Now I understand
That I was subconsciously angry at you
Because I thought
You were too invasive on my life.

Because I thought you influenced me too much.
Because I have not felt free enough in our relationship.
But I am seeing now that it was me who wasn't able to be herself all along from the start.
I fell into a cage that I myself had built.
Then I blamed you for it.
Well now it's too late.
Or is it not?
At least that realization is the most valuable so far.

And it brings relief.
It was me who could not feel and be free.
I realize and see this now.
Only now.

I was angry at you for something you have never done in the first place.