,
I really did....

I don't care for liars,
Despise dishonesty.
You can lie to my face,
But I knew you were a liar.

There's nothing more to give,
I doubt we'll talk again.
Those sweet words,
As empty as the air.

Don't bother now,
I started moving on from you.
Tomorrow will be a new day,
And a new possibility for love.

It's funny how society shows us how to opress

The depressed teens and adults of this generation.

“It’s just a phase”

“I had it worse when i was a child”

“Attention seeking liar”

“Get over it”

But maybe i can’t get over it.

Depression turned my once happy stream of joyful thoughts

Into a rainy, dark pit of sadness.

A pit only to be filled with

Helplessness, insomnia, self-destruction, and a little madness.

This illness has broken me

I feel like I have to carry the burden of darkness on my shoulder

And each time I try to get better, I regress.

The only way to repress my feelings is to let

Niagara Falls drip from wrists, to my stomach, to my hips, & to my thighs

And hide it with a mouthful of lies

My inner demons gained control over my brain,

Bringing me so much pain that it became hard to do anything.

Even eating became a chore

Because it was hard to eat when I can’t even look in the mirror without fear

Of the Image standing in front of me.

Ugly, worthless, stupid

You don’t even have the drive to stay alive,

So why care about yourself or your health?

You’re better off dead.

But of course, it was all in my head, so no one understood.

No one understood that i stayed up til 4 in the morning

Having a mental breakdown, with death on my mind.

I just wish someone could reach behind my mask and find the real me

The sad me

The broken me

The mentally drained me

The me that has been drowning in my own darkness for years now

This grove,
I’ve been here before many times
So green, pure and warmly serene
It feels so right to be here, so good
Yet, somethings missing from this place
I’m sure its been here many times before
But every time I arrive
It seems I’ve just missed it
And all that’s left are the remnants

Footprints in the soft grass
Elegant, effortless, peaceful
The sweet smell in the air
Vibrant, free, joyful
And echoes of a song
pure, clear, and serene

I run hopefully into this grove each day
And when the spirit of this place flows through me
the flowers rise and reach for the sky
so beautiful, so full of life
but when I see she’s gone away
and again, I’m too late
the flowers fall back into the earth
and wait
wait
for that moment

the moment when we both arrive
and all the hope I’ve ever had is met
eye to eye
heart to heart
and soul to soul
the moment when all the mystery, all the waiting
and all the hopeful, missed chances come to truth
the day that I run into this grove and find her there
not leaving, not fading, but staying, remaining
I don’t know what ill say, what ill do or how ill be
But I do know
that all those flowers that only ever rose to fall
they’ll stand up
straight, strong, bright and tall
and they’ll stay.

But it would seem today is not that day
Again her presence slipped past me as I entered this grove
So for now ill just sit here in stillness
gaze at the peaceful way she walked,
breath in the fragrance of the joy she left in the air,
watch the flowers as they rise and fall
and sleep as I listen to the echoes of this song

Ill sit here and bask in these wonderful remnants as they fade
Always returning to wait in hope for that fateful day
And maybe the next time she arrives as I have gone
She’ll sit down
look at the footprints
Smell the air
Watch the flowers
And listen to my song

Staring at a little dot
Still as it can be
Being controlled like a bot
Let me be me

Help me get away
From this evil curse
Cause every time I try
It only gets worse

Looking for the light of day
Never to be found
Always staring at this dot
Never getting away