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 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Harry J Baxter
I write about my own life too much
and I don't think complaining is art
sure you may relate to the ******* I spout
but don't you think I wrote it with you in mind
you are never in my mind
My thought process goes like this:
1) how can I score something to get me high
2) what is the best way I can shirk my responsibilities
3) how can I write something to prove how smart and deep I am
4) how can I convince her to **** me
I need validation
I need to be left alone
I need to be kicked in the ***
I need to grow up
but I won't
call me Peter ******* Pan
only it's not Never Never land we fly to
no I convince you you can follow me out of your bedroom window
take flight with me
then I watch as your body explodes ****** and mangled on the concrete of your parents' driveway
then I write a poem about how hard it was for me to watch
My poems are selfish
because *******
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Harry J Baxter
One day at a time is the mantra of the sickly beggars I call my people
oh addiction, such a hot, edgy topic, look at you breaking down barrier after barrier
no not this one
this one's one for the people who took the road less traveled
only to realize nobody walks that path for a reason
the bushes buzz with flies looming over dumped ****** victims
women sell their trade for a feeling of being loved
and the monsters don't fear the dark
one day at a time
this will all be worthwhile in the end
the end.
it never comes really
you think it's just you? your ignorance makes me laugh to sickness
give me a runners high over a drug any day
like there's an actual difference between the two
like one hundred years from now we won't be sharing the same plot of dirt?
my awful lungs and liver and kidneys and heart
your slightly less awful organs
One day at a time
every day of the year
tally marked against white walls with posters of the things we took for granted
one
day
at
a
time
time to get up
it's a new day
roll the die
play the game
hope you get lucky
one day at a time
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
rivy
Made
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
rivy
I am made of red lipstick and brewed coffee at four in the morning
I am made of hidden scars and kisses    
under bleachers
I am made of black tights and short skirts
I am made of drugstore make up and hickeys
I am made of city lights and stiletto heels
And a bit of acid
I am made of free shots of love and unspoken 'I love you's'
I am made of sad tears and fake smirks
I am made of poetry and dusty furniture no one will ever clean
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
REAL
10th month

October 2013:
I went to the cafe
with my best friend Becca
she ordered something to eat
i ordered a tea
i told my adventures with kirsten so far
to all of it she answered
" You two together yet?"
i replyed
" no not yet, i hope soon."
a couple of days after she told
me she just wanted to be friends
i was sad and all, but i was fine with it
She came over my house one morning
we watched a movie
"Love story"
after we went to my room i showed her my poetry
and climbed on the bed and held hands
We went outside
and biked around for awhile
it was like a movie.

the week to come
we had another night advenutre
it was cold that night
but we ran a lot
sat on a river bank
listened to music
and ran off into a golfcourse
near a pond
we threw our glowsticks in
and layed in the grass
ran through sprinklers
and laughed

Fall was starting to make more of an opening
more cold
more colors were breaking in
me and my friend janessa rode the train
one afternoon before thanksgiving
up and down the town we went
enjoying every moment

thanksgiving came
and kirsten came over my house
she kissed me
and we spent the night
in eacothers arms
We enjoyed it
so we did it a couple of more times
after that night
i remember waking ine morning
with her lip marks on my neck

the last week of october
came around the corner,
Kirsten once again told me
she  did not want to be with me
just friends
i accepted it,though i did not want to
i could do nothing
my words were nothing
we spent  five days together
i like to refer to them
" the last five days of friendship"
after those five days
something went wrong
and we barely spoke anymore

it snowed terribly
before Halloween
Otober advenures ended
and ****** november came
Goodbye October
thank you
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
TJ Chiang
He is the best, the hometown hero
He is the guy girls would die to date
He's the guy all guys wanna be
He's the trophy and all
But even the best fall down sometimes
Even the gold and glitter melts into the air
Even the best has a side of him that no- one
Wants to be beautiful disaster.
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
REAL
Sea toes
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
REAL
You gave me that cold look
on the night of the summers end
and i lost all thought
confuzed like a child on a foggy day
but melting with happiness
slipping through the problems
that dont ohld me back
no more no more

Did you hear me?
I'm over
Did you hear me?
i'm done hearing your voice
Did you hear me?
i'm floating on like a feather
that fell off a wise bird wings drifting the skys
Did you hear me?
I'm done

So my walked around last night
passed through the old road
we used to run on
a paper layed on the ground
picked it up and unfolded it
and i see youve been talking behind my back
Telling lies about me
thats leaving a sour feeling in your tongue
said you never hurt me
i guess thats lie
you told me so i could  trust you
Goodbye goodbye

I'm driking tea with friends
and laughing at the good moments
feeling my heart is numb
maybe am ready to fly
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Tori
Poetry
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Tori
I found you

You are in every word
Filling up the spaces
Tagging along with every letter
Screaming at the pages

In poetry
I found you
To Ross
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
rivy
Darling
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
rivy
i don't want to be the one who never knows when to cherish a silent moment with you
i want to be the one who whispers i love you in your ear, under the onyx sky as i hold your cold hands in mine
i don't want to taste cheap wine from your sweet lips at seven in the morning
when i know you haven't even slept yet
i want to taste your mom's brewed coffee
i don't want to breathe in smoke
when you hold me in your arms
i want to feel your heart beating faster as i smile against your neck
i don't want to cry myself to sleep
unless i can be in the comfort of your arms as you whisper sweet nothings and tells me everything will be alright
but aFter staring at the starlighted sky
i lay myself on an emptied bed
you open up your tired eyes
and for a moment we both wish we could take back the words we didn't mean tO say out loud
and we are both very aware of the seven hours that teaRs us apart
i don't want to be the one waiting at the phone for a call or anY sign telling me you're still mine
mostly because i know you'll be the One picking up and putting down the phone after realising you don't miss my voice enoUgh to listen to it for the last time
because i can't get you out of my **** mind
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Dánï
I heard about people that cut,
Emos.
I heard about people that put nothing in their gut,
Anorexics.
I heard about people that say if, and or but,
Liars.
I saw someone with emotional pain.
I saw someone with endless shame.
I saw someone trying to keep sane.
-d.***
 Dec 2013 Tabitha
Dánï
I find it a bit hypocritical that I talk about "feeling" all the time,
I'm as numb as they get,
The ones that say they're fine,
Because we don't know how to explain something we haven't acquired yet.

I can't love you or hate you,
I don't have it in me to feel extremes,
You won't have what you need when it's due,
I have a weird way of letting off steam.

I can listen, I can "sympathize",
I can make you feel good- it'll all seem true,
It's unnerving you'll soon realize,
*It's definitely me, not you.
-d.***
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