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Theo Apr 12
well, im back
guess i couldnt be held back too long, anyways-
and then

man why the heck am i doing all this?
all of this poetry and this stuff?
and i palpably feel the block too-

feel the feeling that wont allow me
just permit me
to say what i want to

instead of these fancy hininks and
CONCEPTS
to just separate me from a veneer;

always,
always in the
rage and its not even me.

yes
opening to
deep darkness - the holy kind; now-

every day is earth day.
poetry is not a nautch girl of the mind
and it deadens me

to see all the potential here that is
used to just stimulate the paltry faint
prostituting of the Divine Soul of the Poetry.

Im sure some of us know of Hinduism?
yes?
so we must know of Rishis too, may be.

Rishis are the sages,
above those of the Pantheons of the gods goddesses too,
in fact, yes, the holy ones fear rishis.

why am i bringing this up?
rishis have a synonym- listen up y'all,
all of you poets- this is about you-

rishis are called KAVIS
seers
diviners

those who have a acute sense
a sense for what the rest of man dont.
poetry is a magickal act,

that the pen is mightier than the sword
is no excuse not to wield both
with skill and the intent to ****.

Poetry relegated to a nautch girl of the mind,
poets are poets because
NIHILIO HUMANIS ALIENUM

and yes this does seem as sermonising,
perhaps. perhaps,
but perhaps this is in truth a request-

we need poets now more than ever.
what is the role of the rishi?
THE RISHIS CREATE BELIEF SYSTEMS

all religions, listen up y'all - this concerns you-
all religions are a porduct of a  poet,
and the poet who uses skillful means to break through the OBVIOUS and LAZY work;

such as - o muni is another word for
kavi for rishi-
sakyamuni or Buddha? yep,

a poet.
anyways-
ahh with that rant out lets break it down.

i truly desire only to be seen
by my family and my old circle of friends
to truly be seen by you, now- and just be said

hey man, i see what you've been doing
i see how much of yourself youve given
and keep giving

and i know youre actually doing this for me,
and seriously man, who are you?
who cares THIS much to help someone not themselves?

who chooses to voluntarily sacrifice themselves and go crazy
so that we know that theres a whole and consummate
PROBLEM with the way things are now.

mostly man, youre not alone
i love you and i respect what you're doing
and I WILL thank you

not in words,
but rather,
rather by following the trail

the trail of following
the ever ECSTATIC call of my own soul
and yes, i WILL TELL you in words

that i have YOU to thank for
all of this.
sigh, yes, that is all i really wanted to hear.

and be hugged a lot more, consensually;
and joined in my party-making;
that is how i live my life

i need some company
with all this DIVINE MADNESS
ive got spilling left right and all eight other

directions too.
just a few Horizon Anarchists,
high on integrity, on discipline

and especially
on TRANS-THEFUCK-GRESSING
and that we simply, o simply, o o o simply-

Drop Out
Tune In
Drop In.

and why?
because it is only dead myths that cause
cancer in our bloodstreams.

and why?
for through poetry we literally create
universes and realities, and the framework for religions.

and why?
because we must own the power we've been
blessed with and repay the way we got it.

and why?
because the earth
is in desperate need for peace and love.

and why?
because this new republic according to plato
will have no need for poets philosophers and fools and thus they rule with their tyranny.

and why?
because we must not leave the unbroke. threads
left behind by our flaming ancestors die out.

and why?
because we wake up every day, count every breath
and rebirth magic into the very culture that chooses to **** us.

and why?
because we
REAL COOL.
NaPoWriMo day 12 - to my teachers.
Theo Apr 11
deja vu
a lot now days.
hungry,
and waiting to eat!
HERE, NOW!
a feasting i-go.
chose the former,
and that made
all the difference
in the world.
(DIDJA JUST QUOTE FROST FOR YOUR BREAKFAST CHOICE? YA DARNNED RASCAL! (heh!))
NaPoWriMo day 11
Theo Apr 10
How I Used My Nightmares to Become Rich and Famous
-
Well,
there was

this first one:
that i am stupid.

used that to
change my behavior; NOW-

I AM STUPID!
then, another:

guilt & shame for wanting to copulate
with all and every one;

used that to the
gentle way and came back

with
I am pink. Heaven and Hell are equally repulsive

to me!
love and love and love-

which i took to mean
SAVE EVERYONE,

anyone who cares and comes into my life
IS SOMEONE I HAVE TO SAVE;

oh bother!
so broke off a lot of ties-

those in which i was a savior - talk about BORING!;
and these others

where i became
the common denominator

and why?
so that id fit in.

and why?
because i was scared and lonely.

and why?
because its easiest to fit in and numb oneself.

and why?
well I'm a little bit of a RASCAL too!

and of course
the nightmare of POVERTY!

and of being FAMOUS
with the ability to sway one others life trajectory--

GAVE IT UP!
traveled amongst those on the belowpovertyline

slept on streets,
floors of trains,

meditated in toilets and latrines,
overlookong, rather!

and generally work with disgust and grimaces!
the other?

MADE MYSELF REPULSIVE TO ALL THOSE
WHO WOULD'VE BENEFITED

AND CHANGED THEIR BEHAVIOR
HAD I "MADEIT" (hah! flipp that doodle!);

and of course lastly,
torture-

opened myself so much,
became so in tune with expressing myself,

that i was in hell, well Sartres anyways-
always standing out;

and realised a concomitant fear-
standing out makes one conjure up scenes

in min,
where torture is very possible.

that one, bless the Divines,
helped me see how armored and sheltered i remain

always
in perpetuity.

AND THATS THE STORY FOLX
OF USING MY NIGHTMARES
TO BECOME RICH (a mindset not a bank balance!)
AND FAMOUS (being known past ALL the layers to the core of that which is probably mostly with ALL!)!

ha!
NaPoWriMo Day 10, a inspiration from Rob Brezsnys televisionary oracle
Theo Apr 9
Just now

lost Kichi--

my girlfriend

panicked &

FREAKED out.

i did not;

alas i

felt as a scoundrel!

a no-good!

WHODOESNOTPANICGODDAMNIT

&

ialwaysknewyoydidntcareyoupsychopathnarcissist.

then walked

a slow

up the

roads ahead--

she with

a new pack of three.

i said

i am not proud enough

to say i will care for Kichi

more than these three of her own kind.

well, anyways-

wind and breeze.

green trees and

WATCHING A LOT OF HUMAN CHILDBIRTH VIDEOS.
NaPoWriMo Day 09
Theo Apr 8
i am too,
so much blood,
on these nails.

My tears
arent enough--
not ever.

in all these nights;
blood spilling left right--
and we are all
just kept dragging delusionally.

Yes
this
changes
now.
NaPoWriMo day 08
Theo Apr 7
In ten days,
the whole bowels,
finally cleared - spring.
NaPoWriMo day 07
Theo Apr 5
Oh

so much adultery;
tobacco, chocolate, coffee, ***** (SHROOMS!!)--

Yes.

Oh so many lovers,
no care for-
G-END'er;

oh my holes and my letting--
blood no less;

STRIP
off mewings and then!

** hey!

now come again,
come come c-
OM--
again!

this intoxicant as
LOVERS!--
amidst a distant revel rumble rustling roots rather resting really --

dadumpdadumpdadumpdadump!

OVER-
stimulated;

o-
come of it
yer

JUST

a ***** and no no no no!-
no more.

yes,
intoxicated and rather--

(whats that word again? (you're just trying to impress you know it!(hey dont scold him!) - im not just pointing out that hes being flamboyant!(well leave 'im Be!) ; sigh) right! remembered!)-

reveling.
NaPoWriMo Day 05
Theo Apr 4
just let out a really long ****.

today I've decided to cut ties with parents & bro.

oh you know! this means extended family too!

woohoo! well, yes, yes, i hear ya- what about dolladolladolladolla bills?

** hey! yes that too there be and slowslowslow slowly!

and now i take a deep breath.

ten thousand days i have spent in that fire.

always blames myself - o yea--

thats 27 years by THE WAY!-

kichi growls at bhavana- she herself gave her the foodo.

and now a fresh morning.

and here a new story unfolds.

oh guilt oh shame- ye've loved me so!

thank ye for keeping ke warm and pointing to me.

pointing where home is no longer home.

but a collection of ******* fatcats waiting for their

MOREMOREMOREMOREMORE.

and yes, we do come from a rich family- allthebetter;

i would say- yes!

and further- hey thats me!- this is it-!-

that i stand my own. thanks for all the--
NaPoWriMo day 04
Theo Apr 3
they wrote a good poem,
they were acknowledged, approved, SEEN-
** my lonely, broke heart;
you yet have me.
ah and the other me too--
This one, that spites and spews and vitriols as lovers often
are wont to do.
ah my love,
yes, come,
CLOSE (
and no that was a whisper not
A SHOUT! (THAT WAS THOUGH!))
so close,
that -
drop, drop,
sssssssss,
the whistle
wouldnt budge
and it is time,
to find love ANEW now,
and begin
this new life of ours.
NaPoWriMo day 03
Theo Apr 2
(bah!) - Poetry,
oh gosh **** it-
BAH!-
how you in-
toxic-
ATE!-
me.
drunk on rhythm,
flirting with rhyme;
the logic beyond one plas one
to-
all sounds,
all beats,
all feelings,
all time-
all, all in tune!
that each and Every-
that is E-V-E!-
beat in tune with the sound of feeling, felt time.
BAH!-
poetry...
napowrimo day 02
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