you are forgetting

your body is a scared temple

you must invite only those
who have proven
they are worthy to love
everything of you
especially your scars

i am nothing
but stardust

gracefully falling
galaxy’s mistake

stardust
nonexistent

i thought about the times
we once spent endlessly
married hand & hand
but the calendar only
marked our forever
as just a few hours

i thought about the times
we once spent endlessly
separated heart & heart
& the calendar only
marked our isolation
as countless hours

i thought about the times
we once spent endlessly
thoughts mind & mind
as the calendar only
marked our shyness
as just a forever

i purposely put myself down
only to be told by others
how strong my worth is
because i like hearing it from them
when i cannot tell myself
in times of loneliness

you are
the one thing

i have always wanted
and never gotten

and that simply is
the one endowment

i will strive to achieve
for the rest of my life

& you know what hurts the most
that you were not the person
there for me anymore
to kiss me goodnight
comfort me during nightmares
& still be there in the morning
after going through it all
& eventually it got lonely
without your presence in my life
i kept waiting for you to come
& part of me knew you were not
but a small part of me still held on
because that is what i do
i keep a small fracture of hope
hope for you & i
if you were not going to
i was
& you still never came around
so i had to become that person
to kiss myself goodnight
comfort myself during nightmares
because it was still i
who was there in the morning
after going through it all
but this time
it was without you
& if you ever decide to return
i will be strong enough
to leave beautifully like you did
because i am now able to play both roles
since you decided to turn your script in

oh my heart
how much it hurts
for i long for a love
that is everlasting
but i have not received
what i have been seeking

oh my heart
how it beats so fast
for the recognition of
an endless relation

oh my heart
how it is in two
waiting for the one
to repair the breaks
with forever glue

i can spend the entire day
creating lasting memories
just to have them see me
smile greatly upon them
only to be heartbroken
when they decide that
i am easily forgettable
after giving them everything
from my heart to my soul

how is it so easy to not think of a girl like me. i thought i was unforgettable but you proved me wrong. did you not like the smell of my perfume. was my hair parted the wrong way. did i not smile brightly enough for you. or my works of poetry that reveal high selling books of mature language. tell me what i am doing wrong so i can become more like your type. because i want to be memorable. always on your mind.

you are waiting for things
that have already been
designated to a new owner

run away as far as you can
eventually time will lead
back into our tired hands

come back to me
as you promise

make the future now
let the past be forgotten

put me to sleep easily
settle pains in abundance

tell me a beautiful lie
make me feel okay

let me be the chase
desire me for once

send me off gracefully
seek private adventure

grant me an early start
let me run far away
just to come back to you

my mom left me last night
by choice
same for my father
by choice

bright flames lit them up
as they had time
to save themselves
but they did not wish to
it was as if
they were okay with dying

i was not okay with staying
i had to leave them
by choice
i performed my solo sadly
as life danced on
without my parents

it was a nightmare
of personal choices
made by those i love
giving me horrors

i woke up at the stroke
of three in the morning
sweat dances on my back
heat rising like the flames
that took my parents away

it was the worst of them all
for i meant nothing to them
but it was only just a dream

i am starting to forget
the simple things about you

the way your hands felt
when you touched my cold body

the smile you gave me
when i presented emotions

your hair against the wind
in my car as you drove it fast

my doctor is slowly increasing
my prescription of medication
so i can no longer remember you

perhaps you were the man for me
that was meant to be that very one
that was destined to get away

stop putting off that thing
you told me you were
going to do
before this & that
became more of a priority

perhaps you should return
to that thing you told me
that you were going to do
&
ignore your so important
this & that

because i guarantee you
this & that are not as successful
as that thing you told me
that you were going to do

yes that thing
that you spoke
so excitedly about

                               - lazy to succeed

i want to say that i am in love
but i know that love does not hurt

a feeling like this is not true
if you have little care about my place

they say love should be easy
but why do you make it so hard

silly am i to be
to think you did love me
because if you truly did
i would not be standing
in a puddle of my tears

i watch the days slowly pass
with our love hanging on the line
for you have not cared to change
the unconfirmed status of you & i

i wonder if it is time to call quits
& bow for my perfect solo performed
because i have presented a love
greater than you will ever live to know

i am nothing but a fool
who is crazy over you

for i still seek
the potential
in every aspect
of your bittersweet
sorrowful existence
disappointment
uphold tremendously
for you are not my father
nor the man of my dreams

i feel as if i am like the sunrise
a beautiful thing always being missed

if i do not ever know my worth
then who will ever either

i need to stop putting myself
in the category of nothing
when clearly i am worth
more than something