A toxic substance lurks in the shadows of the underworld
Recesses of use crowd the masses to those addicted to a powerful jolt
Threading and entangling it's user and feeding on it's host
A powerful spell of the destructive malign force
Too weak to resist its temptation I must take another toll
Step in the booth and be served at the store
Where hard candy is toxic and the ice melts by flame
A steady flush of adrenaline followed by a calm forceful rush
Oh how feeble I have become...
The speed got me tripping I hate yet embrace
A dance with the devil I must cling to faith
But am happy I say won't sleep for two days
I dread those night terrors they don't stay away
Hearing those voices that talk in my head
Feeling paranoid what can I say?
Should suicide be the answer I'm asking away...but no one yet hears me...is this the final breath?
Inhaling the poison that triggers the euphoria
Am feeling ecstatic deep in and yet dysphoric...I know is the devil I must stay away...
But into a high thats long here to stay...my mind says 13 hours my body 45 minutes and should go away...
Capturing moment by moment analyzing deep within the monster should stop I can't feed him today...
A cycle of addictive behavior has come and is here to stay ...
I must let go now I don't want to be this way...
My doppelganger is speaking I must listen to he ... but he is dark and tormented should I go or should I stay?
Let me do this my way I told him briefly...but with only a gesture my will broke just kneeling..
A part of me is devilish and slowly feeding...
Learning the ways of the world i must stop him soon he's living within...me.
I realized I'm the only one who can come against him and battle this fight...but I need some help oh warriors of light
Come bring me some comments and encourage me to go on thinking I can break my destrucive habit...
For this is the Devil trying to **** me am dying...
**** I slipped again **** I did it again...so sorry to cuss I don't mean to offend.
I know I should be holy I know I should be a light...
But my light slowly dimming just flickering with flight.
BUT...I do promise this...I may be high and obscene at this moment already more evil on my mind...
But what can I do am human I cannot let this animal rush vanish like it has raised...
With tears in my eyes and blood in my soul I ask in lamentation for forgiveness your grace my Lord. Your highness...
Then the doppelganger part of me jumps in interrupts says " you must be stupid he isn't listening your high and your a mess"...
Your right I quickly come to respond and then I lay in my bed to think briefly...am I still awake...
It's three eleven in a quiet morning of Wednesday night August 25th...
I should of been sleep long ago my body says...I come to think of my health yes...this must go away. Need to break this addiction it's a heavy heavy chain.
Must carry my cross to the tip of the mountain must pray there alone to the God of above...
I'm here Lord am here...please hear me I've come home.
©Franko the Christian Poet