Brain fuzzed like a cloud of smoke,
Every bad thought just vanished,
I am not going to lie, it feels amazing.
Cocooned in a loving embrace,
It makes me feel safe.

Once the cocoon falls off, my mind is racing.
Every thought comes back like one massive hurricane, hurling every emotion like debris,
Out through anger and frustration.

Once it stops, I stand and look,
Broken promises and conversation like shattered glass spilled onto the floor making it hard to walk.

Everyone is shocked at my actions, my parents heartbroken and hurt. My siblings, they pretend not to notice but I see the sadness as they refuse to talk.

I still don’t care, I love feeling numb,
I love not feeling myself and feeling ****** up,
So I then again turn to my old friend,
Then the cycle begins once again.