Ditched by the people I used to love
Thoughts dashed apart by uncertainty
But hey, it's my life.
Lord of what I see, king of the carnivals of ruin.
On hold, is what we are.
On hold, is what we were..
I can't hold on, to an empty space.
But I've learnt to take it easy on myself.
Yeah.
The new intros.
The old rusty confessions.
The islands, the bridges now burnt.
My life and yours, in VCR.
My breath, chained in yours.
This basic space, together.
In the sunset that never came.


Her records start to screech to a halt, my tears begin drying up.
Her portrait begins turning blood red,
my foaming mouth closing up.

In this darkest dungeon
Men with scars march to uncertainty
In promise of wealth and glory
Or perhaps for some penance

Silently they ensure grotesque sights
Macabre beings by its end
Blight corrupting life's blood
Time at its cruelest and most ironic
But the ticking matches with every heartbeat
Their saving grace, the dying torch
And their tears, all dried up and wizened

Composure collapses as comrades fall
Mind's grip loosening and squealing
Insignificance breaking them
The thoughts and regrets
A spot of hope in the darkness snuffed
Just as quick as it came

A thudding heart in the void
A thudding madness
Where do they tread on now?
The chanting grows louder
Dry lips, bloodshot eyes.
Finally, their tormentor in sight
Gnarled fingers tremble in sword grips
Bowstrings fiddled with, dirks clanging

Vapors give rise to rage
A vile disgust and unfathomable sorrow
A dread affirmation of nihilistic proportions
But nothing mattered, except the moment.
And the screaming of the void halted
The beating of the heart stopped
They fell to their knees, never the same again.

And finally, it is rain in the forest.

A day with you
Let's see what it has
The anxious waiting for you to come in sight
Silhouette coming into view
And my smile, a welcome reflex
The sun comes out to greet us both
I'm happy in the sun (you)
Snakes slither across my spine
In your embrace
Cold pit, warm furnace.
Signs of hazard stop

Like coming under fire
The rain pours (shelter)
Blazing defiantly like the sun
Your touch like sugar in jam
Viscosity of this vice you hold me in
This sensation you hold me in
Entropic

Tried to say something but all I have are maggots falling from the rotten gums
Felt cold and it was the knife twisting and turning rusty in my gut
How did it vanish like houses of cards
A clinking of glass the swirling of colors
Electric scraping on tangible tastes
The moans on loan from cascading faith
Oh Lord Almighty, feel me now as I sin
Wrong you
Lie to myself
Cheat on you
Let go of you
This perfect drug

It's just so difficult
When old scars remain
When love is supposed to be cherished
Instead bloodied foreheads and redeye is all I get

It's just so difficult
While pain lingers
While hate takes over life
And the broken bones and open wounds
is all I have

Help me I'm in Hell
Help me I'm in Hell
Only death awaits
Whether you come to save me or not
It feels that you will just be content to see me drown
I was a mistake.

I'm playing second fiddle to you.
No such thing as champion for good
I'll gladly embrace the devil in me
If only to forget your promise.

Old feelings bubble to the surface,
Finding my tongue tied and heart slightly scarred from all you've done.
Oh, she who once I called sister.
Bound by ties stronger than blood,
And spirits lighter than wine.
How I've missed you.
Cause you, you just know.
You just do.

And I've watched things on this screen, appear and disappear faster than we both would know.
And her hand, so soft in my cracked palms and ashen lips.
Feel the dark rhythms explode in your breast.

I took myself where I didn't wanna go.
I dragged myself down, I used myself up.
Perhaps you left because of that.
You were being replaced, perhaps that was the fear.

But these blood and tears, erased like the gut-wrenching confessions and years of pain.
Crawl back for more, back for more.
I crawled to shore, not knowing it was running out, the continent shrinking to an isle.

We'll lose the ones we love,
Lose the ones we most adore,
Yet we go on, we go on.

Blood and tears, through sweet release we share in death.

Everything seems so worthwhile.
For a moment.
For a moment.

What is it that I'm waiting for?
Waiting for words I barely know.
Life kicks me in the teeth, but I still crawl through these torrential blood and tears.

And years crawl on, and the death I hold is now complete.

It is a burial at sea.
A Viking pyre.
... And the silent dissonance of perfect insanity.

Like a ******'s mess of a mind in a rut to get his fix, I ran from distraction to distraction.
The original sin of knowledge, and innocence lost.
They cascaded like raindrops on my face, and became **** on my windshield.
Slowly, becoming perhaps more bitter and jaded, a basic ***** to life and her schadenfreude.
A single desecration of desexualized thought, and that was it.
I wanted more.

I'm forever missing you.
I'm always chasing ghosts, even if I put them to sleep.
The thoughts hovering like hummingbirds.. for once the sun belonged to us.
Our nuclear sun.
The ray of light that once belonged to me. And me alone.


I miss you.
I'm forever nuclear whenever I think of you, for your voice echoing in my skull is the only thing I hear these days.

A little bit of something I haven't kissed,
A little bit of a line I inch closer to

Help me chain myself
Anchor my soul and body

A gradual slow crawl to a halt
Rolling eyes at the visual premonition
Surely this must be in jest, old feelings emerge and though not mine
Niche tastes flap on my tongue
Inquisitiveness turns to desire
Clamping down on the Beast

Time is a cruel mistress, is she not?
Yesterday bought stability
Now today bought sins to light.
eu sunt dracul *chuckle

(Let's go)
Up and down the boulevard of broken dreams

(Shy glance)
Across the boulevard of broken dreams

Saw her again
Shy, like my Dana
Sultry lips
With a scent of distinctness
Infatuated with the thighs, tempting
Inviting, so much like an oasis
In the middle of sandy dunes, twin suns

Two steps from hell
Disturbed
Five fingers I raise
Four I keep, one thumb I raise
Dana walks over to me and smiles.