trapped in a child’s backpack
disguised as a lunch sac
really its a sac of crack
I take a hit
then I’m on the attack
looking for a ***** to smack
or getting first in track
in the 69 meter dash
faster than flash
that’s what happens
when crack and I clash
why every time I see a dumpster
I want to swim in the trash
I find some old ladies to flash
cmon don’t hold back
let me see some saggy **** fast

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

these lyrics you will try to mimic
but me my self and the critics
can tell your full of **** kid
my rhymes go for the highest bid
yours go for less than a fat guys skid
marks, underwear found in the park
because someone **** themselves
and then said oh well
when life gives you lemons
then go home commando
and hide your **** dyed
I bet that **** on your legs dried
you hid them in the sandbox
the first kid that found them cried
from that moment on
that kid is now scared for life
and in ten years he will go to class with a knife
and end up doing 20 to life
so the moral to this story is
don’t do drugs and make sure
you keep your ******* tight
or you will **** yourself
and ruin some poor kids life

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

I master bate 15 times a day
I think that means I’m gay
getting off to videos by drake
I always *** when it transitions to Wayne
isn’t that the worst thing
finishing when transitioning
to a ****** alien so lame
I think I’m going insane
I’m always stuck in my brain
trying to figure out which
backstreet boy I want to impregnate
why does life feel so fake
my mind is about to break
i day dream all day
about drake using a shake weight
just kidding everyone knows I’m straight
just ask my boyfriend
you will see him at my wake
cause tomorrow I’m going to die
I’m taking my own life
because we live in a simulation
and I don’t like this character
so I’m switching my controller
my soul I will register
pay my membership fees
and live my next life much better

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

Parody of Eminem's classic "Stan". TW: Graphic ****** content*

The tea's not cold I'm wondering why I
got in your bed at all
my ***** brain clouds up my sense though
and I can't breed at all
and even if I could it'll all be gay
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's all I have
it's all I have.

The tea's not cold I'm wondering why I
got in your bed at all
my ***** brain clouds up my sense though
and I can't breed at all
and even if I could it'll all be gay
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's all I have
it's all I have.

Dear Jim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my Grindr, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two messages back in autumn, you must not a got 'em
there's probably a problem when I post often or somethin'
sometimes I wear dresses and get too sloppy when I'm joggin'
but anyways, **** me, up my ****, I'm a power otter
I'll probably get pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a daddy
if I have a daddy, guess what I'm a call him?
I'm a name him Ronnie
I read about your Uncle Bonnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend **** himself over some ***** who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day
but I'm the biggest man
I even got a bigger **** than Dan
I got a room full of your posters and pictures man
I like the **** you did with Rawkus too, his **** was fat
anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me from the back
then we'll chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
another man.

The tea's not cold I'm wondering why I
got in your bed at all
my ***** brain clouds up my sense though
and I can't breed at all
and even if I could it'll all be gay
put your picture on my Facebook wall
it reminds me that it's all I have
it's all I have.

Dear Jim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's ****** up you don't answer my demands
if you didn't want to talk to me outside your **** you didn't have to
but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
that's my little brother man, he's only sixteen years old
we waited in the blistering cold for you
for four hours and you just said "no"
that's pretty ****** man, you'd like ******' his guy hole
he wants to **** just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
remember when we met on Grindr, you said if I'd write you you'd write back
see I'm just like you I'm gay
I ****** a swallower named Caesar
then a guy named Tom and a guy named Peter
I can relate to how you're playing in a thong
so when I have a ****** day I drift away and put 'em on
'cause I don't got **** else so that **** helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
sometimes I even **** myself to see how much it bleeds
it's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
see everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
my boyfriend's jealous because I talk about you 24/7
but he doesn't know you like I know you Jim, no one does
he don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man
I'll be the biggest man you'll ever lose
sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too.

The tea's not cold I'm wondering why I
got in your bed at all
my ***** brain clouds up my sense though
and I can't breed at all
and even if I could it'll all be gay
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's all I have
it's all I have.

Dear Mister "I'm too good to call or write my mans"
this will be the last package I ever put in your ***
it's been six humps and still no *****, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two pictures and I put my dresses on perfect
so this is my *** I'm sending you, I hope you spear it
I'm in the bar right now, I'm doing 90 guys to be gay
hey Jim, I drank a fifth of Bob's ***
you dare me to ride?
You know the song by Macklemore, "Same Love"?
About that guy who could've had *** with that other guy but didn't
then Macklemore saw it all and then had to show he found him?
That's kind of how this is, you could've rescued me from other guys
now it's too late, I'm on a thousand poppers now, I'm *****
and all I wanted was a lousy letter then your *****
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my Facebook wall
I love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it
you ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
and when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you cream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breed without me
see Jim, shut up *****! I'm tryin' to talk!
Hey Jim, that's my boyfriend screamin' when I ****
but I didn't use his throat, I just tied him up, see I ain't like you
'cause if he suffocates he'll *** more and then he'll ride too
well, gotta go, it's almost in my **** now
oh ****, I forgot, how am I supposed to **** this **** out?

The tea's not cold I'm wondering why I
got in your bed at all
my ***** brain clouds up my sense though
and I can't breed at all
and even if I could it'll all be gay
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's all I have
it's all I have.

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been blue
you said you're pregnant now, how far along are you?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daddy that
and here's a **** pic for your brother
I made sure to show my mushroom cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the ****, I must've missed you
don't think I did that **** intentionally just to diss you
but what's this **** you said about you like to **** ***** too?
I say that **** just clownin' dog, come on, how ****** up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some **** rings
to help your **** from bouncing off the walls when you get in some
and what's this **** about us meant to be together?
That type of **** will make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your little brother need each other
or maybe you just need to treat him better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
if you relax a little, I'd be glad to be inside you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as my man
I just don't want you to do some crazy ****
I seen this one **** on the news a couple weeks ago that hardened my ****
some dude was ****** over and over like a *****
even his boyfriend was ******, and he was pregnant with his kid
and in their car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
come to think about it, his name was, it was you
whoopsie daisy!

look
look at me
don't call me a king
i'm not a king
why be a king
when you can be
a god?
it ain't that hard
but it ain't easy
not even a little
it's closer to misery
closer to pain
closer to never
nothing is gained
except for the pain
the pain

Verse 1:
Our eyes meet
Feel the heat
Have to take a seat
For a beat
I can't speak
Can't even breathe
You sweetly sweep me
Off my feet completely
Weak in the knees
Can't help but stare at your back
Hoping you'll look up and stare at me back
I would approach you but I lack the tact
Fuckboys all that I attract
Does not take a genius to see that
Out of my league and that's a fact
Working up nerve to make some sort of sound
That exact instant you turn around
I tell by your smile you feel the butterflies flutter
In your gut
Get up
Put one foot in front of the other
Strut towards me
I am struck
Muscles melting like butter
Ask for a light
My voice is stuck
But I stutter
A muttered reply
****** up
Not even drunk or high
You ignite not just your cigarette
But a fire inside
Exciting sides of me I thought had died
I can't hide

Hook:
I'm a spacebound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250,000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you

Verse 2:
I finally feel like I have reason to live
Maybe an angel like you could forgive
For the things I couldn't give
For all of the dumb things I did
****
No joke
I tripped over you and fell
Too deep of water to swim so I flail
For a moment forget where I am and can't tell
Apart from copycats imitating well
Be exactly like us
They want to excel
In a phony heaven but life is really hell
Scream my color but the world is black and white
And backdrops move but you remain in my sight
But you found me alright
The truth in dead of night
Like a screenplay I might write
And for once get it right
Sitting there in front of me like I got my happy ending tonight
I felt simple for the first time in my over-complicated life

(Hook)

Verse 3:
Processing in your head what the **** I just said
Marriage is a concept way over your head
So you reject my proposal with a shake of your head
and break my heart as easily as you break communion bread
Walk all your good intentions out the door instead
If you don't want to spend your life with me you might as well be dead
Alas the long awaited impending end has arrived with dread
I grasp at missed chances but every last one has fled
My mind keeps on warping
How much more can it bend?
Till it finally is broken?
Hoping for days tears will end and peace will be awoken
I toss and leave my fears with you to keep as a token
Use silence because this time goodnight is better left unspoken

Bridge:
I should have never expected you to feel the same
I shall embrace the misery and face the constant pain
Escape from day to day sorrow and give in to the stress
While body sleeps my brain will fly away and reminisce

(Hook)

You tell me

“You’re my heart and I’m your armor”

What a
Beautiful
Powerful
Phrase

How magnetic
How poetic
How incredible

Here’s a little Eminem for ya

“My body aches when I ain’t with you, I have zero strength. There’s no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths.”

Who the hell you think are to be demanding me a poem?
Mozart of this art like all these written no-gimmick lyrics are my profession,
Woah, that flow's a shard piercin' you and while you're bleedin', I tell you a fine confession:
This is freedom of expression, this is me out of depression, physics is nowhere near a suggestion for reason behind the never-yet-reached depths of my perception.

Boy you be readin' these ill lines by a writer so sublime, you couldn't fathom or imagine what it's like to be behind the steerin' wheel of the high-paced drive up in my mind,
All these spitting free-verse like that's skilled, yeah sure but they're nowhere close to flowin' poems so potent it could blind,
You can play this like over to cope, you'll need to pause and rewind not one, two, three but at least four times.

This is be that sick spittin' raw ****, you aint heard on the radio,
This be that thick ****, masculinity half gentleman half wild-lion ROAR and make those ladies hoes,
This be the new age slim shady yo, basic rappers way too slow, Mumble rapping on a track and reading **** like BABY PRO,
Na **** that mainstream ****, dawg this be that underground vicious ****,
Boy I've been slitting throat downtown before rap ever was for the ***** *****,
I'm that middle-school rap era, where gangsters could mean black but also Vinnie Paz, shout-out to the most-feared real-deal Gladiator straight from that Sicily pit,
I love Paz for his delivery, flow and anti-gimmicky lyrical potency like no other G that'***** that'***** the scene,
I love Tech for the flow man, Em for the show and love Minaj for puns and Hopsin for being the pioneer or bringing REAL RAP back, he's a cunning industry player but **** HE GOT FLOW. Chris Webby for the raw masculinity-vibe progressive ****, spreading those vibes getting the world to hear his messages,
I love Bugzy and Devs and a little Wiley doesn't hurt,
Grime Scene's a beautiful off-shoot of rap that unlike mumble crap is an old beautiful tree that grew straight from the dirt,
Imma leave it here, let me on this site so your ***** can squirt,
If you're a guy you'll wish you were me but turnin' me down's buryin' what you know be that legit **** that like a Phoenix'll rebirth.

Like ******* a **** and you can't get hard,
Like rolling a blunt that's full of glass shards,
Like a bowling stunt where the pins are yards,
Away and you must stay put loaded with gin and not on guard,
While there's jaywalkers walking cross the alley and snipers far,
Up both sides, moss covered camouflage dilly dallying,
Falling comets, planets and stars while you ***** black tar out your scars, Sick spurting **** out the pit of your face and tripped on a lace falling down along with Mars.

Faster than my **** grows when I'm hitched, race-cars, bullets, and the suicide of a suicidal emo ***** with a mullet, grab the **** and pull it off and roll it up like the glass when you rolled it in the paper faster than a rapers hips going twitch twitch twitch, ***** you know it, she's on the list.

But you're soft and no fist can fit and what the **** is this about, just **** I coughed up and spout out my mouth, if it makes sense, even a little, I am not dense with my rhymes, raps, and riddles, there's meaning to it all, whether its beaming or dull, but I guarantee it's full and fits and flows when I say it to a T, you say my **** blows, well that's just mean, you say it's great, my confidence ovulates, so use it as bait as I eat off this plate, this 5 star rated treat elevated to six star cuisine meat.

I'll continue later in few poems that are greater and like haters, I won't stop planning and plotting out **** like these lyrics, I'm a creator.

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment
Would you capture it, or just let it slip?

Yo! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's ***** on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking, how? Everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over—blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity, oh
There goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad but he won't
Give up that easy, no, he won't have it, he knows
His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter, he's dope
He knows that but he's broke, he's so stagnant, he knows
When he goes back to this mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody
Better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him